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Started By
Message
re: Stupid shite your wife asks...
Posted on 8/16/20 at 7:38 am to bleedsgarnet
Posted on 8/16/20 at 7:38 am to bleedsgarnet
Is it in yet?
0
Posted on 8/16/20 at 7:38 am to thegreatboudini
quote:
Don’t forget we’re cutting up this Saturday for the LSU game with some friends coming into town.”
You said this sentence?
Posted on 8/16/20 at 7:40 am to bleedsgarnet
A few years ago we lived in a neighborhood near Azalea Lakes. It was a new neighborhood and there were a lot of empty lots. Every morning and evening, there would be geese grazing in the empty lots.
One evening they are grazing in one of the lots that bordered Azalea Lakes, there a tall wooden fence between the neighborhoods.
My wife asks me “Where do the geese go every night?”
I tell her they probably live on the lake in Azalea Lakes and point over the fence.
She gets a look on her fence and I knew what she was about to ask.
She asks,“How do they get over the fence?”
Without missing a beat and with a straight face, I answer, “They burrow under it!”
The look on her face was classic.
One evening they are grazing in one of the lots that bordered Azalea Lakes, there a tall wooden fence between the neighborhoods.
My wife asks me “Where do the geese go every night?”
I tell her they probably live on the lake in Azalea Lakes and point over the fence.
She gets a look on her fence and I knew what she was about to ask.
She asks,“How do they get over the fence?”
Without missing a beat and with a straight face, I answer, “They burrow under it!”
The look on her face was classic.
Posted on 8/16/20 at 7:52 am to bleedsgarnet
My wife says I never listen to her..........at least, I think that’s what she says........
Posted on 8/16/20 at 8:03 am to USMEagles
quote:If she’s watching LSU, that’s not stupid
How do they decide which one gets to be the quarterback?"
Posted on 8/16/20 at 8:05 am to bleedsgarnet
Some homos in another thread would classify
“frick me in the arse honey”
Into this thread as a stupid comment they hate to hear
“frick me in the arse honey”
Into this thread as a stupid comment they hate to hear
Posted on 8/16/20 at 8:10 am to bleedsgarnet
When she does a home project and she tells me she needs to borrow either my plus or my minus screwdriver. Doesn't matter how many times I correct her. Plus or minus. Drives me nuts.
Posted on 8/16/20 at 8:26 am to theantiquetiger
I was teaching my nephew to use a compass in the backyard and she says “well that makes no sense”
I said “what do you mean”
She said “you told him north was always this way and pointed north”
I said “yes that’s correct”
Then she turned her body west and pointed and said “well if I turn this way then north is this way?”
I had to teach her that north wasn’t the direction in front of her but a fixed position.
She’s a doctor.
Or any time I’m watching sports and she starts and sentence with “I just don’t understand why...”
God I hate that
Right after the Nola no call she hits me with “I just don’t understand why you guys are mad. Aren’t they suppose to tackle each other”
I just got up and walked out to the tv outside. I was about to lose it
I said “what do you mean”
She said “you told him north was always this way and pointed north”
I said “yes that’s correct”
Then she turned her body west and pointed and said “well if I turn this way then north is this way?”
I had to teach her that north wasn’t the direction in front of her but a fixed position.
She’s a doctor.
Or any time I’m watching sports and she starts and sentence with “I just don’t understand why...”
God I hate that
Right after the Nola no call she hits me with “I just don’t understand why you guys are mad. Aren’t they suppose to tackle each other”
I just got up and walked out to the tv outside. I was about to lose it
This post was edited on 8/16/20 at 8:29 am
Posted on 8/16/20 at 8:31 am to bleedsgarnet
“Don’t drink so fast.”
This post was edited on 8/16/20 at 8:33 am
Posted on 8/16/20 at 8:32 am to Solo Cam
quote:
I had to teach her that north wasn’t the direction in front of her but a fixed position.
I really think that women's sense of direction is not on the level of a man's.
At least the women I've been around.
Posted on 8/16/20 at 8:39 am to Solo Cam
quote:
I had to teach her that north wasn’t the direction in front of her but a fixed position.
She’s a doctor.
I would imagine there are plenty of grown men that can’t use a compass so I wouldn’t feel too badly. Did you explain magnetic declination to your wife?
This post was edited on 8/16/20 at 8:39 am
Posted on 8/16/20 at 8:45 am to bleedsgarnet
My favorite to date
Me. Don't forget at midnight time changes an hour ahead
Wife. No, thats no until tomorrow.
I thought at first she was jk. But was serious as dick cancer
Me. Don't forget at midnight time changes an hour ahead
Wife. No, thats no until tomorrow.
I thought at first she was jk. But was serious as dick cancer
Posted on 8/16/20 at 8:47 am to theantiquetiger
Our street is “ crosscreek” . My wife: wonder where they got the name crosscreek? Me: maybe because you drive across that huge creek coming into the neighborhood....
Wife: ooohhh, i never thought if that.
Of course this is a woman afraid of heights who was a flight attendant. I asked how she flew if she was afraid of heights? Her: well i don’t know i’m up in the air.... wtf
Wife: ooohhh, i never thought if that.
Of course this is a woman afraid of heights who was a flight attendant. I asked how she flew if she was afraid of heights? Her: well i don’t know i’m up in the air.... wtf
Posted on 8/16/20 at 8:50 am to LSU6262
quote:
You didn't answer the question. Did you put the cover on wet or not?
Posted on 8/16/20 at 8:50 am to welder69
quote:But it doesn't. Time change occurs at 2 AM either forward or back an hour.
Me. Don't forget at midnight time changes an hour ahead
Posted on 8/16/20 at 8:51 am to welder69
quote:
Me. Don't forget at midnight time changes an hour ahead
Actually, it's 2:00am
This post was edited on 8/16/20 at 8:52 am
Posted on 8/16/20 at 9:04 am to bleedsgarnet
Mine was reading the ingredients information on a package and asked me what E, G, G stood for, no shite. I let her know that it was a protein derived from boneless, skinless chickens. I still frick with her over that.
Posted on 8/16/20 at 9:20 am to Stealth Matrix
quote:
When she does a home project and she tells me she needs to borrow either my plus or my minus screwdriver. Doesn't matter how many times I correct her. Plus or minus. Drives me nuts.
Who’s Phillip?
Posted on 8/16/20 at 9:34 am to bleedsgarnet
Can we talk???!
75% of the time this question come from the outside of the bathroom door while I’m taking a shite. The lead question to this whole situation is (keep in mind I’m in the bathroom) “what are you doing?”
75% of the time this question come from the outside of the bathroom door while I’m taking a shite. The lead question to this whole situation is (keep in mind I’m in the bathroom) “what are you doing?”
Posted on 8/16/20 at 9:41 am to bleedsgarnet
Wife, "when are you leaving?"
Me, "I don't know, I'm in no rush."
Wife, "well hurry Jody is one his way."
Me, "I don't know, I'm in no rush."
Wife, "well hurry Jody is one his way."
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