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re: .
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:18 am to TexasTiger08
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:18 am to TexasTiger08
Couple in our Parish we are friends with went through retrouvaille and they have nothing but praise for the program. It completely saved their marriage. They weren't even Catholic but have since been confirmed.
I'll pray to Saint Joseph in your name
I'll pray to Saint Joseph in your name
0
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:18 am to TexasTiger08
quote:
I guess I’m just not what she wants?
From experience:
Once one person gets to the point of expressing this feeling to the other person then there is no turning around, even if that person wants to.
This post was edited on 6/15/23 at 10:20 am
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:19 am to Bluefin
quote:
It's tough, man. Sorry to hear that. I think it will make you feel better if you post her pics.
I went through counseling myself and my therapist recommended it too and, to be honest, it may have been the only thing that got me through it.
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:20 am to TexasTiger08
quote:
We went to a wedding out of town. The night before I blacked out and missed the wedding.
My dude, you embarrassed her at a wedding, on top of apparently having a drinking problem for an extended period of time. The entire situation sucks, but counseling and you hitting a detox place are the bear minimum you need to do here.
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:20 am to TexasTiger08
Been through it as a kid. Easy on no one. Doesn’t look like you’re quite there yet so do what you need to do. Maybe therapy will help. Head up brother. 
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:20 am to Bert Macklin FBI
quote:
I'd imagine she has a laundry list of times that this guy blacked out and caused a scene and/or embarrassed her in front of people.
You’re probably right.
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:20 am to TexasTiger08
quote:
We went to a wedding out of town. The night before I blacked out and missed the wedding.
You're an alcoholic and it will ruin your life. Get help quickly if you truly love her. But at this point, she might be sick of your shite.
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:22 am to WildcatMike
quote:
Well, I would not be on this site seeking advice.
People say that a lot on here but sometimes it helps to talk. Even to internet strangers.
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:22 am to GreatLakesTiger24
quote:
quote:
So, he gets drunk a few times a year and she can't get over it? Sounds like she's the one with issues.
meh... i'm no prude but a grown man getting so drunk that he had to miss a wedding the next day is pretty pathetic
eta: and it's reasonable to assume it wasn't a happy and fun drunk
Yeah, just because these are the ones he admits to or where at least public doesn't mean these were the only episodes.
At the very least he probably embarrassed her (and himself) in front of others by blacking out and missing the wedding. Hard to hide the problem from others outside the marriage when things like this happen.
I divorced an alcoholic/addict because I finally stood up and drew a line and she crossed it. It was the right decision for me and our child.
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:22 am to KLSU
quote:
quote:I guess I’m just not what she wants?
From experience: Once one person gets to the point of expressing this feeling to the other person then there is no turning around, even if that person wants to.
I think as long as certain lines haven’t been crossed, like infidelity or significant deceit (these lines vary by person of course) then it can be saved if both people really want to. But gotta evolve and also let go of resentment.
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:24 am to TexasTiger08
quote:
We went to a wedding out of town. The night before I blacked out and missed the wedding.
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:24 am to TexasTiger08
Have been divorced 7 years now - divorced when our kids were young. It gets easier...much easier. The thing you have to remember is that she's on her own path and it doesn't have room for you. Sucks, yeah. But there isn't anything you can do about it. From here out treat it like a business decision, because that's exactly what it is.
Honestly, the biggest waste of time there is. If she's gone this far she has already checked out. This is her way of saying "I went and tried" and not feel guilty about it. That is the hardest pill to swallow.
Want the hard truth? That is highly unlikely. It might not have been physical, but mental is just as bad.
Hang in there, brother. Get out and better yourself. You'll find that you will be just fine.
quote:
Counseling for us is on the horizon.
Honestly, the biggest waste of time there is. If she's gone this far she has already checked out. This is her way of saying "I went and tried" and not feel guilty about it. That is the hardest pill to swallow.
quote:
We’ve been faithful to each other
Want the hard truth? That is highly unlikely. It might not have been physical, but mental is just as bad.
Hang in there, brother. Get out and better yourself. You'll find that you will be just fine.
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:24 am to Jcorye1
quote:
counseling and you hitting a detox place are the bear minimum you need to do here.
I don’t think involving large dangerous animals in the process will help anything although a Golden Retriever may help.
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:25 am to TexasTiger08
quote:
I had a bad drinking episode around Easter that weighed heavily upon her.
This is the opposite of Good Will Hunting.
“It’s your fault.”
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:25 am to KLSU
quote:
Once one person gets to the point of expressing this feeling to the other person then there is no turning around, even if that person wants to.
I did divorce work when I first started practicing. When a woman says she is done its over. The sexes process things differently but that means she has gone through her process and made a decision. AT the same point for men its like an anvil fell out of the sky and landed on their head, just didnt see it.
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:26 am to Havoc
quote:
Golden Retriever
Goldie's always help. Autocorrected to bear, but I thought it was funny and left it in.
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:27 am to Lakeboy7
quote:
When a woman says she is done its over.
It was over long before that. Years maybe.
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:28 am to TexasTiger08
quote:
I love her with everything I have. I’m just afraid I’ve failed
Haven't failed till you give up.
Change your diet.
Get to a gym.
Get some blood work done including hormone panel... especially if you're fat or carry a lot of extra weight in your midsection/manboobs.
Pick your head up.
Go to church. Find a priest. Make a confession. Get all that shite off your soul.
Get your sleep right. Get rid of the TV in the bedroom, get a window unit if needed, get off the internet. Working out will help you sleep. Clearing your conscience will help you sleep as well.
Start new.
Go to the marriage counselor. Listen to what they and your wife say.
Don't waller in self pity. It only promulgate the issue.
Foot in the ground and start new looking forward. The past can be left in the past, but only if you leave it.
You only fail when you stop trying.
Good luck.
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:28 am to BluegrassBelle
quote:Seconded. Also go into it with an open mind and willing to fix you to make you a better person, and better mate. Even if it the marriage doesn't work even after counseling, making yourself a better man will only be positive for your future.
Definitely do the couples counseling but also make sure you’re doing individual for yourself.
It doesn't always work out, and divorce, even if amicable is never easy. Start the journey of counseling ready to reflect inward and you will be a better man and partner for it. Whether it be to your current wife or not.
quote:Also seconded. If it was a passing "I cannot do this anymore with your drinking" then I may hold off for now on a consultation, but if it was "This isn't working out, I think we are headed for a divorce", then as Belle said CYA.
If you’ve had serious talks about divorce, it would be worth seeking a consultation with a lawyer just to CYA.
Posted on 6/15/23 at 10:28 am to Spaceman Spiff
(no message)
This post was edited on 7/12/23 at 9:31 am
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