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re: What is the worst hook up experience you have ever had?
Posted on 6/11/14 at 10:37 pm to LuckyTiger
Posted on 6/11/14 at 10:37 pm to LuckyTiger
Please God don't let the stories stop. 
0
Posted on 6/11/14 at 10:59 pm to LuckyTiger
quote:
Met girl at party, hit it off, went back to her place. I was fairly drunk, as was she. We mess around and she tells me she wants to use her beads. I had never used beads. I slowly work them into her bunghole until all are inside her then I proceed to go to town on her honeytrap with my fingers. She gets close and tells me to pull the beads. I had never pulled beads, they felt stuck. So I yanked them like I was starting a lawn mower. She screamed. I yelled. She pooed. I vomited. She was pissed. I stumbled out the door.
Hell yes!!!!
Posted on 6/11/14 at 11:11 pm to cjk5h
quote:
A buddy and I were at the bar one night and he starts chatting it up with these two women who had to be pushing 40.After a few drinks they convince us to go with them back to their place to try out their hot tub. Once we got there we noticed these girls didn't look as good in a well lit room as they did in the dark bar,but we rode with them and both of our phones had died. So we said screw it and stayed.
So we get in the hot tub and both girls decided to take their tops off, revealing their disgusting tattoos they had. His girl had a weird scroll under her tit and mine had a tramp stamp that was just a huge fricking eyeball. After a few minutes in the hot tub my girl decides to take me up stairs. Its at this time she tells me that this isn't her house and that she doesn't live with the other women, but it was ok because she had a guess room for us to use
Oh wow. Damn.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 12:33 am to USMCTiger03
#Iloveit
Posted on 6/12/14 at 2:41 am to LuckyTiger
quote:
Met girl at party, hit it off, went back to her place. I was fairly drunk, as was she. We mess around and she tells me she wants to use her beads. I had never used beads. I slowly work them into her bunghole until all are inside her then I proceed to go to town on her honeytrap with my fingers. She gets close and tells me to pull the beads. I had never pulled beads, they felt stuck. So I yanked them like I was starting a lawn mower. She screamed. I yelled. She pooed. I vomited. She was pissed. I stumbled out the door.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 6:22 am to Alan Garner
MOAR!
Posted on 6/12/14 at 6:43 am to LuckyTiger
quote:
She screamed. I yelled. She pooed. I vomited. She was pissed. I stumbled out the door.
Sig worthy line right there.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 6:54 am to Icansee4miles
A few years ago I traded in my truck/purchased a 2013 tahoe with leather seats and was extremely OCD about keeping them spotless. I go to Oxford (where I graduated) for an event called double decker. End up running into an ex gf, picking her up, and driving back to a friends house. The house was packed with people sleeping all over the place so we proceeded to move along into the second row of my vehicle. She was known to be rough and even took it a bit far at times but it was all in good fun. The inside of the car was pitch black and she meant to playfully slap me but connected right into my nose. It didn't hurt at the time since I was shite faced but after a 10ish minutes of rolling around I kept feeling something wet on my face. I turned on the interior lights to discover both of us are completely nude and drenched in my blood. My nose was running like a faucet for over 10 min before we even noticed so there was blood all over both of us and the new interior of my car. I'm talking smears all over leather seats, smears on the carpet ceiling/rug, and anything else we had brushed up against. I ended up deciding to reset my own broken nose as we sat there trying to clean up which worked but hurt like hell. To this day, there are still various old blood stains inside my tahoe and my nose heavily favors the left side of my face.
This post was edited on 6/12/14 at 6:58 am
Posted on 6/12/14 at 6:58 am to Ed Osteen
I went home with a chick from the Gold Club years ago, get to her house and she strips naked (she was not working that night) and she's covered in fricking ringworms...
She's like it's nop big deal it's just ringworms..
uh.... NO! Good enough sign for me.
She was pretty pissed, still is evidently. I ended up just blocking her on facebook to avoid the typical stripper drama.
dumb count
She's like it's nop big deal it's just ringworms..
uh.... NO! Good enough sign for me.
She was pretty pissed, still is evidently. I ended up just blocking her on facebook to avoid the typical stripper drama.
dumb count
Posted on 6/12/14 at 7:06 am to LuckyTiger
quote:
So I yanked them like I was starting a lawn mower. She screamed. I yelled. She pooed. I vomited. She was pissed. I stumbled out the door
No shite she was pissed.
This post was edited on 5/15/22 at 11:55 pm
Posted on 6/12/14 at 7:15 am to mikelbr
What kind of life have you lead man
Posted on 6/12/14 at 7:16 am to rebeloke
So, my good buddy hasn't had any in quite the while. The long while that is. He's been talking to a chick recently and finally got it in Saturday night...but he didn't use a rubber. That, combined with long time with no nookie = ooops, sprayed them guts. 
She had to get Plan B the next day.
I asked him if he paid for (or at least offered to spring for) the Plan B, or if he just peaced out. He did the latter.
Not the worst story but still not a fun experience I imagine.
She had to get Plan B the next day. I asked him if he paid for (or at least offered to spring for) the Plan B, or if he just peaced out. He did the latter.
Not the worst story but still not a fun experience I imagine.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 7:17 am to Thib-a-doe Tiger
quote:
What kind of life have you lead man
I swear it wasn't as gay as it sounds. Hazy late night party. Chicks were egging it on, not the yanking part though.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 7:20 am to mikelbr
I wouldn't have wasted my time typing my reply if I knew you were already in this thread
Posted on 6/12/14 at 7:37 am to Ed Osteen
quote:
I wouldn't have wasted my time typing my reply if I knew you were already in this thread
This is a great thread. Folks' stories are making me feel a little normal.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 7:38 am to CajunInFL
quote:
It involved a hippie, an armpit full of hair, a bath tub full of panties, and a house that smelled like what an old hobo's suitcase would smell like. I GTFO.
Now this sounds like a party
Posted on 6/12/14 at 7:48 am to mikelbr
Posted on 6/12/14 at 8:45 am to Ed Osteen
Gives new meaning to that'll leave a mark...
Posted on 6/12/14 at 8:48 am to dale10
quote:
I was at the biker and scank rally called the strawberry festival
I must have misread the the topic b/c I havent' heard a worst yet. These all sound awesome to me. My worst hook up was still pretty awesome.
Posted on 6/12/14 at 9:07 am to mikelbr
quote:
I swear it wasn't as gay as it sounds. Hazy late night party. Chicks were egging it on, not the yanking part though.
I don't know, dude. It still sounds pretty gay. I'm trying to think of a way that it wouldn't be, and I can't.
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