re: Raising another mans kids

I feel you.

I don't raise my own. You think I am going to raise someone else's?

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No, don't have any of my own.

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This has been an issue for me. Growing up, I've been around some great Dads. Dads that would step in for mine at the pinewood derby, boy scouts camping and such.

It wasn't until I was a teen did I realize these great dads....had no child of their own

One was a sheriff, that raised 5 kids that weren't his.....his wife who married and was LEFT by two separate abusive rednecks, who would beat my friend with a belt, strip him naked, and throw him outside to sleep with the dogs..... I remember his wife saying to my mom, "I think I can do better" and "he's so boring".....Now she's Mrs Goody-two-shoes with a nice custom home in Walker, and the kids, 3 married now with children and one in bible college(she's glad she settled now)

My other, he raised 3 kids that weren't his, none of his own. Mother was a bar fly/alcoholic(admits this, now she's the outspoken Church lady) all three sons were trouble But he(great pseudo-step-dad) stepped in. He also helped me fix things, pinewood derby(2nd place), great man who rescued a terrible family(kids were 15,12,12. the two youngest turned things around and one owns a mechanic shop, the other a chef.....the oldest has AIDS still in and out of trouble)

I have a few others but no one will read. I just find it a completely flawed system that allows shitbags to procreate and actual guys who society needs to clone are only granted the privilege of cleaning up some shitbag's mess.

I'm in my 30s and my SO just turned 24 and has no children.

Bummer for you.

My mom married my step-dad when I was 4. While I've never said it to him and likewise he has never said it to me but we love each other like a true father/son relationship. He tells everyone I'm his son and unless I'm trying to distinct him from my "real dad" I always call him my dad.

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The woman my brother married had a 12 year old daughter when they met. Her father was not in her life, even though they lived in the same town. He treated her as his own, raised her as his own, and when she got married, he was the one who walked her down the aisle. Don't let it scare you away from a promising relationship, it works out fine more often than not.

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When I met my wife she had a 8month old boy, his dad do pay child support but has never been around. No problems at all, its all up to that women how the relationship goes between you and the kid, I'm all he's ever knowing and that's dad. We also have an 11y old girl & he's 17ys. I wouldn't want it no other way and if I had to do it all over again I would do it in a heartbeat, best 16ys of my life

I highly doubt i will change my mind
That goes against everything I stand for

Then there is the flip side. You and the kids get attached to each other and then a breakup happens. Damn that really hurts.

Hence I usually don't date women with kids for that reason or the kids are at least 15.

Obviously if kids are orphaned and/or you can adopt them it's a different story.

Then there are the court fights. No thanks.

It all depends on how old they are when you get introduced into their lives. I met my wife before her son was even 1, she is an amazing woman and her son has become no different than a biological to me. If they are older, then it might be a little more difficult.