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Started By
Message
re: What is proper Funeral Etiquette?
Posted on 4/8/14 at 7:09 pm to fr33manator
Posted on 4/8/14 at 7:09 pm to fr33manator
quote:
Attend the wake to show support for your employee. Unless she was your friend as well, skip the funeral
The answer.
0
Posted on 4/8/14 at 7:10 pm to CAT
The right choice. I usually go into a visitation speak to the immediate family, make small talk and the leave. 15 minutes in and out is optimal for me.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 7:14 pm to CAT
I'll tell you, don't tell them "It was all God's plan". I know these people mean well who say it, but it's something ridiculously insulting to anyone who doesn't share your identical POV.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 7:16 pm to cheesesteak501
Visitation & flowers your good
Posted on 4/8/14 at 7:17 pm to lsunurse
quote:
I can only do to either my coworker's children's funeral or the visitation this week(day shift is working part of my shift so I can go).
I'd say the opposite. The funeral is typically pressed for space, while you can stop in at a visitation, say sorry for your loss, and then immediately get out of there. They'll remember it, but you also don't force someone to stand up, particularly if it is a small church.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 7:19 pm to OMLandshark
Even as a Christian I would never say that to someone...even if I knew they has strong Christian beliefs.
It's insulting to most anyone really. Especially if the death is sudden and the person is young.
I think people just desperately want to say something comforting in those times.
It's insulting to most anyone really. Especially if the death is sudden and the person is young.
I think people just desperately want to say something comforting in those times.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 7:22 pm to OMLandshark
quote:
They'll remember it, but you also don't force someone to stand up, particularly if it is a small church.
If someone stands, I'm sure the family doesn't and shouldn't care. They have enough going on, not throwing a cocktail party.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 7:53 pm to OMLandshark
I hate, "He/She is in a better place."
Posted on 4/8/14 at 7:54 pm to LT
quote:
not throwing a cocktail party.
That waits until after the funeral
Posted on 4/8/14 at 8:34 pm to lsunurse
quote:
Yes. Very, very sad situation. They were with her ex's parents and his pregnant sister coming home from a day trip to Tucson. My coworker was working that weekend(her ex's weekend to have the kids...yet he pawned them off on his parents). She was told the news at work.
wow this was tough to read. 4 children and 2 women, with the only man having to live to be the witness.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 8:38 pm to lsunurse
quote:
Funeral. Visitation just seems more for those closer to the deceased imo.
:kige:
Posted on 4/8/14 at 8:57 pm to VABuckeye
quote:
You don't go. Send flowers or a donation if that is their preference.
This. Plus a handwritten note of condolence sent via USPS.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 9:07 pm to CAT
quote:
I may have met her dad once but certainly didn't know him.
You go to offer solace and respect to the survivors. It doesn't matter at all if you knew the deceased. Go to the visitation (a term I despise). That would be appropriate for an employee. The funeral is typically for close friends and family.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 9:10 pm to Swampeast
There is no right or wrong answer to this and I've attended many, many funerals and wakes since I was a young child. It's whatever time you can fit in and it is simply paying your respects to the deceased and the family. And as someone who has buried numerous family members all is thankful and appreciated. Even the "it's gods plan." if that is all someone can get out well that is fine as well. It's a tough situation for everyone. Just pay your respects in anyway you can. Your colleague deserves it.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 9:21 pm to KosmoCramer
quote:
I think making small talk at a wake is very poor form.
You don't make small talk at a wake. You walk in, find your employee, and say how sorry you are about their loss. It's called expressing your condolences. She'll say thank you for coming and you reply with an offer to accommodate her work schedule to help deal with the loss. By that time someone else will walk in who needs her attention and you bow out and leave five minutes later unless you know other people there and want to visit with them.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 9:26 pm to lsunurse
quote:
Funeral. Visitation just seems more for those closer to the deceased imo.
That is 100% the opposite of what is customary.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 9:34 pm to PhiTiger1764
quote:
Is this a regional thing?
Must be. The order of events where I come from in middle Tennessee is visitation -> funeral/burial -> wake, and you attend in that order based on closeness. If you don't know the deceased but you know a family member, then you go to the visitation. If you know the deceased, then you go to the funeral. Burial is a little more intimate. Following the burial is the wake. Usually the same crowd you had at the burial.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 9:35 pm to StripedSaint
StripedSaint wrote:
It's always true if the funeral is in Jackson, Mississippi.
Go to the wake, find your work cohort and say "Sorry for your loss." and truly ask "Is there anything I (we) can do for you?" (The answer is always "No"), and then follow it up with a "Please call me (us) if you can think of anything. Take care." [Hug] and get the heck out.
If ya didn't know the deceased, you don't belong at the last official service (the funeral) for them.
That's my take.
quote:
I hate, "He/She is in a better place."
It's always true if the funeral is in Jackson, Mississippi.
Go to the wake, find your work cohort and say "Sorry for your loss." and truly ask "Is there anything I (we) can do for you?" (The answer is always "No"), and then follow it up with a "Please call me (us) if you can think of anything. Take care." [Hug] and get the heck out.
If ya didn't know the deceased, you don't belong at the last official service (the funeral) for them.
That's my take.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 9:39 pm to KosmoCramer
Why are you people saying this? The visitation is the more casual affair. Funeral is for those closer to the deceased. You don't sit through a fricking funeral for someone you barely know. You walk through visitation, shake the employees hand and GTFO.
This post was edited on 4/8/14 at 9:42 pm
Posted on 4/8/14 at 9:39 pm to lsunurse
quote:
when she found out that the children were all gone...she basically let go and died shortly after that.
It's not surprising when lay people believe things like that, but I'm pretty surprised a nurse would. Maybe it's a good thing you still do...
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