The Allure of Aggressive Men

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PsychologyToday: A new study illuminates why women can find combativeness attractive.



A study out of Germany sheds light on why aggressive males can be so appealing. It all begins with the vexing process of mating. Women need to be particularly selective when it comes to choosing a mate. Aside from a man’s resources, his genetic gifts are decisive in the selection process. After all, in our ancestors' unpredictable environment, a hardy constitution went a long way in fulfilling evolution's ultimate aims:survival and reproduction.

Research has established that, generally speaking, women must choose between between two types of men: dads and cads. On the one hand, dads are typically more commitment-oriented, warm, faithful, and reliable. Yet they are usually less handsome, charismatic, and dominant than his caddish counterparts. On the other hand, cads are sexier, with their narrow eyes and strong jaws — but they also tend to be flashy and exploitatative of others. Even worse, these masculine men often embody the Dark Triad, a personality constellation that encompasses Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and narcissism. So, what in the world is appealing about these objectionable individuals? Quite simply, they possess high-quality genes that they will pass down to their future children.

In turn, the thinking goes, women will maximize their reproductive success by choosing a macho man as a short-term mate for his genes, and a less masculine man with a warmer personality for a long-term, invested partner.

However, ovulation can make the choice between dads and cads particularly challenging. Research has revealed that during ovulation, women show a weakness for masculine men with high-quality genes. Studies consistently show that fertile women prefer men who display macho facial features and social dominance. In other words, they like bad boys.

Consequently, and as expected, the women in this study preferred less aggressive men for long-term relationships.

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This is a not-so-subtle L for passive, agreeable "nice guys." What science is basically telling you is that your woman wants Chad to get her pregnant but she wants you to stick around and raise his children with your soft, tender, womanly features. We now live in a world where men are told to be soft, gentle and agreeable, and that anything else is an example of toxic masculinity. The truth is that biologically speaking, women aren't attracted to pushovers and soft arse men. Women weren't lining up to see Magic Mike because Matthew McConaughey was really sensitive and had a dad bod.

We have a lot of dudes out there who once had strong personalities but after years of marriage they've been reduced to submissive, defeated, chunked-up shells of what they once were. These are the dudes who now look at rubber sex dolls like they once looked at attractive women. Women are never truly going to respect a man they view as a soft pushover who couldn't get another piece of arse if his life depended on it.

I see my wife's friends talking to their husbands like servants, treating them like children, and it breaks my heart bros. Your boy Pecker wants something more for you. He says these things because he cares and because he knows you can do better.