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Message
re: Parents under 35, do you spank your children?
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:16 pm to jessecraig
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:16 pm to jessecraig
quote:
Conservatards are just as bad with redefining words as liberals. Quit being a fricking pussy. If you think hitting toddlers is a good idea, make the argument. The fact that you have to obfuscate what's actually happening demonstrates that you don't believe your position is defensible.
You’re a dumbass, and not worth the discussion. My opinion on the matter is on the first page.
“What’s actually happening”
You sound like a childless 2LThis post was edited on 6/28/23 at 1:20 pm
0
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:21 pm to Indefatigable
quote:Best part of this, I'm just realizing you don't even kids that are spanking age and you threw this line out.
You don’t have kids, do you?
Bold strategy when you're the inexperienced one, not me.
Seems like you're gonna learn a whole lot once your kids get to that age. Seems you have that exact fairy tale I just mentioned in your mind that that is exactly how it'll go. We were all there once, but you'll learn soon enough.
This post was edited on 6/28/23 at 1:22 pm
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:23 pm to shel311
quote:
Best part of this, I'm just realizing you don't even kids that are spanking age and you threw this line out. Bold strategy when you're the inexperienced one, not me.
So you do have kids?
I’m just calling it as I see it. I see the need for physical action as probable/possible in the future under the right circumstances.
There’s not any universally correct approach in this area.
quote:
Seems like you're gonna learn a whole lot once your kids get to that age. Seems you have that exact fairy tale I just mentioned in your mind that that is exactly how it'll go. We were all there once, but you'll learn soon enough
Not in any way. I’ve seen how a strong “No” corrects an issue permanently. I don’t understand why you think a smack won’t ever do the same.
You’re discussing this as some black and white issue when it isn’t one.
This post was edited on 6/28/23 at 1:25 pm
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:24 pm to SuperSaint
quote:I'd like you to meet my son and his little bad arse who laughs at timeout snd doesn't give a frick about possessions
If you feel you are needing to spank your kid, 9 out of 10 times its your issue not the kids
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:25 pm to Loup
My daughter is super stubborn and hard-headed. She got spanked often when she was younger and I would sit down with her afterwards and make sure she understood why. Sometimes it was just a tap meant to get her attention, other times it hurt because she needed to understand the magnitude of her mistake (e.g. intentionally caused harm to someone else, sometimes after being repeatedly told not to).
She's since learned our family's standard of behavior and that I'm not raising a bunch of disrespectul, entitled idiots and she doesn't need to get spanked as often. The other two have required an adapted approach because if I fuss at them sternly enough it breaks their heart.
I have 3 and each of them responds differently to different forms of discipline. The point for me is to make the lesson sink in. Sending me to my room when I was a kid was a reward because it meant I got to take a nap instead of building fences or mowing grass for 10 straight hours. My daughter values being part of the action, so if she's misbehaving repeatedly in a setting with others, often sending her to her room so she can't participate in the activities for a time gets her attention infinitely better than if I just shook her arms out of socket and spanked the crap out of her in public like my parents did to me.
If you can teach your kids not to be a non-contributing zero without spanking them, fantastic, but telling other parents that your way is the only way and everything else is wrong is ignorant and condescending. I know my kids better than any of you do and I suspect the opposite is true as well. I've tested a LOT of different things to figure out what works best for mine. You handle your business, and I'll handle mine.
She's since learned our family's standard of behavior and that I'm not raising a bunch of disrespectul, entitled idiots and she doesn't need to get spanked as often. The other two have required an adapted approach because if I fuss at them sternly enough it breaks their heart.
I have 3 and each of them responds differently to different forms of discipline. The point for me is to make the lesson sink in. Sending me to my room when I was a kid was a reward because it meant I got to take a nap instead of building fences or mowing grass for 10 straight hours. My daughter values being part of the action, so if she's misbehaving repeatedly in a setting with others, often sending her to her room so she can't participate in the activities for a time gets her attention infinitely better than if I just shook her arms out of socket and spanked the crap out of her in public like my parents did to me.
If you can teach your kids not to be a non-contributing zero without spanking them, fantastic, but telling other parents that your way is the only way and everything else is wrong is ignorant and condescending. I know my kids better than any of you do and I suspect the opposite is true as well. I've tested a LOT of different things to figure out what works best for mine. You handle your business, and I'll handle mine.
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:25 pm to Indefatigable
quote:Yes
So you do have kids?
quote:But consider the exact discussion and in relation to your post on page 1.
I’m just calling it as I see it. I see the need for physical action as probable in the future in the right circumstances.
Your 1.5 year old is doing something he shouldn't consistently. Couple of verbal commands you give him, he doesn't listen. you give him/her a little pop on the arse...honest question, do you think that'll solve the problem once and for all and now your 1.5 year old will never do that thing again?
Again, back to the exact discussion we were having, if you think your child will learn his lesson and never do that again, you'll learn in time that's an unrealistic dream. If you think yes perhaps your child will continue to do that thing and you'll need to continue to discipline, then you agree with me.
quote:For a 1 year old? Like I said, you'll find out soon enough.
I don’t understand why you think a smack won’t ever do the same.
This post was edited on 6/28/23 at 1:27 pm
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:26 pm to High C
quote:
If not, what is your reasoning?
Lazy parenting. There are more effective ways to discipline. Those techniques take effort, which is why lazy parents still spank.
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:27 pm to High C
quote:Only extremes. My little girl is almost 5 and I don't think I've ever spanked her. My little boy is 3 and he catches a whipping about 2 times a week.
If so, under what circumstances?
Usually it's when he pulls her hair or hits or is overly mean. He laughs when we put him in "timeout" in the corner. When we say "I'm gonna take ___ away from you" he'll just give you the shite snd never blink.
But one whipping and for a week or so I can look at him in a certain way when he's being bad and he straightens up.
I don't like it and with my little girl it's not needed because she listens and behaves. My boy is a different animal and it works like a damn charm.
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:30 pm to c0rndogs
quote:
The wife always spanked our kids
quote:
My little boy is 3 and he catches a whipping about 2 times a week.
quote:Not calling either poster out, but just wanting to remind those who think that quick smack will solve all your problems, notice how posters keep replying and saying they've had to spank their kids often? It is not a 1 time thing and then everyone lived happily ever after, doesn't work that way.
My daughter is super stubborn and hard-headed. She got spanked often when she was younger
This post was edited on 6/28/23 at 1:38 pm
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:31 pm to Ingeniero
quote:
Under 30 and not a parent yet, but we aren't planning to.
quote:
don't really see a good reason for spanking. Even our dog was trained through positive reinforcement rather than negative, and humans are smarter than dogs
Yeah it's exactly like raising dog, no difference at all....
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:33 pm to Solo Cam
quote:Picking up your kids poop in the backyeard becomes a real chore when they reach 7 or 8.
Yeah it's exactly like raising dog, no difference at all....
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:35 pm to shel311
quote:Yeah I'm not gonna raise my kid with this new pussy mentality, if he pulls his sisters hair and runs away when my wife puts him in timeout - he's getting his butt popped. Worked with me and my brothers, and my family has been doing it for generations snd none of the men in my family are weak or frickups.
Not calling either poster out, but just wanting to remind those who think that quick smack will solve all your problems, notice how posters keep replying and saying they've had to spank their kids often? It is not a 1 time thing and then everyone lived happily ever after, doesn't work that way.
If he's bad enough he gets spanked. It corrects his behavior snd he will know there is consequences to his actions. You can try this new age bullshite but I don't think I'm smarter than the generations of my family that have raised successful men who are all positive contributions to society.
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:36 pm to R11
The wife always spanked our kids with anything she could get her hands on, switch/magazine/wood spoon/fly flap/belt/dog leash and it had little to do with discipline and more so to ease her stress from a couple of little heathens pushing her buttons.
Let me come home and take them to their room for a stern conversation and I rarely if ever had to physically touch them.
Now toddlers had to have their hands or legs popped a time or two to send a message more so for their own safety.
Let me come home and take them to their room for a stern conversation and I rarely if ever had to physically touch them.
Now toddlers had to have their hands or legs popped a time or two to send a message more so for their own safety.
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:37 pm to Solo Cam
Pretty sure you entirely missed my point, but that's fine.
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:37 pm to shel311
quote:
Your 1.5 year old is doing something he shouldn't consistently. Couple of verbal commands you give him, he doesn't listen. you give him/her a little pop on the arse...honest question, do you think that'll solve the problem once and for all and now your 1.5 year old will never do that thing again?
Maybe. Maybe not. There’s isn’t one answer. Sometimes he might not do that thing again. Sometimes he might continue doing it and we have to reevaluate our disciplinary approach.
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:37 pm to shel311
I spanked my kids, not to do it on a regular basis, but for them to learn from bad mistakes. They did and didn’t need to be spanked anymore. I would randomly bring up spanking and, most of the times, that’s all that was needed. After they were three or four I never did it again
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:38 pm to Indefatigable
quote:You don't have kids at that age yet, do you?
Maybe. Maybe not. There’s isn’t one answer. Sometimes he might not do that thing again. Sometimes he might continue doing it and we have to reevaluate our disciplinary approach.
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:39 pm to lion
didn't have my first kid until I was in my mid thirties
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:40 pm to Solo Cam
quote:
Yeah it's exactly like raising dog, no difference at all
Of course it isn't, that's a huge oversimplification. But you absolutely can parent with positive reinforcement. Not to say spanking doesn't have its place, but research over the last 30ish years has shown the negatives of it. If spanking were a highly effective discipline tool, black and Hispanic kids would be the best behaved ever.
Posted on 6/28/23 at 1:41 pm to Septiger
quote:
That’s the problem with a lot of these kids these days , never got their arse whipped. That time out bullshite don’t work.
I’d bet most people in prison got their asses whipped by their parents/guardians often. I’m not implying spanking leads to chronic bad behavior, but parents not spanking isn’t the problem with kids today. It’s parents not parenting, in general.
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