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re: Why are couples that choose not to have kids looked down upon?
Posted on 2/23/17 at 12:48 pm to Scanlon Shorthalt
Posted on 2/23/17 at 12:48 pm to Scanlon Shorthalt
I think the selfish idea stems from the meaning of life/values of the two different parties.
If you don't want kids to focus on your career and have more disposable income/free time/ability to do want you want then I would say you are defining what you want to get out of life much more materialistically than I am. To me the meaning of life is to experience as much love and joy as possible and family is the ultimate expression of that.
Those who are capable of having a family and raising kids responsibly but choosing not to seem selfish by comparison. Your actions are saying that there isn't room for anyone else in your life but you, how can that not be viewed as selfish?
I honestly believe that those choosing not have a family will sincerely regret it at some point later in life.
If you don't want kids to focus on your career and have more disposable income/free time/ability to do want you want then I would say you are defining what you want to get out of life much more materialistically than I am. To me the meaning of life is to experience as much love and joy as possible and family is the ultimate expression of that.
Those who are capable of having a family and raising kids responsibly but choosing not to seem selfish by comparison. Your actions are saying that there isn't room for anyone else in your life but you, how can that not be viewed as selfish?
I honestly believe that those choosing not have a family will sincerely regret it at some point later in life.
0
Posted on 2/23/17 at 12:48 pm to Jeff Boomhauer
Why is not eating looked down upon?
Why is suicide looked down upon?
You are going against one of our biggest natural instincts. Survive and multiply. It is looked down upon because it is in our genetic code to look down upon it.
Why is suicide looked down upon?
You are going against one of our biggest natural instincts. Survive and multiply. It is looked down upon because it is in our genetic code to look down upon it.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 12:50 pm to shotcaller1
quote:Not wanting to have kids is by literal definition weird.
How is that weird?
Posted on 2/23/17 at 12:50 pm to Jeff Boomhauer
quote:
Why are couples that choose not to have kids looked down upon?
They aren't in many areas. I realize that most you live in dimwitted, backwoods places though.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 12:52 pm to Pettifogger
quote:
But is she? I concede to you on the raw numbers, but I'm not certain that drains on society are necessarily worse than those who advocate for a system that allow drains on society.
That system is going to remain in place whether or not some ugly woman you don't like is famous.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 12:55 pm to TigerBait1127
quote:
Not to mention all the social stigmas that you can avoid
so you were pressured by the social stigmas. Dual income can be achieved without marriage. Tax benefits are negligible after a certain amount of income. If you dont make much then sure its beneficial.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 12:56 pm to BigPerm30
quote:
wouldn't get married if I didn't want kids. I'd rather play the field. The only reason to get married is to have kids.
Should be a healthy marriage
Posted on 2/23/17 at 12:59 pm to tke857
quote:
so you were pressured by the social stigmas
It's undoubtedly a factor in social, family, and business environments.
quote:
Dual income can be achieved without marriage.
Sure. What's marriage other than committing to another for life and having a party though?
Guess what else can be achieved without marriage: having kids
You can apply your same questions to getting married in general.
quote:
Tax benefits are negligible after a certain amount of income. If you dont make much then sure its beneficial.
Health care differences alone can be pretty substantial. What happens if your SO passes away? Especially for the wealthy.
Your issue seems to be with the concept of marriage in the first place.
This post was edited on 2/23/17 at 1:06 pm
Posted on 2/23/17 at 1:01 pm to TheCaterpillar
quote:
I can't wait to have kids
interesting since
quote:
I'm waiting for our lives to financially more stable
apparently you can wait till you think you have enough money to afford them
quote:
and we're going to try and cut it off at 2.
kind of contradicts your first point, no? If
quote:
Procreating for the survival of the species is basically the #1 natural instinct of every animal.
why would you stop at 2? You should want as many as you can have. What if the 2 die?
Posted on 2/23/17 at 1:05 pm to Jeff Boomhauer
Posted on 2/23/17 at 1:05 pm to Scanlon Shorthalt
quote:
. Those that choose not to have kids tend to be the type of people that we think SHOULD have kids. They are usually well grounded, successful, good people. You think "wow, they would be great parents, why don't they have kids?". Meanwhile hood rats and welfare queens are pumping out more societal leaches daily.
This has not been my experience. The couples I know who do not want kids, openly admit they are too selfish and don't want to be inconvenienced with kids or even pets for that matter. I am thankful that have the foresight to know this, they would be horrible parents.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 1:07 pm to Pettifogger
quote:And they probably see people who want to have kids as weird as well.
But if you don't want kids because you don't want to use the money and want to dedicate your life to your career, I think that's weird.
quote:
I don't look down on those people for the decision
quote:Oh
I just think more than likely I'd find you to be insufferable and generally unenjoyable to spend time with.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 1:07 pm to TigerBait1127
meh if you are about being married to be like everyone else in social situations then I think thats part of the problem.
While I agree being able to put your spouse on your health insurance can save a lot of money I still dont see a huge TAX benefit from being married. Obviously, peoples situations can differ.
While I agree being able to put your spouse on your health insurance can save a lot of money I still dont see a huge TAX benefit from being married. Obviously, peoples situations can differ.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 1:11 pm to tke857
quote:
meh if you are about being married to be like everyone else in social situations then I think thats part of the problem.
You haven't actually said what the problem is. I gave one benefit/reason. What's the negative, compared to those who want kids, in getting married?
Once again, the main reason: what's marriage other than a celebration of one person committing to another for life in front of friends and family?
Why should it only he celebrated if someone wants to have kids?
Your issue seems to be with marriage in general.
Furthermore, if you're only getting married to have kids, what happens after the kids are raised and moved out?
This post was edited on 2/23/17 at 1:14 pm
Posted on 2/23/17 at 1:13 pm to shel311
quote:
And they probably see people who want to have kids as weird as well.
Well, they're in a small minority, so that's dumb.
quote:
Oh
There is a considerable difference between thinking yourself superior to others and generally wanting to avoid unpleasant people.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 1:14 pm to tigerinthebueche
quote:
I can't wait to have kids
interesting since
quote:
I'm waiting for our lives to financially more stable
apparently you can wait till you think you have enough money to afford them
I want them to have everything they need. I want the best for them and right now that isn't possible.
quote:
and we're going to try and cut it off at 2.
kind of contradicts your first point, no? If
Actually, no, it doesn't. "I can't wait to have kids" doesn't mean "I can't wait to have 9 kids". I didn't specify how many we wanted. And we're limiting it to two because of my previous point.
quote:
Procreating for the survival of the species is basically the #1 natural instinct of every animal.
why would you stop at 2? You should want as many as you can have. What if the 2 die?
If I was a billionaire, I'd want to pump out a new one every 9 months. Hell yeah, that'd be fricking sweet.
But alas, I'm not rich. So I want to have as many as I can support well.
ETA:
I'd rather have 2 kids that are afforded every advantage in life and given every chance possible to succeed, rather than have 5 kids with less advantages because I can't afford as much for them. I didn't have to pay for college, I don't want my kids to either. I went to good schools growing up and I want them to as well.
I can't pay for college and private school for 5 kids.
This post was edited on 2/23/17 at 1:19 pm
Posted on 2/23/17 at 1:16 pm to TheCaterpillar
Also, I don't actually get pissed at people for not having kids.
I don't really care what other people do. It just sucks that the dumbest and poorest in this country reproduce so much and the well-off, intelligent folks reproduce so little.
Like I said, if I was a billionaire, I would have a bakers dozen if the wife would be ok with it
I don't really care what other people do. It just sucks that the dumbest and poorest in this country reproduce so much and the well-off, intelligent folks reproduce so little.
Like I said, if I was a billionaire, I would have a bakers dozen if the wife would be ok with it
Posted on 2/23/17 at 1:17 pm to shel311
quote:Well, the weird ones are people who dont want to have kids....
And they probably see people who want to have kids as weird as well.
I have no issued with it, but not wanting to have kids is weird. It is divergent from the norm, so it is weird
Posted on 2/23/17 at 1:17 pm to lsupride87
quote:
Why is not eating looked down upon?
Why is suicide looked down upon?
Not eating, committing suicide, and not procreating...
1 of these is not like the others.
Posted on 2/23/17 at 1:19 pm to shel311
quote:They all involve our two biggest instincts as animals. Survive and multiply.
Not eating, committing suicide, and not procreating...
1 of these is not like the others.
Not eating, suicide, and not having kids effect zero people but ourselves. So why is it that any of those give people unnatural/angry feelings?
This post was edited on 2/23/17 at 1:20 pm
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