- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: Sitting in the ER with my Dad again
Posted on 5/15/19 at 11:49 pm to Legion of Doom
Posted on 5/15/19 at 11:49 pm to Legion of Doom
About 6 weeks ago I was in the hospital and had been up for 30 hours and had went to the ER straight from work(had no change of clothes). I finally had a few min to sleep so I doze off and let a fart rip(it wasn't a fart, I'm wearing boxers and a gown) I wake up in a panic and tell my wife to turn on the lights because I think I just sharted. Well sure enough I had. My wife being trooper she is tells me to go in the bathroom and clean up and she would fix the bed. So I put my pants back on so I'm not naked under the gown. No big deal right?
Until they schedule me for multiple ultrasounds, liver, kidneys, stomach. So they roll me down and the tech does all of that and says now I need to do your bladder, unzip your pants(wait, what?) so I'm like I'm 47 Why do I give a frick if some dude is about to rub lube all around my dick(MikeL will approve) the whole time he is doing the ultrasound he is rubbing his arm /back of his hand on my dick.
Hope my shame helps your wait and hope your pops gets better
Until they schedule me for multiple ultrasounds, liver, kidneys, stomach. So they roll me down and the tech does all of that and says now I need to do your bladder, unzip your pants(wait, what?) so I'm like I'm 47 Why do I give a frick if some dude is about to rub lube all around my dick(MikeL will approve) the whole time he is doing the ultrasound he is rubbing his arm /back of his hand on my dick.
Hope my shame helps your wait and hope your pops gets better
This post was edited on 5/15/19 at 11:59 pm
1
Posted on 5/15/19 at 11:51 pm to MrLarson
Mikelbr about to go down to the hospital and demand an ultrasound! Hahahaha!
Posted on 5/16/19 at 12:14 am to Legion of Doom
quote:
Mikelbr about to go down to the hospital and demand an ultrasound! Hahahaha!
Got Damn right.
Posted on 5/16/19 at 12:27 am to Legion of Doom
Back in '98 I was living in some thin walled apartments. I'm in my room and let out a very loud staggered series over a 6 or 8 second period. I hear the voices of 2 children laughing their asses off. They thought it was funny.
Posted on 5/16/19 at 12:42 am to Legion of Doom
Here's a better one. I'm standing in formation getting inspected. We all had lunch a Korean buffet and if you've never smelled a Kim Chi fart, consider that destiny showing you mercy.
You know where this is going... I wasn't the first to let one rip, we never figured out who let the first one out. It was silent. We all trying to keep our composure, but once the NCOIC grimaced, gagged and recoiled me and 2 other dudes farted hard. Instructor just goes "GET THE frick OUT!! Nasty sons of bitches!" CS didn't even have that affect on him.
Seriously, man, I hope your dad does alright. Having a dad is a great gift, I hope you get to enjoy it for many more years.
You know where this is going... I wasn't the first to let one rip, we never figured out who let the first one out. It was silent. We all trying to keep our composure, but once the NCOIC grimaced, gagged and recoiled me and 2 other dudes farted hard. Instructor just goes "GET THE frick OUT!! Nasty sons of bitches!" CS didn't even have that affect on him.
Seriously, man, I hope your dad does alright. Having a dad is a great gift, I hope you get to enjoy it for many more years.
Posted on 5/16/19 at 12:53 am to Woodreaux
I had my appendix removed during my senior year of HS. I was nervous as frick. I had never had to go to the doctor for anything beyond the flu. I had never broken a bone, nothing. This was all new to me. They took me straight from the doctor to the hospital.
My parents met me there. I was nervous to the point of shaking. I may have had some tears welling up. I was in the gown at that point and about to get on the stretcher to head to surgery.
I tried to let out a fart and instead, blasted liquified shite all over the gown. Some seeped through to the bed that I was sitting on. This happened in front of my folks and the nurse. I was so nervous, my shite (pun intended) was lost long before then.
My parents met me there. I was nervous to the point of shaking. I may have had some tears welling up. I was in the gown at that point and about to get on the stretcher to head to surgery.
I tried to let out a fart and instead, blasted liquified shite all over the gown. Some seeped through to the bed that I was sitting on. This happened in front of my folks and the nurse. I was so nervous, my shite (pun intended) was lost long before then.
Posted on 5/16/19 at 1:22 am to TexasTiger08
I've shared this one before.
About 7 years ago I had to have a lump removed off my vocal cords. I come out of surgery and start to come to and my stomach is hurting really bad. I'm still not awake but I know I need to get to the bathroom ASAP. I start calling for the nurse telling her I needed to go to the bathroom. She tells me to wait a couple minutes. I tell her that we don't have a couple of minutes. I start coming to and can see the bathroom is 10 feet from my bed and told her to help me to the bathroom.
No, MrLarson. You still have IV's in both arms. We will get you a porta-toilet. So I'm starting to be able to see and I see two young nurses coming toward me pulling a crapper. The head nurse tells me they are going to help me out of bed and get on toilet(I'm cool at this point) so, I get on the toilet and asked them to leave. No MrLarson, these girls are going to hold your arms so you don't bend them, just go.
I release a covey of quails out of my arse and ask them if they could leave and let me clean up. No MrLarson, you can't bend your arms. They'll help you stand up and I will clean you up(Holy frick) so I get stood up qnd the head nurse tells me to lean over the bed and then she pulls the bed shhet off the bed and shoves her hand in my arse and wipes it. I'm mortified at this point, it can't get worse?
I turn around and there sits my wife and sister in law watching the whole thing go down.
About 7 years ago I had to have a lump removed off my vocal cords. I come out of surgery and start to come to and my stomach is hurting really bad. I'm still not awake but I know I need to get to the bathroom ASAP. I start calling for the nurse telling her I needed to go to the bathroom. She tells me to wait a couple minutes. I tell her that we don't have a couple of minutes. I start coming to and can see the bathroom is 10 feet from my bed and told her to help me to the bathroom.
No, MrLarson. You still have IV's in both arms. We will get you a porta-toilet. So I'm starting to be able to see and I see two young nurses coming toward me pulling a crapper. The head nurse tells me they are going to help me out of bed and get on toilet(I'm cool at this point) so, I get on the toilet and asked them to leave. No MrLarson, these girls are going to hold your arms so you don't bend them, just go.
I release a covey of quails out of my arse and ask them if they could leave and let me clean up. No MrLarson, you can't bend your arms. They'll help you stand up and I will clean you up(Holy frick) so I get stood up qnd the head nurse tells me to lean over the bed and then she pulls the bed shhet off the bed and shoves her hand in my arse and wipes it. I'm mortified at this point, it can't get worse?
I turn around and there sits my wife and sister in law watching the whole thing go down.
Posted on 5/16/19 at 4:33 am to MrLarson
:nodignityleft:Posted on 5/16/19 at 7:55 am to MrLarson
Wow. That’s horrible, Larson. Lol
Posted on 5/16/19 at 1:38 pm to Woodreaux
quote:
You know where this is going... I wasn't the first to let one rip, we never figured out who let the first one out. It was silent. We all trying to keep our composure, but once the NCOIC grimaced, gagged and recoiled me and 2 other dudes farted hard. Instructor just goes "GET THE frick OUT!! Nasty sons of bitches!" CS didn't even have that affect on him.
I think kim chi has gotten the best of a lot of us. Lol.
Posted on 5/16/19 at 1:42 pm to Legion of Doom
Posted on 5/16/19 at 1:46 pm to Legion of Doom
When I was in the Navy, my buddy and I had to go do an oxygen cleanliness refresher class. The first day the instructor tell us that when he gives a time to be back from break we better be back on time... even 1 minute late and we'd be booted from the class.
On day 2 as we were taking a break I stood up, put my arse right on my buddy's ear and ripped one. He was pissed but everyone else laughed at him. We come back from break and he sneaks up behind me while I'm sitting in my chair and tries to get me back. I hear him say "Aw goddammit!" and I realized he just shat himself.
He went to go clean up and break ended. The instructor says "where's your buddy? He's late." When I told him what happened he gave my boy a pass and just made fun of him for shitting his pants.
On day 2 as we were taking a break I stood up, put my arse right on my buddy's ear and ripped one. He was pissed but everyone else laughed at him. We come back from break and he sneaks up behind me while I'm sitting in my chair and tries to get me back. I hear him say "Aw goddammit!" and I realized he just shat himself.
He went to go clean up and break ended. The instructor says "where's your buddy? He's late." When I told him what happened he gave my boy a pass and just made fun of him for shitting his pants.
Posted on 5/16/19 at 2:13 pm to terd ferguson
You sound like the ultimate jerk. Lmao
Posted on 5/16/19 at 5:27 pm to thejudge
quote:
What kind of bees make milk? Boo bees
Teehee. I see what you did there.
Page 3 of 3
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News