re: Relationship advice

Except for kids there is no sane reason to get married in the legal environment of today.

You guys keep talking OK Boomer stuff yet want to cling to the outdated and overlegislated marriage ideals created by boomers. OK Boomer!

At best make it a church thing without a government sponsored, state sanctioned, binding, legal contract, complete with registration, and court filing. May as well have her file a UCC-1 on your balls.

quote:

---

Sounds like she is quite content with you making all the effort, which will NOT translate into a healthy relationship that progresses into a healthy marriage. She needs to grow up.

---

Three sides to every story. And we have only heard the OP’s story, all based upon his perspective.

The biggest thing here is to make sure you guys are equally yoked.

Getting married is a huge decision and sometimes people are never ready and need a nudge.

Key thing is do y'all like the same shite? Are you the same religion? Do you have the same goals? Are you going to be able to do the things you like with her and vice versa, or will it always be an argument?

Real life isn't a Disney movie.

Can you sit down and say you can spend the rest of your life with her? Does she try to change you or thinks she can mold you once you two are married?

Women act a certain way before marriage and can change after and the guy gets a false sense of who she is.

Women love to think they can change their man and mold him when guys don't chnage much and it causes strife.

Does she like you for who you are or who she think you will be?

Op sounds like the type that wants whatever it is they don't have. Not knocking at all, I say that to try to help OP since he said she's everything he could want in a woman. Don't just abandon the relationship, convey the fact that you need time for yourself some and space. May not miss her immediately but after a while you will probably come to a realization that you miss her companionship. Then goes back to the original line of wanting what you don't have.

quote:

---

I feel bad that it just doesn't come easy for me. I should say here that I hate making commitments to anything or taking risks, I know thats immature but it is what it is. I'm also somewhat of a loner. I like being able to just pick up and go on a trip or whatever if I want to.

---

Let’s focus on this part. This girl seems very dependent and needy. Probably a nice girl and great in other areas. But this is where you will clash. She will start to get pissed when she isn’t included in everything . You will start to get pissed when she wants to be in your back pocket all the time. Gets much worse when you have kids bc that requires 2 adults. You need to strongly evaluate this and also seeing her only monthly you should take your time . There’s no such thing as getting married too late, only too early. Especially in your 20s.

quote:

---

Should I just break up with her so she can find someone else who'd have no problem settling down? Should I just get over myself and take the plunge?

---

After you break up with her I am sure all of your wants and dreams will come true. Don’t worry. You will not be lonely being single at 37. And when you see her pic later in life on Facebook she will look even sexier than you remember and you will also see she upgraded from you and has a wonderful family. And she has been to more great places on vacation than you ever did. But it’s ok. You can go have a drink, alone, at the bar with the other sad middle aged people. You will be fine. No regrets baw.

If you don’t want to get married, break up with her.

If you can’t break up with her, stop being a Pussy and marry her.

That’s pretty much it man. It’s either put up or shut up time. You’re 26, you are at the age where you either have to marry her or let her go.

Some life events don't happen based on your timeline. If you know you've met the perfect person for you and you know that marriage is part of your future plans, put a ring on it. Otherwise, you know what you need to do.

quote:

---

You like her but you only see her for limited times. You can’t be sure if she’s the right one until you have to see her all the time. If she’s around at any moment and you still want to spend time with her, then you know.

Until then, you are just playing boyfriend-girlfriend.

---

Good post. But I upvoted your Username.

quote:

---

Any words of wisdom?

Half of the people in my life say...

The other half say....

Its all very confusing.

---

Quit listening to others and asking for advice. Man up and make a decision or tell her you’ve made one if it’s already done.

If you’re willing to let the perfect girl walk away (and to break her heart in the process) because you’re “not ready” then she’s either not the perfect girl or she is better off with you.

Life is short. And unpredictable.