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Question re: death of child
Posted on 6/12/18 at 10:48 pm
Posted on 6/12/18 at 10:48 pm
Inspired by Bode Miller thread
So, if your young child dies, how do you manage to not immediately blow your brains out? Not from guilt...from just sheer devastation?
I have 2 kids under 2. If anything happened to either of them, there’s no way I could go on. Absolutely no chance whatsoever. Call me a pussy...whatever. But I can no longer picture life without them.
How the frick do those if you who have lost a child (especially a young child) make it through life after?
So, if your young child dies, how do you manage to not immediately blow your brains out? Not from guilt...from just sheer devastation?
I have 2 kids under 2. If anything happened to either of them, there’s no way I could go on. Absolutely no chance whatsoever. Call me a pussy...whatever. But I can no longer picture life without them.
How the frick do those if you who have lost a child (especially a young child) make it through life after?
This post was edited on 6/13/18 at 7:21 am
31
Posted on 6/12/18 at 10:49 pm to PenguinNinja
Haven't gone through that, but quite obviously your spouse and the other kids would be a good reason not to.
Posted on 6/12/18 at 10:50 pm to PenguinNinja
Sorry to tell you this, but it only gets worse as they get older. Mine are 7-9.
I pray every night to the good Lord to protect my 2 kids.
I pray every night to the good Lord to protect my 2 kids.
Posted on 6/12/18 at 10:51 pm to PenguinNinja
I don't think a person would ever be the same after something like that. However, you still do have a number of people depending on you for support, etc. so you just have to find a way to keep everything on the rails until things smooth over.
Posted on 6/12/18 at 10:51 pm to PenguinNinja
I don’t want to think about it, so frick this thread
Posted on 6/12/18 at 10:52 pm to PenguinNinja
The marriage almost always ends. People just carry around unspeakable pain every single day that never goes away, if they go on living a semblance of a normal life it's usually through devout faith in God and strong community and family support.
This post was edited on 6/12/18 at 10:52 pm
Posted on 6/12/18 at 10:52 pm to PenguinNinja
So if the worst tragedy strikes, you want to pile on to that unspeakable hurt?
I mean, I understand the sentiment, not being able to live with yourself. But you have to keep on, for those that depend on you.
It’s the worst hell I can imagine but ending your own pain for such a selfish reason isn’t the answer
I mean, I understand the sentiment, not being able to live with yourself. But you have to keep on, for those that depend on you.
It’s the worst hell I can imagine but ending your own pain for such a selfish reason isn’t the answer
Posted on 6/12/18 at 10:52 pm to PenguinNinja
When this happened to me I just did more cocaine and focused on singing and playing guitar.
This post was edited on 6/12/18 at 10:55 pm
Posted on 6/12/18 at 10:53 pm to PenguinNinja
So if one died you'd immediately abandon the other? Great parent you are
Posted on 6/12/18 at 10:53 pm to dbeck
quote:
When this happens to me I just did more cocaine and focused on singing and playing guitar.
There’s no tears in heaven
Posted on 6/12/18 at 10:54 pm to PenguinNinja
quote:
I have 2 kids under 2. If anything happened to either of them, there’s no way I could go on.
You couldn't go on to raise and love the child you have left?
Posted on 6/12/18 at 10:54 pm to PenguinNinja
I pray often that my oldest is grown before the lord calls us home.
Posted on 6/12/18 at 10:56 pm to fr33manator
quote:
It’s the worst hell I can imagine but ending your own pain for such a selfish reason isn’t the answer
If there are no other kids depending on you, then Suicide is pretty understandable.
Posted on 6/12/18 at 10:58 pm to biglego
quote:
If there are no other kids depending on you, then Suicide is pretty understandable.
Like I said, I understand the impulse. But then you’d be putting that compounded heartache on your parents, your aunts and uncles, siblings, friends.
Suicide is almost never the answer.
Posted on 6/12/18 at 11:01 pm to PenguinNinja
My best friend lost one her children to SIDS. She has to keep going for her other kids.
Posted on 6/12/18 at 11:04 pm to fr33manator
You snuff out a life, you commit murder, you abandon all your responsibilities and everyone who knows you, and you get away with it. The consequences of your actions are hoisted upon those who love you most. Those you leave behind get both sides of pain that occur in a murder all at once - the tragedy of a murder victim's loved ones and the guilt and regret of a murderer's loved ones. It is the ultimate form of selfishness
Posted on 6/12/18 at 11:06 pm to PenguinNinja
My youngest brother died of leukemia at the age of 5 years, I was 10 years old - back in 1966. I do not know, to this day, how my parents kept it together. His death altered our way of family forever and still has a profound influence in my relationship with others...somewhat detached, warm but a degree of space.
Can't say I appreciate life more or less than the next person but did learn that life is very fragile, be grateful for what you have, and live - not out of fear but out of the sanctity and sacredness of life.
I will say this, if the death of a child is not one of life's worse things then I shudder to ponder what the other(s) might be...totally disrupts the typical rhythm of life, turns it inside out
Can't say I appreciate life more or less than the next person but did learn that life is very fragile, be grateful for what you have, and live - not out of fear but out of the sanctity and sacredness of life.
I will say this, if the death of a child is not one of life's worse things then I shudder to ponder what the other(s) might be...totally disrupts the typical rhythm of life, turns it inside out
Posted on 6/12/18 at 11:08 pm to PenguinNinja
I know a family who lost two college age sons to suicide. Both were severely bipolar and treatment was ineffective. They had the resources to give them the best possible treatment, and nothing worked. TBH, while tragic, I don't think it was unexpected. I am not super close to them, so I don't know how they deal with it behind closed doors. I do know they are dedicated to raising mental health awareness. The mom has been very open in talking to the media about it, has testified before the legislature, etc.
Posted on 6/12/18 at 11:18 pm to Spankum
quote:
don't think a person would ever be the same after something like that. However, you still do have a number of people depending on you for support, etc. so you just have to find a way to keep everything on the rails until things smooth over.
This is pretty much it. My first son passed a month before his 21st birthday. It hurts the same every single day without him. The pain of missing him will be with me the rest of my life.
But, My second son was only 5 at the time. Leaving him alone certainly was not an option. My wife and him both need me to keep going. So that's what I do. My faith and belief in heaven help also.
One thing is you never get over losing a kid, you just find a way to keep moving forward and live with the loss for the other people that depend on you.
Posted on 6/12/18 at 11:22 pm to PenguinNinja
Said the same thing about my wife until that hoe cheated on me and moved Jody in my house. shite happens, you just move on.
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