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Started By
Message
re: what's the worst experience you've had with a drunk chick
Posted on 4/9/18 at 10:00 am to X123F45
Posted on 4/9/18 at 10:00 am to X123F45
quote:
I just thought of another one involving heavy period sex, blood thinners, alcohol, and a boutique bed and breakfast in north Carolina run by jimmy swaggerts former piano player.
I had to buy sheets and a mattress.
Something similar happened to me on my 17th birthday but I was the one who was shitfaced drunk. My older brother was throwing me a birthday party and bough me a fifth of Southern Comfort. I got blind drunk quickly. My GF at the time decided that night she was my other birthday gift. She takes me to my room and I eat her like she’s a bag of rice thrown from the back of a UN truck and I’m an Ethiopian child. When we’re done we rejoin the party but my drunk arse didn’t bother looking in the mirror or clean myself up. Apparently she had “just stated” literally while I’m going going down in her. At least that’s what she later claimed. Needless to say I looked like this...
2
Posted on 4/9/18 at 10:18 am to Darth_Vader
some of yall are some sick mfrs
Posted on 4/9/18 at 10:59 am to oleyeller
for some strange reason i feel like this OT thread has the most honest responses of any thread i've read in the last 10 years 
Posted on 4/9/18 at 11:26 am to CAD703X
quote:
I see said friend in squat position standing in the tub with other girl laying directly under his arse with saran wrap around her head.
How could she breathe?
Posted on 4/9/18 at 11:32 am to Darth_Vader
quote:
eat her like she’s a bag of rice thrown from the back of a UN truck and I’m an Ethiopian child
Posted on 4/9/18 at 11:34 am to bamaphan13
quote:
How could she breathe?
maybe she also enjoyed the warmness of death's embrace
Posted on 4/9/18 at 11:43 am to L1C4
My buddy told me a story once about the single older lady he lived next door to and was banging. He wasn't taking the relationship seriously and apparently she was. She makes him a pie one afternoon and told him to "come over and get it".
Well he never got around to it and later that night she got shitfaced drunk and threw the pie through the old plate glass window in his front door.
She cuts herself really bad on the glass and he has to call EMS to haul her away before she bleeds out on his front porch.
Well he never got around to it and later that night she got shitfaced drunk and threw the pie through the old plate glass window in his front door.
She cuts herself really bad on the glass and he has to call EMS to haul her away before she bleeds out on his front porch.
Posted on 4/9/18 at 12:58 pm to DropaDeuce
quote:
about the single older lady he lived next door to and was banging
i cant think of a worse idea than banging the person who lives next door to you. how could this not end badly?
Posted on 4/9/18 at 1:17 pm to CAD703X
This is not about myself, this is my best friend (seriously, because i wouldnt even make this post saying it was my friend if it were wbout me)
I swear every word of this is true, or strike me dead now.
Sooo this was back in about 2002ish, i was 19 or 20. My buddy (we will call him by his nickname abe) was over at my house helping me wire some speakers in my car. So this was in the middle of july, i still remember to this day. It was hot as piss, sweat was pouring down... when abe said "D, if i tell you something you promise not to tell anyone?" So he had my full attention!! He stopped what he was doing and was like "seriously man, this doesnt leave here.. i hadnt told anyone and i need to tell it, and wana know what you would have done". So i was all excited, this was gone be good. Abe goes on "aite man, you know this girl Crystal? Well she came over the other night and we were drinking tequila. We both got tipsy and and ended up in my bed. She flipped over for me to hit it doggy style, so there i was hammering away and i looked down and saw her bhole and all of a sudden i saw something.. something like comming out" Now at this moment i was preparing to hear this girl sharted or something so i was expecting something bad, but what he was about to tell me was far far worse.. so abe says " man it was a worm! A little white worm wiggling out of her bhole" I lost it, i about puked. I said dude did u jerk it out and leave.. he said "naw man i was too far into it then, i just closed my eyes and finished.. but i dont think i will call her again". I was sick to my stomach, i had so many questions to ask "what if the worm fell out on your pecker" "did you tell her about it" "what causes worms to come out a persons bhole"... man i was sick
I swear every word of this is true, or strike me dead now.
Sooo this was back in about 2002ish, i was 19 or 20. My buddy (we will call him by his nickname abe) was over at my house helping me wire some speakers in my car. So this was in the middle of july, i still remember to this day. It was hot as piss, sweat was pouring down... when abe said "D, if i tell you something you promise not to tell anyone?" So he had my full attention!! He stopped what he was doing and was like "seriously man, this doesnt leave here.. i hadnt told anyone and i need to tell it, and wana know what you would have done". So i was all excited, this was gone be good. Abe goes on "aite man, you know this girl Crystal? Well she came over the other night and we were drinking tequila. We both got tipsy and and ended up in my bed. She flipped over for me to hit it doggy style, so there i was hammering away and i looked down and saw her bhole and all of a sudden i saw something.. something like comming out" Now at this moment i was preparing to hear this girl sharted or something so i was expecting something bad, but what he was about to tell me was far far worse.. so abe says " man it was a worm! A little white worm wiggling out of her bhole" I lost it, i about puked. I said dude did u jerk it out and leave.. he said "naw man i was too far into it then, i just closed my eyes and finished.. but i dont think i will call her again". I was sick to my stomach, i had so many questions to ask "what if the worm fell out on your pecker" "did you tell her about it" "what causes worms to come out a persons bhole"... man i was sick
Posted on 4/9/18 at 1:27 pm to oleyeller
Posted on 4/9/18 at 1:29 pm to oleyeller
quote:
A little white worm wiggling out of her bhole" I lost it, i about puked. I said dude did u jerk it out and leave.. he said "naw man i was too far into it then, i just closed my eyes and finished.. but i dont think i will call her again". I was sick to my stomach, i had so many questions to ask "what if the worm fell out on your pecker" "did you tell her about it" "what causes worms to come out a persons bhole"... man i was sick
Frick, I'm done with the internet for today.
Posted on 4/9/18 at 1:30 pm to L1C4
I was at a sorority event with this one chick
We both got drunk, hooked up, started dating, got married and now have kids
If that wouldnt have happened I'd have alot more time for golf
We both got drunk, hooked up, started dating, got married and now have kids
If that wouldnt have happened I'd have alot more time for golf
Posted on 4/9/18 at 1:34 pm to oleyeller
she probably had them in her vagina as well, one for sure crawled up his peter hole.
quote:
Pinworms live in the digestive tract and especially the anus. Pinworms can also infest the vagina in females. The best prevention is strict hygiene, but let’s face it, what toddler has perfect hygiene? If your child is a nail biter or thumb sucker, it’s nearly impossible to prevent pinworms. And once pinworms are in your house, they often spread to the entire family, including parents.
Here’s the good news: pinworms are easily treated with either over-the-counter or prescription medications. Before you rush off to Walgreens to buy Reece’s Pinworm Medicine or Pin-X, make sure you really have pinworms. It’s easy to diagnose at home, and these tricks work for grown-ups, too.
How to tell if your child has pinworms: If your child is complaining of anal itching, especially at night, check on them in their bed about 2-3 hours after they fall asleep. Pick a night when they didn’t have a bath, if possible. Bring a good flashlight, and have your child lay on their belly with their buttocks in the air. Spread the butt cheeks and get a good look at the anus. Ask your child to push out like they are having a bowel movement while you are looking, which will help expose the anus.
Look carefully for one or more white worms about 4-12 mm long and about as thick as a piece of white thread or dental floss. If you see it move, it’s a worm. Click here to see a picture of a pinworm. Pick up the worm with a piece of scotch tape (the transparent kind) so that you can prove your diagnosis to your physician, your child, or anyone else who doesn’t want to believe the ugly truth of pinworms. If you don’t see anything, or if you’re not sure what you’re looking at, just apply a piece of scotch tape to the anal area, crossing from about 2 cm on one side of the anus to about 2 cm on the other side of the anus. Press firmly, then stick the tape to a glass microscope slide, sticky side down. If you don’t have a glass slide, you can get one from your physician. The pinworm eggs will stick to the tape and your doctor will be able to see them under a microscope, diagnosing the pinworms. This is called the “scotch tape test.”
How to treat pinworms at home without a prescription: If you found a worm and saw it move, you probably don’t need to see your physician. Pinworms can usually be treated completely with two doses of over-the-counter medicine called pyrantel pamoate, available in the United States under the brand names Pin-X and Reese’s Pinworm Medicine. Take one dose immediately and another dose two weeks later. If you are having persistent symptoms (anal pain, abdominal pain, blood in stool, or rectal bleeding), be sure to seek medical care immediately.
This post was edited on 4/9/18 at 1:35 pm
Posted on 4/9/18 at 1:58 pm to cajunangelle
Ok...this thread has been a lot of fun, but I think we can all agree we're done here now.
This post was edited on 4/9/18 at 2:24 pm
Posted on 4/9/18 at 2:20 pm to BrohemAlem11
quote:
Ok...this thread has been a lot of fun, but I think we can all agree were done here now.
yeah i think its time to close it down
Posted on 4/9/18 at 3:05 pm to oleyeller
...And at that, we've gone from dark comedy to horror.
Checking out of this thread now.
Checking out of this thread now.
Posted on 4/9/18 at 3:14 pm to bamaphan13
quote:it wasnt wrapped air tight...she wasnt putting herself in the fridge.
how could she breathe
quote:it was the common area sink not the bathroom sink. I think it is kind of self explanatory in terms of not wanting to interrupt their shindig.
why in the sink
Posted on 4/9/18 at 4:03 pm to L1C4
I knew this chick probably 10 years ago, she was a friends little sister but we lost contact for a while. She found me randomly on social media, was really excited about it and wanted to meet up the next day. Cool. She comes over and we immediately start making out before she stops me, tells me she’s on the rag, and wants to just go get some drinks. I’m down, so we go out. We’re sitting at the bar at chimes shite hammered when she leans over and whispers in my ear that while she was in the bathroom, she realized her monthly gift had stopped giving, and that she’s ready to go bang it out. Score.
So, nothing too eventful, it was fun. She stays over, even gave me the morning secks when we woke up. She leaves, I go back to bed and stretch out and I felt something under the other pillow. Turn on the light and grab it...bitch left a used tampon under my pillow. I still haven’t exactly worked out why...or how...because there was no blood.
So, nothing too eventful, it was fun. She stays over, even gave me the morning secks when we woke up. She leaves, I go back to bed and stretch out and I felt something under the other pillow. Turn on the light and grab it...bitch left a used tampon under my pillow. I still haven’t exactly worked out why...or how...because there was no blood.
Posted on 4/9/18 at 4:37 pm to TigerStripes06
quote:
I still haven’t exactly worked out why
she wanted you to have something to remember her by... it clearly worked
Posted on 4/9/18 at 6:02 pm to L1C4
quote:
Barfed on? sharted on?
Knifed! Crazy drunk woman thought I was some other guy as I walked out of a bar in San Diego, came at me screaming and swinging a knife. I moved fast enough that she slashed my lower right side instead of stabbing me in the gut. Two of my buddies grabbed her from behind before she could take another run at me. Ended up with a dozen staples in my side, never did find out what the other guy did to piss her off so bad.
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