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TulaneLSU
TBD Fan
Member since Aug 2003
Member since Dec 2007
12497 posts

TulaneLSU's Top 10 lessons learned from Sam's and Walmart this morning
Dear Friends,

Our closest of friends, stout, gave us a helpful and thorough update from Sam's yesterday. I feel it would be beneficial to get a daily update, so here I am to do my part.

One thing this pandemic and public reaction has accomplished is delaying the maiden voyage of TulaneLSU's Poorboy Tours of New Orleans. Some of you will be a little upset I did not announce it, but today was supposed to be the first tour. It was, what those in the food industry say, a soft opening. Only family friends were invited. However, I received news that the city would not allow the tour to roll. This public edict was a blessing in disguise, for when I attempted to start the F-350 tour van, which was supposed to be fixed, it backfired, began leaking oil, smoking, and ultimately shut off with a loud sound of screeching metal. I fear it will be some time before our vehicle is running again. Updates will be posted as they occur.

Instead, with Mother's Mercedes she loaned me so I could make her groceries, I headed to two of my favorite public spaces: Sam's and Walmart. Here are 10 lessons from 3/13/2020.

10. Masks and gloves

Image: https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49655277056_f5e6104123_k.jpg


Approximately 3-5% of shoppers were wearing surgical masks. I have seen this before only in airports, and almost always the people who wore them were Asian. Today I saw a family of obese Americans who looked of European origin wearing them. I also saw one woman who was wearing plastic gloves. Has anyone ever done a randomized double blind controlled trial to show any efficacy of wearing gloves? We have skin to protect us. A plastic layer on top your skin won't help unless you have open wounds on your hands. Virus will attach to the latex or nylon. You touch your face with gloves and infection may occur.

9. Now is the time to buy Mardi Gras decorations

Image: https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49655555632_a7707ed4da_k.jpg


While people focus on toilet paper, bleach, water, and canned foods, the smart investor focuses on the future. Airlines, cruise lines, and car company stock are discounted right now. But none compares to the Mardi Gras goods discount at 75-90% off now. I loaded up two baskets with Mardi Gras goods. 11 months from now, you'll find me pushing a wooden cart filled with ornaments, masks, and these money guns. To prime the crowds, I'm going to shoot real money. Price for these was just $2. I'll sell them for at least $20.

8. The crowds are not buying seafood

Image: https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49655276556_4d622e45e0_k.jpg


The frozen tilapia pile at Sam's is nearly untouched. A little butter, garlic, and dill, perhaps even some cream, will combine with this fillet for one of the best fish dishes in New Orleans.

7. Dental health is being overlooked

Image: https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49654739188_29a98cec87_k.jpg


The aisles with hand cleaners were nearly empty. Toothpaste is nearly untouched. Don't overlook the importance of a clean mouth, my friends. Toothpaste can also be used to clean your headlights, and as I believe Jon Ham taught us, to whiten your dirty kicks.

6. Bottled water is selling out

Image: https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49596553858_9450386f60_k.jpg


Give a man a fish, and you feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you feed him for a lifetime. I take this axiom and apply it to water. Bottled water is a band aid. A water cistern is ever giving. I have filled up this tank with S&WB water. If our water plants go down, once that water is gone, I can collect from the heavens.

Every person who passed me in the aisles I closely monitored, and so too did I closely examine their purchases. Bottled water, paper products, canned vegetables, Clorox items, and jelly beans are the top five sellers in my observations. None were looking really long term. None looked to become self sufficient. If people were truly rational, and they actually believed our economy and society are about to collapse, they would be purchasing items to become self sufficient, such as purchasing a cistern, seeds, and tools.



TulaneLSU
TBD Fan
Member since Aug 2003
Member since Dec 2007
12497 posts

re: TulaneLSU's Top 10 lessons learned from Sam's and Walmart this morning
5. Walmart has a great vegetable selection

Image: https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49654739053_463d741c93_k.jpg


Cabbage is on sale for St. Patrick's Day. Speaking of which, due to all the parade cancellations, there is going to be a St. Patrick's paraphernalia sale for the ages next week. Almost no green stuff has sold. Anyway, the greens on the produce section are plentiful. I filled the fridge with broccoli, greens, cabbage, and cauliflower. I also took a huge leek. That will help make a nice pot of TulaneLSU's Christmas chestnut soup.

4. Large packages of rice are selling out

Image: https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49654738798_b4ee7ae5a8_k.jpg


I got the last 25 pound box of rice. There were a few 50 lb bags of Jasmine rice left this morning, but they could be gone. The 25 pounds only cost $10. My thinking is that, in the tiny chance that the food chain is disrupted and the economy brought to its knees, this rice could last me a couple months. A hedge for just $10 for survival is worth it.

3. Le Sueur peas will be gold if food becomes currency

Image: https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49655555952_c2b583307f_k.jpg


Few people are stocking up on the best of all canned foods. Should social collapse occur our currency will be food, and Le Sueurs will be the Benjamin Franklins of our currency. I still am optimistic this will pass in a few weeks or months, but I am nonetheless building a new Fort Knox here.

2. The best time to shop at Walmart is before 7 AM. The best time to shop at Sam's is 9 AM.

Image: https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49597050631_20f077fe21_k.jpg


I have watched the crowds closely these last few weeks. Walmart seems to get very busy after 8:30 AM. If you get there before 8, you should avoid the large crowds. As you know, crowds only help spread pathogens at times of epi and pandemics. For your health, convenience, and stress level, get to Walmart early.

If you don't have a Sam's Plus Membership, previously known as a Sam's Business Membership, consider getting one. It gives you VIP access at 8 while regular members have to wait until 10. These early hours are always best at Sam's, as it is usually far less crowded, the crowds generally more polite, and you have first choice of meats and produce.

Today, the crowds were fierce at 8. The really dramatic and anxious were queuing. When the doors opened, they acted like it was Black Friday and New Year's morning at Dillard's. Once these maniacs filled their multiple baskets and U-Haul trailers with enough goods for a year, the traffic calmed. By 9 AM, Sam's was quiet and the shopper gentile and friendly. However, by 10, the masses had started gathering. It is now a madhouse again.

Timing of your shopping is imperative to health and time efficiency. You must plan your shopping at the appropriate times.

1. Prayer will get us through any crisis

Image: https://live.staticflickr.com/65535/49655277146_f266a8a114_k.jpg


My family never used candles to pray. Mother always said that was for the Romans, not our family. However, I have recently found myself lighting candles in prayer as I sit and pray for my family, the world, and each and every one of you, my friends.

In this complex, technological, numerical world, we often think we are so clever and advanced. But it is at times of crisis we realize just how insignificant all our social advances are. We have tamed this world in many way, through levees, vaccines, and air conditioning. But this is a fallen world and we will never have dominion over it all.

Some skeptics say prayer is useless and a defect in the minds of people who hope to control what they cannot control. I see prayer as far more than that: an action whereby I communicate love to people without them hearing or seeing it. Prayer grounds me and connects me to an invisible community. It allows me to express gratitude for all this grace I know I do not deserve. Prayer to me is more vital than air. I love to pray.

Faith, Hope, and Love,
TulaneLSU
This post was edited on 3/13 at 12:38 pm


LSU Tigershark
South Alabama Fan
10,000 posts
Member since Dec 2007
10144 posts

re: TulaneLSU's Top 10 lessons learned from Sam's and Walmart this morning
Thank you


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131
jcole4lsu
New Orleans Saints Fan
The Kwisatz Haderach
Member since Nov 2007
30860 posts

re: TulaneLSU's Top 10 lessons learned from Sam's and Walmart this morning
upvoting the effort required for this shipost


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Ron Popeil
LSU Fan
Fairgrounds
Member since Nov 2018
557 posts

re: TulaneLSU's Top 10 lessons learned from Sam's and Walmart this morning
quote:

The frozen tilapia pile.......for one of the best fish dishes in New Orleans.

You lost me as a fan of your posts. You cannot be trusted anymore.


LoneStar23
USA Fan
USA
Member since Aug 2019
3362 posts
 Online 

re: TulaneLSU's Top 10 lessons learned from Sam's and Walmart this morning
shopping at Walmart in the morning is the best


ptra
LSU Fan
Member since Nov 2006
1258 posts

re: TulaneLSU's Top 10 lessons learned from Sam's and Walmart this morning
Tilapia......from China


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BuckyCheese
Wisconsin Fan
Member since Jan 2015
16933 posts

re: TulaneLSU's Top 10 lessons learned from Sam's and Walmart this morning
Tilabia sucks


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50
NIH
LA-Lafayette Fan
Member since Aug 2008
104269 posts

re: TulaneLSU's Top 10 lessons learned from Sam's and Walmart this morning
Incredible content, friend.

Yours,

NIH


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El Mattadorr
Mississippi St. Fan
Member since Mar 2019
1993 posts

re: TulaneLSU's Top 10 lessons learned from Sam's and Walmart this morning
What's with the retro Doritos logo?


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20
UnitedFruitCompany
Stanford Fan
Bay Area
Member since Nov 2018
1951 posts

re: TulaneLSU's Top 10 lessons learned from Sam's and Walmart this morning
You forgot the biggest one.

For the love of god, use Scan and Go. Allows you to scan items as you shop and then when you are done pay for them with your cc up to $750.00. You can bypass the checkout and your phone produces a bar code that the friendly receipt checker uses to, umm, let you go from the store. .

Bonus: you can laugh at all the idiots waiting in checkout lines that extend all the way to the back of the store.


atrain5
New Orleans Saints Fan
Baton Rouge Correctional Facility
Member since Sep 2017
1750 posts

re: TulaneLSU's Top 10 lessons learned from Sam's and Walmart this morning
thanks for the blessings


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22
dukke v
LSU Fan
PLUTO
Member since Jul 2006
182643 posts

re: TulaneLSU's Top 10 lessons learned from Sam's and Walmart this morning
Somebody has alot if time on their hands....


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TulaneLSU
TBD Fan
Member since Aug 2003
Member since Dec 2007
12497 posts

re: TulaneLSU's Top 10 lessons learned from Sam's and Walmart this morning
Friend,

If you check out around 9:15, there is no line. You could call me old fashioned, but I enjoy going through the checkout line and talking with the cashier. I do not have much interaction with people in real life, so do not wish to eliminate my interaction with the cashier. In coming years, the scanner will probably be forced on all of us. Until that time, though, you will find me carrying on with the ladies, and they are always ladies at Sam's, discussing the best deals in store and what produce is peaking currently. Thank you for your suggestion.

Sincerely,
TulaneLSU


13SaintTiger
Harvard Fan
Isle of Capri
Member since Sep 2011
17959 posts
 Online 

re: TulaneLSU's Top 10 lessons learned from Sam's and Walmart this morning
quote:

Today I saw a family of obese Americans who looked of European origin wearing them.


You are such a natural


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80
poppa1254
US Army Fan
Moody, AL
Member since Jan 2019
265 posts

re: TulaneLSU's Top 10 lessons learned from Sam's and Walmart this morning
quote:

I also took a huge leek.
Feel better?


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60
Kyrie Eleison
LSU Fan
Waco, Texas
Member since Jul 2012
1354 posts

re: TulaneLSU's Top 10 lessons learned from Sam's and Walmart this morning


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91
LSUBFA83
LSU Fan
Member since May 2012
1916 posts

re: TulaneLSU's Top 10 lessons learned from Sam's and Walmart this morning
quote:

 I also took a huge leek.


Right there in the produce aisle?


dukke v
LSU Fan
PLUTO
Member since Jul 2006
182643 posts

re: TulaneLSU's Top 10 lessons learned from Sam's and Walmart this morning
STFU.......


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011
Ed Osteen
New Orleans Saints Fan
504
Member since Oct 2007
50821 posts

re: TulaneLSU's Top 10 lessons learned from Sam's and Walmart this morning
you're my hero


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