re: Question re: death of child

My best friend lost his daughter at 11 months. He took a sabbatical, went on a two week bender, then got his shite together and went back to work. He and his wife had another child and they live normal lives. It never came close to ruining their marriage. They still celebrate her birthday and talk about her...honestly though, they’ve coped as well any could have ever possibly imagined.

I've pondered this as well, given some of the tragic stories I've come across lately (FL: child killed by gator at resort; Africa: child killed by leopard; numerous articles stating children died). Being a father of an almost 2 yr old, it puts the fear of God in me and even discussing the possibility of it happening, let alone the possible results, is nothing I can put in words. I would probably seek out a therapist immediately and get on meds so I wouldn't do anything irrational. Then I may fake my death, get a new identity, and live somewhere far away from any places we had roots. I imagine the memory alone is painful;I wouldn't want the additional ones from places & people to add to it. I would probably smoke weed for my remaining years as well.

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One thing is you never get over losing a kid

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My grandmother's sister and her husband lost an infant son. When they were well past seventy they would still visit the cemetery.

Sister in laws niece 19 hanged herself last week & the 4 th kid on their street this year to commit suicide.

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I have 2 kids under 2. I

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So if you lose 1 child, you will kill yourself? What a great dad, leaving the surviving kid alone and possibly your wife. It would suck big time to lose a kid but damn you still got many others that need you to be around.

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I have 2 kids under 2. If anything happened to either of them, there’s no way I could go on. Absolutely no chance whatsoever. Call me a pussy...whatever. But I can no longer picture life without them.

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I don’t believe that.

You might think that since you’ve never been in that situation, but (God forbid) if it happens, it’s going to devistate not just you, but your wife and any remaining kids. You’re not just going to peace out on them to get rid of your pain.

Most people are capable of enduring more than they can imagine.

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I have 2 kids under 2. If anything happened to either of them, there’s no way I could go on

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So if 1 of your 2 kids kids dies, you kill yourself leaving the other child fatherless and feeling worthless will lifelong mental issues.

Brilliant

I lost my 22 year old son, 14+ years ago. I think I was in shock mixed with deep depression for the first year. Then depression continued. I have two other children. If I had no other children, I would have died by suicide. My choice has always been not to live without all of my children.

It's too early in the morning for this.

I couldn't imagine what I would do if I lost my daughter. I don't think I would take my life, but I would definitely have to re-start my life. I couldn't live in our house anymore.

Me and my wife just recently went through a miscarriage and that was painful enough.

Can't imagine the pain of losing a child that you know and raised.

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The marriage almost always ends. People just carry around unspeakable pain every single day that never goes away, if they go on living a semblance of a normal life

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While not necessarily the situation the OP dictated... I was dating a chick and her early 50s father died tragically in a very mysterious car explosion. It was never the same with us, she was never happy (understandably) , and our relationship just went the hell in a hand basket. Nothing I could do or say was ever enough. I can't imagine the pain of losing a young child