re: Pre-Marriage Counseling - What to expect

Is this the mandatory counseling for a Catholic Church wedding or elective?

Because this...

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psychologist

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isn't required, is it?

I love when this conversation comes up and people bash the concept of priests providing marriage counseling.

Never mind the fact that many of these priests have seen hundreds, if not thousands, of married couples and have helped guide them through some dark shite (deaths of children, infidelity, you name it).

Priests have never been married? Good. In many ways, that puts them in a better position to provide guidance. They are a neutral observer. Not a biased friend who may provide selfish advice (i.e. "Dude, she wants you to visit her parents instead of watching the game? F that shite. Tell her you don't want to. She can visit them by herself. It's her parents.")

A priest who has been around a while will be able to give much MUCH better advice than your buddy, Craig, who lives down the street and is on marriage #2.

Don't get me wrong. Professional marriage counselors serve a good purpose as well. But to disparage the fact that priests counsel married and engaged couples is sheer ignorance.

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well, one has never been married, sworn to a life of celibacy, really has no knowledge of marital relationships, the other is considered the lowest member of the counseling food chain, so, good luck

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Priest who married my wife and i is married with kids. he and a bunch of other Episcopalian priests were allowed in by Pope John Paul in the late 90s I believe, so you never know.

Never did this, but good luck to y'all

There's definitely no panacea when it comes to maintaining a healthy marriage. Only been married 3.5 years (known her for twice as long), but I learn stuff I can do better (and frick stuff up) every damn day.

Bottom line: marriage takes WORK. From both of y'all. Constantly. Even if you think you're ready, life will never stop testing you.

Commit to each other for the long haul come hell or high water.

It's all a load of crap and brain washing.

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Only been married 3.5 years

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Bottom line: marriage takes WORK. From both of y'all. Constantly. Even if you think you're ready, life will never stop testing you.

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Sounds like you're already ahead of the curve...lots of people don't realize this until it's too late

To the OP, we've been married for 13 years and we never did pre-marriage counseling. I say do it. Talking to an objective third party with experience dealing with family issues (be it a priest, psychologists, etc) won't hurt, and can point out possible blind spots that you and your future wife would want to work on.

Counseling in general is usually always beneficial when both parties are committed to making things work, and it's a hell of a lot cheaper than paying thousands to a lawyer and splitting everything else with a person you now hate. My wife and I hit a rough patch after our youngest was born in October and have been in counseling for a few weeks now. Worth every penny.