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Started By
Message
Our social contract with the Squirrel is really not very strong
Posted on 9/21/17 at 10:31 pm
Posted on 9/21/17 at 10:31 pm
We asked them to trust us like the pigeons and they refused. Which kind of hurt our feelings . We dreamed of a day when our two species could be in the same general area without them scrambling up a tree.
But where the squirrel is really failing humanity is by refusing to commit to a clean road crossing. We have agreed to brake for you furry little bastards, but if you back track in the middle of the sprint across and start heading back from whence you came, all bets are off .
From now on, we need to put them on notice - once you commit you have to stay committed. No more turning around mid street . It's really very inconsiderate of you to make us murder you.
But where the squirrel is really failing humanity is by refusing to commit to a clean road crossing. We have agreed to brake for you furry little bastards, but if you back track in the middle of the sprint across and start heading back from whence you came, all bets are off .
From now on, we need to put them on notice - once you commit you have to stay committed. No more turning around mid street . It's really very inconsiderate of you to make us murder you.
28
Posted on 9/21/17 at 10:32 pm to Lsupimp
Mrs. Bunky slows down to avoid hitting them. It's infuriating and we've probably hit more that way.
Posted on 9/21/17 at 10:32 pm to Lsupimp
I actually approve of this message. #SquirrelLivesAreForfeit
Posted on 9/21/17 at 10:33 pm to Lsupimp
gotta ask...what in the hell made you think of such a thing?.... 
Posted on 9/21/17 at 10:33 pm to Lsupimp
Nah man
Squirrels are just trying to get a nut,
to move your butt,
.........to the dance floor
Squirrels are just trying to get a nut,
to move your butt,
.........to the dance floor
Posted on 9/21/17 at 10:34 pm to Lsupimp
Your mom has a very strong social contract with my squirrel. She's just trying to get a nut.
Posted on 9/21/17 at 10:34 pm to Lsupimp
the A-24
get one. Kills rats, mice, and squirrels.
get one. Kills rats, mice, and squirrels.
Posted on 9/21/17 at 10:34 pm to Lsupimp
Pimp you on that weed tonight?
Posted on 9/21/17 at 10:35 pm to Lsupimp
Squirrels taste good. They know it. We know it.
Zero fricks given on both fronts.
Zero fricks given on both fronts.
Posted on 9/21/17 at 10:38 pm to Lsupimp
Squirrels are fricking lawn and garden terrorists.
Posted on 9/21/17 at 10:44 pm to Lsupimp
Morty accidentally stumbled upon the conspiracy that squirrels own the world, and we are their unwitting pawns, and they destroyed the Smith families' lives.
Squirrels are no joke
Squirrels are no joke
Posted on 9/21/17 at 10:47 pm to Ross
I bribe em with cashews . I think they will take me last .
Posted on 9/21/17 at 10:48 pm to Lsupimp
Those fricks drop acorns on me when I go to my car in the morning.
I see them dead on the road almost daily.
Karma's a bitch.
I see them dead on the road almost daily.
Karma's a bitch.
This post was edited on 9/21/17 at 10:49 pm
Posted on 9/21/17 at 10:57 pm to Lsupimp
I recently introduced a squirrel to the catholic church. He was stealing nuts. I baited and captured the sinner in a metal cage. After he repeatedly ram his head into the inner walls of the cage as a sign of penance, I showed mercy. I released him near a tall, thick Pinus taeda next to the church so he can hear the sermons.
Posted on 9/21/17 at 10:58 pm to Lsupimp
quote:
We asked them to trust us like the pigeons and they refused.
My grandfather used to sit out on his front porch and he had one of them from the yard trained to come up and eat pecans out of his hand. Eventually, I was doing it too. Feeding the squirrels, that is.
This post was edited on 9/21/17 at 11:00 pm
Posted on 9/21/17 at 10:59 pm to Lsupimp
They also violate our trust by eating all the bird feed!
Posted on 9/21/17 at 11:00 pm to JetsetNuggs
quote:
Those fricks drop acorns on me when I go to my car in the morning.
I once lived in a apartment with a shitty roof that allowed the squirrels entry. It sounded like they were bowling with acorns.
Posted on 9/21/17 at 11:01 pm to Godfather1
the Squirrels at Rice are friendly, take and social
the ones in my neighborhood use my jeep to commit suicide weekly, the dart out in the road, I slow down, they scamper I speed up,
the little frickers run right back into the street
BAM ,, squirrels street pie
the ones in my neighborhood use my jeep to commit suicide weekly, the dart out in the road, I slow down, they scamper I speed up,
the little frickers run right back into the street
BAM ,, squirrels street pie
Posted on 9/21/17 at 11:03 pm to lsuwontonwrap
It's one of my favorite episodes.
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