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Started By
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1
Posted on 4/8/14 at 12:52 am to TheDrunkenTigah
Up voted woke the girlfriend with that one.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 12:56 am to BurtReynoldsMustache
Sarah Jessica Parker walks into a bar. Bartender says "why the long face?"
Posted on 4/8/14 at 12:56 am to BurtReynoldsMustache
Why was the letter C afraid of the other letters?
They were Not-Cs.
They were Not-Cs.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 1:14 am to BurtReynoldsMustache
I think the OP's joke was excellent actually.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 2:45 am to BurtReynoldsMustache
What does a snail say while riding on the back of a turtle?
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!
WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!
Posted on 4/8/14 at 3:23 am to BurtReynoldsMustache
A termite walks into a bar and says "Hey, is the bar tender here?"
Posted on 4/8/14 at 3:29 am to BurtReynoldsMustache
Knock Knock...
"who's there?"
Orange.
"Orange who?"
Orange you glad you glad you didn't get banned for posting a dirty joke?
"who's there?"
Orange.
"Orange who?"
Orange you glad you glad you didn't get banned for posting a dirty joke?
Posted on 4/8/14 at 5:57 am to NATidefan
Bill, Jim, and Scott were attending a convention and were sharing a large suite on the top of a 75-story skyscraper.
After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.
Bill said to Jim and Scott, "Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can sing songs for the next 25 flights, and Scott can tell stories for the rest of the way."
At the 26th floor, Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor, Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell stories.
"I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "It's about a man who left the room key in the car."
After a long day of meetings, they were shocked to hear that the elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb 75 flights of stairs to get to their room.
Bill said to Jim and Scott, "Let's break the monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something interesting. I'll tell jokes for 25 flights, Jim can sing songs for the next 25 flights, and Scott can tell stories for the rest of the way."
At the 26th floor, Bill stopped telling jokes and Jim began to sing. At the 51st floor, Jim stopped singing and Scott began to tell stories.
"I will tell my saddest story first," he said. "It's about a man who left the room key in the car."
Posted on 4/8/14 at 6:05 am to Seven Costanza
Boudreaux and Thibodeaux went down to the crawfish plant to apply for a job. The manager told them the first thing they would have to do is take a written test.
About two hours later they finished the test, and the manager scored them. A few minutes later, he came back in the room and told them that they had both passed the test, but he would only hire Boudreaux.
Thibodeaux jumped up and hollered "Mais, if we both passed da test, how come Boudreaux gets hired and I don't?"
The manager tells him "Well because of the last question on the test. Boudreaux answered 'I don't know' and you answered 'Me neither' !"
About two hours later they finished the test, and the manager scored them. A few minutes later, he came back in the room and told them that they had both passed the test, but he would only hire Boudreaux.
Thibodeaux jumped up and hollered "Mais, if we both passed da test, how come Boudreaux gets hired and I don't?"
The manager tells him "Well because of the last question on the test. Boudreaux answered 'I don't know' and you answered 'Me neither' !"
Posted on 4/8/14 at 6:15 am to Bullfrog
Haha that's pretty good. The OPs made me snort
Posted on 4/8/14 at 6:17 am to bryken89
Me too. Posted on 4/8/14 at 6:19 am to Seven Costanza
Posted on 4/8/14 at 6:44 am to gorillacoco
Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 6:46 am to Seven Costanza
Got me
Posted on 4/8/14 at 7:48 am to BurtReynoldsMustache
not bad for a clean joke
Posted on 4/8/14 at 7:51 am to BurtReynoldsMustache
What do you call a fly with no wings?
A walk.
A walk.
Posted on 4/8/14 at 8:05 am to BurtReynoldsMustache
Man's walking down the road one day when he comes across a young chicken reading a Bible. The man asks the chicken how come he's reading the Good Book. The chicken looks up and tells the man "why I'm destined to become a member of the clergy!" The man, puzzled, asks the chicken what makes him think he's going to become a clergyman. The chicken responded "I heard somebody say the other day I would make a fine friar."
Posted on 4/8/14 at 8:40 am to BurtReynoldsMustache
A string walks into a bar and orders a drink.
The bartender says "We don't serve strings in here."
The string leaves and goes into the back alley where he ties himself up and starts rolling around on the ground.
Then he picks himself up and walks back in the bar.
The string sits down and orders another drink.
The bartender comes over and says "Aren't you the same string that was just in here?"
The string replies, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
The bartender says "We don't serve strings in here."
The string leaves and goes into the back alley where he ties himself up and starts rolling around on the ground.
Then he picks himself up and walks back in the bar.
The string sits down and orders another drink.
The bartender comes over and says "Aren't you the same string that was just in here?"
The string replies, "Nope, I'm a frayed knot."
Posted on 4/8/14 at 8:49 am to BurtReynoldsMustache
Knock Knock
Who's there?
To
To Who?
TO WHOM!
Who's there?
To
To Who?
TO WHOM!
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