re: Why do most bicyclists wear gay-looking clothes?

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Instead of spending tons of money on padded shorts, why not pad the seat? “We have to wear padded shorts because the seats are rock hard” but don’t do anything to actually solve the root cause. Brilliant.

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Ah, but 100 years of cycling has taught everyone from weekend warriors to pros this doesn't work. I could think of about a dozen reasons but I will illustrate the most salient one:

If you look at the pad/chamois on a pair of quality cycling shorts or bibs you will see it is a very complex shape. With areas that are padded and areas that are not and the padding is a mix of multiple densities of foam. This is because for the best comfort and efficiency different areas of the saddle region need different firmness in the padding or no padding at all. So I know you are thinking just mirror this on the saddle, but this doesn't work. During a ride you move around on the saddle for best efficiency. You may be well back on the saddle at some points and on the nose at others depending on the type of effort and terrain. With bibs/shorts the padding moves with you and stays in the correct position whereas if you padded the saddle you would only have comfort/efficiency in one position.

So no, you didn't have a brilliant idea that will revolutionize what all the pro tour teams wear next year, you just had an idea someone thought of decades ago and it was discarded because it doesn't work in reality.

I'd trade my three other picks for 3 more rounds with #2