re: Separation Anxiety and Depression question.

I would buy a book about co-dependency and read it. The best thing you can do for yourself is to learn to enjoy being comfortable in your own skin and spending time alone.

Then take a trip by yourself and do whatever YOU want. Do not sit in the house you shared and torture yourself with memories.

I hope you feel better soon.

My dog has separation anxiety when we leave him alone, the vet gave us some low dose Xanax, maybe try that.

My parents just got divorced and my dad took it hard like it seems like you are. He used to mock people with mental health issues but for 6 months after the split he was taking xanax, an anti depressant, and drinking every night just to get by. My sister and I had to take care of him for a lot of it.

My suggestion would be to talk to a therapist about it, make sure you're getting out of the house, getting exercise and stay off the booze. Alcohol makes emotions more extreme so drinking when you're feeling down is going to make it much much worse.

Other than that, it just takes time It's been about a year since my mom left my dad and he's finally getting back to normal.

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Alcohol makes emotions more extreme so drinking when you're feeling down is going to make it much much worse.

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I agree with this. I had to establish hard limits when drinking in public (4 drinks) and when drinking alone (2) because it is so easy to slip deep into a dark spiral. You think the alcohol will take the pain away or let you forget for a little while, but it does the exact opposite. It's a slip n slide straight into depression.

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No pics of ex wife

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No free advice

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The only advice I can give you is not to blame yourself for what happened. I did that for awhile even though it was my ex-husband who cheated.

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Same here. To be a little ego-centric is human. We like to believe that everything that happens to us or those we love is somehow our fault. Sometimes it's not. Unless you cheated first or physically abused her, there is absolutely nothing you could have done differently to prevent your SO from cheating on you short of killing her. There is simply no excuse for that kind of behavior. You can be noble, you can be a gentleman, you can do all the little things right, you can pick flowers, leave sweet little notes, remember birthdays and anniverseries, go gangbusters on knowing where she wants to eat before she does, etc, and still end up getting dumped. Your SO can still end up being a cheater.

You need to let go of your guilt. You didn't make this happen. There was nothing you could have done to prevent it. It is a GOOD thing that this is ending because it was not going to work out. It was doomed from the start, no matter how good it looked on paper. And, that's ok. It's ok to be imperfect. It's ok to hurt. It's ok to be lonely. It's a big part of being human.

Before anyone else can love you, you have to relearn to love yourself. Before you can love yourself, you have to get rid of that shame and that guilt you feel over your marriage falling apart. It wasn't your fault, buddy. This is the start of a better life, it just won't start right away.

What have you done since? How long did it take you to start feeling better?

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Then I found out he had actually fathered a two year old child with the nurse in question.

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Yeah, I think that would do it for me too

Granted, I don't know how she could have hidden a pregnancy from me. My ex weighed 100lbs soaking wet.

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I took the beach house here in Florida

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I think you did alright

Any chance we could discus the grieving process in person at said beach house...preferably over some frozen pina coladas?