re: what is the craziest sex story you have had or have heard from a friend?

Got another one.....

First week at Baylor after I moved into the dorms so Welcome Week festivities were going on.

Was at a frat party and this chick I had fricked up a few times in high school was also going to Baylor and was around the house party I was at. She walks and meets me outside and we're walking to my truck and she just throws me up against this tree.

Now, I'm 18 and don't a give a shite after a night of drinking so I just start undoing this chick's shorts and she is just not caring at all. It came time for me to just flip her around and I did and then pulled her shorts down and started just knocking boots with this broad against this tree right next to the side of the road in downtown Waco.

After about 2-3 minutes of thrusting my baby arm in said chick, I hear this truck coming up and with a bunch of guys in the bed. Well it's some of my friends and some of the frat bros in there who just start DYING laughing.

I grab my shorts up, tell the chick, "thanks" and that I'll text her later. The first thing I hear when I get in the frat bros truck is "bid" and I was known from there on as the "guy who fricked a girl against a tree" and the girl was known as "tree fricker". Needless to say, she never partied with us again.

quote:

---

i hear this truck coming up with a bunch of guys in the bed

---

You sure it wasn't Texas A&M?

quote:

---

this chick I had fricked up a few times in high school

---

Easy there Chris Brown

A buddy of mine was a pitcher on a certain MLB team in the late 80's. One night he's in a bar room and this hot little blonde recognizes him (he assumed just from seeing him play) and starts flirting with him. He takes her home that night and later finds out she's married to the dickhead short stop on his team. Short stop found out and wasn't happy. Later down the road my buddy pitches them to their first pennant in quite some time and they made up, but not before ol boy punched him after the game.

My freshman year of college (Lived in Herget) on my birthday I was sitting in the lobby and told this girl you should come up to fool around for my birthday (the song birthday sex just came out). She said no but her said her friend sitting next to her would be down. I laughed and so ok, sure my room midnight, 603 or whatever the number was.

Sure enough at 12:03 she knocked on my door, said I'm tipsy, let's do this.

Bonus: I text d her about four days later and said a bj would be nice. She came over and said don't finish in her mouth. I gave her a courtesy tap and she said its fine. So when I finished it got warm. She threw up on my junk.... She took my comforter to get washed. When I got back from taking a shower I saw her Cane's receipt on my desk. Couldn't eat there for three years.

Was smashing a girl behind a bar, kind of in an overflow parking area. Car pulls up and three dudes jump out, jaws on the floor, yelling, 'That is AWESOME!!'

Girl was absolutely mortified and ran around the other side of the building, she came back and we finished. I proceed into the bar and the 3 guys from earlier had 3 rounds of shots lined up for me and her.

Got two.

10th grade. My parents, for some reason, let me bring my gf on vacation with us to Destin. Hormones were already raging at that age, and seeing her in that bikini 24/7 kept me perpetually chubbed. Anyways, everyone was gonna walk down to to the beach so our plan was to hang back in the condo for a few minutes and try to sneak in a quickie (now that I'm older, I realize they were pretty much all quickies back then - poor girl). So we hung out on the balcony until we saw them walk over the dunes and then ran back inside because it was game on! One problem, this was apparently a few days into the trip cause we were out of Trojans (gold box). We we both scared as shite of getting preggo, so had to improvise - Saran Wrap baby!


Banging a one nighter in college back at her place. The room was pitch black, and because of my tremendous oral skills she's going nuts with the noises (her roomie was up watching tv, so I was getting off knowing this girl could hear everything). Call it bad timing, but at the same time I raise up to work on those melons, she decides to do a sit up to go down on me. Her skull cracks my nose and I can feel that warm blood begin to gush. I jump up to go to the bathroom (which was in the hall) and when I fling open the door the roomie turns and screams when she sees this stranger, naked and bloody, emerge from the bedroom. Laughed about it later that night. She said she screamed because she didn't know if I had just murdered her friend, or ate her out on the rag.

I was making love... to my wife Donna.
On top of her - powerful thrusts, filling the sultry night air. Heavy breath.
My son Gabriel walked in, little boy.
My wife sprung out of bed and said "No, Gabriel! Leave!"
And I said "No, honey, shut your mouth, let him watch."
"Let him watch what is being consecrated here."

Flying home from winter break visiting my Mom in Miami, girlfriend picks me up at MSY and we do it in an airport bathroom. Went two weeks, she couldn't wait any longer.