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re: What is the worst hook up experience you have ever had?
Posted on 6/12/14 at 2:16 pm to Bushwackers
Posted on 6/12/14 at 2:16 pm to Bushwackers
Got a girl back to a hotel room once and although she would not do the deed, she would offer an HJ. So since we did not have any lube she decides to use the hotel shampoo. Ouch! I had trouble walking for days.
1
Posted on 6/12/14 at 2:46 pm to LuckyTiger
quote:
She screamed. I yelled. She pooed. I vomited. She was pissed. I stumbled out the door.
Oh, man. I actually lol'ed. I am a man of very few lol's, but that was definitely one right there. 
Posted on 6/12/14 at 6:13 pm to Azranod
Bump in hopes of more stories
Posted on 6/13/14 at 12:28 am to arseinclarse
quote:
arseinclarse
Dad watches daughter getting banged with brother also?
Negative ghost rider!
Posted on 6/13/14 at 3:25 pm to Bushwackers
Posted on 6/13/14 at 4:30 pm to rebeloke
I have one but it is not as good as some of the others. I think I was a freshman in college and I went home for the weekend. I ended up at a friend or a friend's house who happen to host a foreign exchange student. She was fairly cute and I was on a dry spell. At first no dice, but finally after rubbing on the split tail for long enough she gave in. She asked if I had protection and I said yes, I'll be right back. I come back in and she is in a bedroom waiting for me. I told her to lock the door and turn off the lights. It did not take long for the clothes to come off and get ready to do the deed. I slip it in and the door flies open, it was the girl she lived with. Apparently she had locked it but did not pull it hard enough for the lock to make contact with the door latch.
So the girl she lives with immediately tells me to leave so I gather my clothes and run out with my jimmy hat still on and all. I get in my truck and get dressed and get the hell out of there. The one stroke I got was good. I never saw her again.
So the girl she lives with immediately tells me to leave so I gather my clothes and run out with my jimmy hat still on and all. I get in my truck and get dressed and get the hell out of there. The one stroke I got was good. I never saw her again.
Posted on 6/13/14 at 4:33 pm to lsuCJ5
Why did you have to do what the roommate said? You should have just asked her to watch.
Posted on 6/13/14 at 4:34 pm to Traffic Circle
Should have raped her too
Posted on 6/13/14 at 6:28 pm to Walt OReilly
Posted on 6/13/14 at 6:29 pm to Azranod
quote:
She screamed. I yelled. She pooed. I vomited. She was pissed. I stumbled out the door.
Someone elaborate on the she screamed part. Was it from pleasure or pain?
Posted on 6/13/14 at 6:34 pm to monroe71201
Said beads were in her hiney and were yanked out at the rate of a lawnmower crank. Pain and pleasure are hard to distinguish for those types. Maybe both.
Posted on 6/14/14 at 1:30 am to jchamil
quote:
Met girl at party, hit it off, went back to her place. I was fairly drunk, as was she. We mess around and she tells me she wants to use her beads. I had never used beads. I slowly work them into her bunghole until all are inside her then I proceed to go to town on her honeytrap with my fingers. She gets close and tells me to pull the beads. I had never pulled beads, they felt stuck. So I yanked them like I was starting a lawn mower. She screamed. I yelled. She pooed. I vomited. She was pissed. I stumbled out the door.
quote:
That is a Tucker Max story
Yep, I didn't want to call him on it, but since you did...
That story is in about 50 standup routines. Especially the lawnmower bit.
Posted on 6/14/14 at 1:52 am to northshorebamaman
I'm in the bar in Tigerland maybe 10 minutes and this girl starts talking to me and 5 minutes later she asks if were going to her place or mine. We do the deed in my dorm room and when I look down the condom is at the base. I immediately call my friend he picks us both up and we go get plan b. We drop her off at her place and I never see or hear from her again.
Posted on 6/14/14 at 2:13 am to PrideofTheSEC
Ok this not exactly a worst hookup story, but it is funny. I'm out at Tiger bar back in college. This chick comes back to my place. My roommate was out of town. I didn't have any condoms so I went in his room and couldn't find any. This girl is getting impatient so I had to think real fast. What did I decide you ask??? I pulled out saran wrap. Cover my dick like a indian tp and put a rubber band around the shaft to keep it snug. Then rubbed some olive oil for lubrication. It was dark in the room and she didn't know any better. Did the deed and she left.
Second story is I hook up with this nasty chick from the same bar. I try screwing her, but the sex is terrible. I end up pulling out and beat off on top of her and nut in her face. Well she won't leave aftwerwards so I put her in my roommates bed since he was still out. Roommate finally gets home and comes in my room asking me why is a girl in his bed? I told him she likes to fock and that I didn't hit it. Next thing you know he's knocking it out. After he's done he tell her to leave. She won't leave so he physically throws her naked arse out the door with her clothes in her hands. She finally got the hint!
Second story is I hook up with this nasty chick from the same bar. I try screwing her, but the sex is terrible. I end up pulling out and beat off on top of her and nut in her face. Well she won't leave aftwerwards so I put her in my roommates bed since he was still out. Roommate finally gets home and comes in my room asking me why is a girl in his bed? I told him she likes to fock and that I didn't hit it. Next thing you know he's knocking it out. After he's done he tell her to leave. She won't leave so he physically throws her naked arse out the door with her clothes in her hands. She finally got the hint!
Posted on 6/14/14 at 2:16 am to mikelbr
quote:
sex toys from a dirty santa party + drunk hetero chicks + drunk hetero dudes + Molly + Cocaine =/story
I have never mixed Molly and Coke but I don't think my dick would work I did!
Unless I had some Cialis or something, then I would be rocking!!!! Posted on 6/14/14 at 3:14 am to lsuson
quote:
I didn't have any condoms so I went in his room and couldn't find any. This girl is getting impatient so I had to think real fast. What did I decide you ask??? I pulled out saran wrap. Cover my dick like a indian tp and put a rubber band around the shaft to keep it snug. Then rubbed some olive oil for lubrication. It was dark in the room and she didn't know any better. Did the deed and she left.
I bet you felt dumb as shite when you found out that you can just wash and reuse.
This post was edited on 6/14/14 at 3:17 am
Posted on 6/14/14 at 3:17 am to lsu480
Picked a chick up in a bar and railed her in a graveyard, I kept looking over and I'm pretty sure it was a child's grave we were next to. The bright side is at least I don't have to wonder about where I'm going when I die now
Posted on 6/14/14 at 7:52 am to seeLSUrun
Pucked in a girls hair before it got going. She left. Spring break trip.
Posted on 6/14/14 at 8:17 am to knuckleballer
The story starts with an unattractive girl and ends with me nearly losing my left eye and having to wear an eye patch for the next week. All the other details are hazy, but I recall waking up in a pool of my own blood in severe pain the next morning.
Posted on 6/14/14 at 8:19 am to seeLSUrun
Tells us about a chick who gets nasty on children's graves.
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