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Message
TulaneLSU's Top 10 non-food signs of Kenner's Williams Boulevard
Posted on 2/4/20 at 10:14 pm
Posted on 2/4/20 at 10:14 pm
Dear Friends,
I promised you last week this list. Its companion TulaneLSU's Top 10 food signs of Kenner's Williams Boulevard is more interesting in my opinion. But read and decide for yourself. Its introduction suffices for an introduction to this list, as it is the same street.
TulaneLSU's Top 10 non-food signs of Kenner's Williams Boulevard
10. Mike’s Train 20th St
Mike’s Train Shop opened in 1983 at this location on 20th St, just west of Williams. In 1988 its business grew, so it took shop across the street just north of the O’Reilly’s Auto Parts, who has a great jingle of an advertisement in the building now housing The Source Men’s Wear. The toy train business has seen a slump with kids nowadays caring more about Baby Shark, Buzz Lightyear, and Blume dolls than Blue Comets. The business has contracted back to its original location on 20th Street. Technically, this sign isn’t on Williams, but it is visible from the great dame of Kenner boulevards, right behind the recently shuttered Q Bana So Grill.
I never was one for trains. They’re a bit childish to me and I have more important outlets for my creativity and time. For some children, though, building train sets and doing something with their hands would do them some good.
9. Sports Unlimited lights
While technically not a sign, these lights are among the most interesting pieces of street art in the NOLA Metro. This resplendent, arachnid light fixture has lighted this parking lot for four decades. It has seen a number of tenants, from Gordon’s of Kenner to Eckert’s Drugs to the inextinguishable Perrett’s military supply shop to the all-time greatest sporting goods store, Sports Unlimited. I wish I could find a sign for Sports Unlimited.
Sports Unlimited was the pinnacle of 1990 New Orleans Metro shopping, opening that year. There are not enough superlatives to describe its sporting goods prowess. It introduced the city to Rollerblades. Its fishing department put to shame Puglia’s and Professional downtown. Those who frequented it might remember Myron. I’m not sure when SU closed, but the last time I made a purchase was around 1999 when I got my first pair of Adidas for indoor volleyball.
8. Our Lady of Perpetual Help
The sign isn’t particularly interesting, which is a shame. OLPH has existed near this location since 1869, making it the oldest surviving church on the East Bank of Jefferson Parish. For reference, St. Agnes on Jefferson Highway didn’t open until 1931. St. Joseph’s Catholic in Gretna is the oldest in the parish, begun in 1857.
As many of you know, I have begun practicing wood working. Once I become proficient, I would be honored to make a huge wooden sign for OLPH to replace this. I would also run some wires for lighting it, if needed. I spent much of last weekend walking the batture new Rivertown collecting flotsam and driftwood to help in this endeavor.
7. Humbug
Humbug is the oldest costume shop in the NOLA Metro, having opened in 1972. Located next door to Messina’s, it too is a landmark and a staple of Williams Blvd. I dressed up and trick or treated every year until my sophomore year in high school. Some neighbors stopped giving me candy after I turned 13 though. Almost every costume I ever purchased I got from Humbug.
As I don’t trick or treat or costume any longer, I do not know how good Humbug is. But in the 90s, it was the place for the best costumes. It also sold high fashion like Z Cavaricci pants, which one of my friends wore in elementary school. I thought he looked like a clown. Anyway, he bought his pants here.
6. Nicoll’s
Mike Nicoll’s started his New Orleans limousine empire around 1988 with just two vehicles: his ‘88 Lincoln Continental stretched and 1957 Rolls Royce Silver Cloud. The family’s fleet is now enormous and there are two locations. They used to park their excess cars at one of their homes on Power Blvd I believe. It probably was quite annoying to their neighbors.
Although I much prefer the comfort and safety of the streetcar, I have been known to ride in the back of a Nicoll’s limo. I remember in either my junior or senior year of high school being asked to a dance. I didn’t want to go because dancing isn’t virtuous nor fun for me. But she begged me and started crying. I felt a regrettable wave of pity on her and relented to her pathetic entreaties. She paid for everything: my meal, my tux, which I believe was from Perlis, pictures from the dance, which I never received, and the limo. She even paid for the corsage she wore.
During the dance I only danced with her for one song, and it was at a considerable distance so that the only parts that touched were our hands, just as Mother taught me. The rest of the night I was reading my 1928 Book of Common Prayer, without which one should never leave home. When we got back in the Nicoll’s limo to bring me home, she jumped on me and pressed her lips against mine. My lips remained sealed. Although her tongue tried to force its way into my mouth, she gained no entrance. I removed my seatbelt and changed seats. I told her that if she tried anything like that again, I would call 911 on the mobile phone to which we had access. I also never spoke to her again. I am still repulsed thinking about that invasion into the sanctity of my personal space and purity.
I promised you last week this list. Its companion TulaneLSU's Top 10 food signs of Kenner's Williams Boulevard is more interesting in my opinion. But read and decide for yourself. Its introduction suffices for an introduction to this list, as it is the same street.
TulaneLSU's Top 10 non-food signs of Kenner's Williams Boulevard
10. Mike’s Train 20th St
Mike’s Train Shop opened in 1983 at this location on 20th St, just west of Williams. In 1988 its business grew, so it took shop across the street just north of the O’Reilly’s Auto Parts, who has a great jingle of an advertisement in the building now housing The Source Men’s Wear. The toy train business has seen a slump with kids nowadays caring more about Baby Shark, Buzz Lightyear, and Blume dolls than Blue Comets. The business has contracted back to its original location on 20th Street. Technically, this sign isn’t on Williams, but it is visible from the great dame of Kenner boulevards, right behind the recently shuttered Q Bana So Grill.
I never was one for trains. They’re a bit childish to me and I have more important outlets for my creativity and time. For some children, though, building train sets and doing something with their hands would do them some good.
9. Sports Unlimited lights
While technically not a sign, these lights are among the most interesting pieces of street art in the NOLA Metro. This resplendent, arachnid light fixture has lighted this parking lot for four decades. It has seen a number of tenants, from Gordon’s of Kenner to Eckert’s Drugs to the inextinguishable Perrett’s military supply shop to the all-time greatest sporting goods store, Sports Unlimited. I wish I could find a sign for Sports Unlimited.
Sports Unlimited was the pinnacle of 1990 New Orleans Metro shopping, opening that year. There are not enough superlatives to describe its sporting goods prowess. It introduced the city to Rollerblades. Its fishing department put to shame Puglia’s and Professional downtown. Those who frequented it might remember Myron. I’m not sure when SU closed, but the last time I made a purchase was around 1999 when I got my first pair of Adidas for indoor volleyball.
8. Our Lady of Perpetual Help
The sign isn’t particularly interesting, which is a shame. OLPH has existed near this location since 1869, making it the oldest surviving church on the East Bank of Jefferson Parish. For reference, St. Agnes on Jefferson Highway didn’t open until 1931. St. Joseph’s Catholic in Gretna is the oldest in the parish, begun in 1857.
As many of you know, I have begun practicing wood working. Once I become proficient, I would be honored to make a huge wooden sign for OLPH to replace this. I would also run some wires for lighting it, if needed. I spent much of last weekend walking the batture new Rivertown collecting flotsam and driftwood to help in this endeavor.
7. Humbug
Humbug is the oldest costume shop in the NOLA Metro, having opened in 1972. Located next door to Messina’s, it too is a landmark and a staple of Williams Blvd. I dressed up and trick or treated every year until my sophomore year in high school. Some neighbors stopped giving me candy after I turned 13 though. Almost every costume I ever purchased I got from Humbug.
As I don’t trick or treat or costume any longer, I do not know how good Humbug is. But in the 90s, it was the place for the best costumes. It also sold high fashion like Z Cavaricci pants, which one of my friends wore in elementary school. I thought he looked like a clown. Anyway, he bought his pants here.
6. Nicoll’s
Mike Nicoll’s started his New Orleans limousine empire around 1988 with just two vehicles: his ‘88 Lincoln Continental stretched and 1957 Rolls Royce Silver Cloud. The family’s fleet is now enormous and there are two locations. They used to park their excess cars at one of their homes on Power Blvd I believe. It probably was quite annoying to their neighbors.
Although I much prefer the comfort and safety of the streetcar, I have been known to ride in the back of a Nicoll’s limo. I remember in either my junior or senior year of high school being asked to a dance. I didn’t want to go because dancing isn’t virtuous nor fun for me. But she begged me and started crying. I felt a regrettable wave of pity on her and relented to her pathetic entreaties. She paid for everything: my meal, my tux, which I believe was from Perlis, pictures from the dance, which I never received, and the limo. She even paid for the corsage she wore.
During the dance I only danced with her for one song, and it was at a considerable distance so that the only parts that touched were our hands, just as Mother taught me. The rest of the night I was reading my 1928 Book of Common Prayer, without which one should never leave home. When we got back in the Nicoll’s limo to bring me home, she jumped on me and pressed her lips against mine. My lips remained sealed. Although her tongue tried to force its way into my mouth, she gained no entrance. I removed my seatbelt and changed seats. I told her that if she tried anything like that again, I would call 911 on the mobile phone to which we had access. I also never spoke to her again. I am still repulsed thinking about that invasion into the sanctity of my personal space and purity.
This post was edited on 2/4/20 at 10:16 pm
2
Posted on 2/4/20 at 10:14 pm to TulaneLSU
5. Louisiana Wildlife and Fisheries Museum
The 1980s were truly the heydays of Kenner. The city’s Rivertown was able to steal from the French Quarter the Louisiana Wildlife and Fisheries Museum. It opened here in 1983 and thrived for the next 10-15 years as did the other museums of Rivertown. But when funding from the city and parish dried up, Rivertown began a rapid collapse. By 2009, in the post-Katrina world where people were more interested in returning to the historic New Orleans locations, the museum closed its doors to become a very poorly used banquet and reception hall.
4. First Baptist Church
Does anyone know when First Baptist of Kenner opened? I cannot seem to find it anywhere. I hate how churches today don’t seem to bother with their own histories. It’s all about being trendy and often with detaching itself from history. What has happened to much of Protestantism over the last 15 years is abominable. They’ve stripped history, even names of church, and replaced them with kitschy, trendy names like Praise, Celebration, and Movement. The OT hates children named Harper and Logan and all the travel ball shenanigans that go with them. These new church names come from that same vein.
I went to a wedding here back in the late 1990s. It was a neighbor’s daughter. They were a lovely family. I can remember the service, which I didn’t find all that inspiring. There was no organ music. The sanctuary was cavernous, largely empty, and in an awkward shape. There was a swimming pool at the top of the sanctuary, where I assume they baptize only teenagers and older. The sanctuary was also carpeted, guaranteeing terrible acoustics.
The one positive I take from that memory, aside from two people joining in holy matrimony, was the minister, which I believe Baptists prefer to call pastors. His name was a Dr. McKeever, Joe or Jim. I cannot remember his first name. He was an expert comic artist and within minutes he had drawn a detailed caricature of me. Better than most Jackson Square cartoonists, Dr. McKeever harkened to the works of Honore’ Daumier. I still have that drawing in my room today.
3. Pontchartrain Center
There’s no mistaking the time period in which this sign was erected: 1991, the same year the Pontchartrain Center, at the head of Williams, was opened. Its inspiration? Likely the Strayas of St. Charles Ave and Veterans Blvd. Its distinct teal and pink complement the nuevo Arts Deco design. The wave-triangle logo gleams the cube as well as Christian Slater ever could.
The Pontchartrain Center’s biggest event was probably the 1998 UFC tournament, which was a sellout, full of some of the trashiest people in Kenner. Seriously, who watches this filth? UFC is for people who spend their time doing drugs and watching pornography. It’s nothing more than violent pornography for men aren’t fooling anyone with their repressed homosexual fantasies.
It has also hosted baseball card shows, graduations, and gun shows. I remember those dumb commercials with the smutty women with a pump shotgun who said, “Sure as shooting, I’ll see you there.” What does that even mean and how did it embed itself in my memory? Probably there were many cross contaminents from the UFC tournament shopping these gun shows.
I recall a haunted house here in the early 1990s. Our youth group did a large tour of the haunted houses throughout the city and this was one we attended only one year. It was terrible. The pathway was marked by white sheets hung on wires. It was bright inside and none of the haunted had good costumes. I remember it only because it was so bad.
2. Saints Hall of Fame Museum stained glass door window
First concocted within the depilated dome of disgraced former mayor and parish president, Aaron Broussard in 1984, it opened with much fanfare in 1988. It had a nearly two decade run in this beautiful building before it joined the post-Katrina suburban to urban wave and found a home in the Superdome in 2007.
If you grew up in the NOLA Metro in the 90s, you probably took at least one field trip to the Saints Museum. Looking back, that’s pretty absurd, isn’t it? What does professional sports have to do with a well rounded education? Even in middle school I thought it made no sense when Teacher brought us here. We also went to the adjacent planetarium, but perhaps that was the actual purpose of the trip.
I went with a girl to the planetarium for a homecoming or some dance maybe around 2000. She was a sophomore at Mount Carmel. She tried to kiss me during the show. I, of course, rejected her advances, saving my lips for my Beloved.
1. Williams Blvd Baptist Church
Williams Blvd Baptist Church opened around 1960. I have no good stories from this church, but it seems to be doing alright today, as the parking lot on a Saturday was pretty full. The sign has a little of everything: neon, Spanish, changeable letters, and a glorious cross, lifted high pointing us to the truth of the Resurrection. Our heavenly reward comes through the grace of the cross and is not earned through acts, even acts of love, as a movie like Heavenly Kid might suggest. We are on our way Uptown only through the death and resurrection of Christ, symbolized in this wondrous, pure cross.
Friends, I hope your weeks are full of love, gratitude and virtue.
Faith, Hope, and Love,
TulaneLSU
The 1980s were truly the heydays of Kenner. The city’s Rivertown was able to steal from the French Quarter the Louisiana Wildlife and Fisheries Museum. It opened here in 1983 and thrived for the next 10-15 years as did the other museums of Rivertown. But when funding from the city and parish dried up, Rivertown began a rapid collapse. By 2009, in the post-Katrina world where people were more interested in returning to the historic New Orleans locations, the museum closed its doors to become a very poorly used banquet and reception hall.
4. First Baptist Church
Does anyone know when First Baptist of Kenner opened? I cannot seem to find it anywhere. I hate how churches today don’t seem to bother with their own histories. It’s all about being trendy and often with detaching itself from history. What has happened to much of Protestantism over the last 15 years is abominable. They’ve stripped history, even names of church, and replaced them with kitschy, trendy names like Praise, Celebration, and Movement. The OT hates children named Harper and Logan and all the travel ball shenanigans that go with them. These new church names come from that same vein.
I went to a wedding here back in the late 1990s. It was a neighbor’s daughter. They were a lovely family. I can remember the service, which I didn’t find all that inspiring. There was no organ music. The sanctuary was cavernous, largely empty, and in an awkward shape. There was a swimming pool at the top of the sanctuary, where I assume they baptize only teenagers and older. The sanctuary was also carpeted, guaranteeing terrible acoustics.
The one positive I take from that memory, aside from two people joining in holy matrimony, was the minister, which I believe Baptists prefer to call pastors. His name was a Dr. McKeever, Joe or Jim. I cannot remember his first name. He was an expert comic artist and within minutes he had drawn a detailed caricature of me. Better than most Jackson Square cartoonists, Dr. McKeever harkened to the works of Honore’ Daumier. I still have that drawing in my room today.
3. Pontchartrain Center
There’s no mistaking the time period in which this sign was erected: 1991, the same year the Pontchartrain Center, at the head of Williams, was opened. Its inspiration? Likely the Strayas of St. Charles Ave and Veterans Blvd. Its distinct teal and pink complement the nuevo Arts Deco design. The wave-triangle logo gleams the cube as well as Christian Slater ever could.
The Pontchartrain Center’s biggest event was probably the 1998 UFC tournament, which was a sellout, full of some of the trashiest people in Kenner. Seriously, who watches this filth? UFC is for people who spend their time doing drugs and watching pornography. It’s nothing more than violent pornography for men aren’t fooling anyone with their repressed homosexual fantasies.
It has also hosted baseball card shows, graduations, and gun shows. I remember those dumb commercials with the smutty women with a pump shotgun who said, “Sure as shooting, I’ll see you there.” What does that even mean and how did it embed itself in my memory? Probably there were many cross contaminents from the UFC tournament shopping these gun shows.
I recall a haunted house here in the early 1990s. Our youth group did a large tour of the haunted houses throughout the city and this was one we attended only one year. It was terrible. The pathway was marked by white sheets hung on wires. It was bright inside and none of the haunted had good costumes. I remember it only because it was so bad.
2. Saints Hall of Fame Museum stained glass door window
First concocted within the depilated dome of disgraced former mayor and parish president, Aaron Broussard in 1984, it opened with much fanfare in 1988. It had a nearly two decade run in this beautiful building before it joined the post-Katrina suburban to urban wave and found a home in the Superdome in 2007.
If you grew up in the NOLA Metro in the 90s, you probably took at least one field trip to the Saints Museum. Looking back, that’s pretty absurd, isn’t it? What does professional sports have to do with a well rounded education? Even in middle school I thought it made no sense when Teacher brought us here. We also went to the adjacent planetarium, but perhaps that was the actual purpose of the trip.
I went with a girl to the planetarium for a homecoming or some dance maybe around 2000. She was a sophomore at Mount Carmel. She tried to kiss me during the show. I, of course, rejected her advances, saving my lips for my Beloved.
1. Williams Blvd Baptist Church
Williams Blvd Baptist Church opened around 1960. I have no good stories from this church, but it seems to be doing alright today, as the parking lot on a Saturday was pretty full. The sign has a little of everything: neon, Spanish, changeable letters, and a glorious cross, lifted high pointing us to the truth of the Resurrection. Our heavenly reward comes through the grace of the cross and is not earned through acts, even acts of love, as a movie like Heavenly Kid might suggest. We are on our way Uptown only through the death and resurrection of Christ, symbolized in this wondrous, pure cross.
Friends, I hope your weeks are full of love, gratitude and virtue.
Faith, Hope, and Love,
TulaneLSU
This post was edited on 2/4/20 at 10:19 pm
Posted on 2/4/20 at 10:15 pm to TulaneLSU
This post was edited on 2/4/20 at 10:16 pm
Posted on 2/4/20 at 10:16 pm to TulaneLSU
Honest question. How many hours a week do you spend thinking these threads up, driving around and taking these photos, and writing all of that? Your dedication is impressive and disturbing all at the same time.
This post was edited on 2/4/20 at 10:19 pm
Posted on 2/4/20 at 10:16 pm to TulaneLSU
Posted on 2/4/20 at 10:17 pm to TulaneLSU
You’re doing a lot of these. And frankly, I think your quality has deteriorated. The parking lot lights are cool, but the rest of them just seem to be signs.
This post was edited on 2/4/20 at 10:20 pm
Posted on 2/4/20 at 10:23 pm to TulaneLSU
Jesús frick.
Posted on 2/4/20 at 10:25 pm to alajones
quote:
The parking lot lights are cool, but the rest of them just seem to be signs.
Posted on 2/4/20 at 10:26 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
. Sports Unlimited lights
Wow, did you nail all that shite or what?
I used to have some really close friends who worked at Perrett's Army-Navy back in the early to mid 90's. They used to talk about some weird motherfrickers that slinked in and out of that store.
This post was edited on 2/4/20 at 10:28 pm
Posted on 2/4/20 at 10:28 pm to TulaneLSU
Your dance story made me laugh out loud.
Well done, as always.
Well done, as always.
Posted on 2/4/20 at 10:28 pm to AbitaFan08
quote:
How many hours a week do you spend thinking these threads up, driving around and taking these photos, and writing all of that?
he has to do something to fill time between the stalking and serial killing
Posted on 2/4/20 at 10:29 pm to TulaneLSU
I think you should do TulaneLSU’s top 10 public shitters. Often time I’m out and about running errands when the urge to pinch a loaf hits me. It would be great to know where some quality public toilets are.
Posted on 2/4/20 at 10:33 pm to Legion of Doom
Friend,
The best toilets open to the public in the French Quarter are in The Historic New Orleans Collection. These are primo toilets with real paper towels of a thickness reserved usually for 5 star hotels. Delicious potpourri ensures that even the most uncouth toilet comrades will not pollute your airspace.
Truly,
TulaneLSU
The best toilets open to the public in the French Quarter are in The Historic New Orleans Collection. These are primo toilets with real paper towels of a thickness reserved usually for 5 star hotels. Delicious potpourri ensures that even the most uncouth toilet comrades will not pollute your airspace.
Truly,
TulaneLSU
Posted on 2/4/20 at 10:34 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
Although I much prefer the comfort and safety of the streetcar,
Funny you say
The uptown street car line was shutdown yesterday afternoon temporarily after one of the cars caught fire.
This post was edited on 2/4/20 at 10:38 pm
Posted on 2/4/20 at 10:38 pm to TulaneLSU
This thread is legit and your hard work is appreciated.
Posted on 2/4/20 at 10:40 pm to TulaneLSU
quote:
Delicious potpourri ensures that even the most uncouth toilet comrades will not pollute your airspace.
Posted on 2/4/20 at 10:40 pm to TulaneLSU
Just want to say thank you to TulaneLSU for bringing awareness to our great little town in Kenner. I truly believe these articles and reviews will bring in new tourist to visit our great city and boost our economy. God bless you brah
Posted on 2/5/20 at 12:17 am to TulaneLSU
quote:Not enough Spanish on your list.
Kenner's Williams Boulevard
Posted on 2/5/20 at 12:23 am to TulaneLSU
And some people still don't see Kenna as a tourist destination? Can't please everyone. 
Posted on 2/5/20 at 12:30 am to TulaneLSU
quote:
The OT hates children named Harper and Logan and all the travel ball shenanigans that go with them. These new church names come from that same vein.
Most perceptive, Good Sir.
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