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OT Opinion: Open Adoption
Posted on 10/28/19 at 2:24 pm
Posted on 10/28/19 at 2:24 pm
What say the OT on the topic of Open Adoption?
Inviting the birth mother &/or father to be a part of the adopted child's life, at any/all times, throughout the life of the child-no matter the adoption circumstance (too young, can't afford the kid, drug addicts, etc)
Inviting the birth mother &/or father to be a part of the adopted child's life, at any/all times, throughout the life of the child-no matter the adoption circumstance (too young, can't afford the kid, drug addicts, etc)
18
Posted on 10/28/19 at 2:26 pm to Tigear
I think if everyone is in agreement more power to them.
Posted on 10/28/19 at 2:35 pm to Tigear
Our children were not adopted in that fashion but it is the best decision we have ever made! We hope to adopt our 5 month old that we have in foster care. We go November 11th for a goal change to adoption to get the ball rolling. Our oldest two we adopted a year ago October 4th.
Posted on 10/28/19 at 2:36 pm to Tigear
Consenting adults can do as they please.
Posted on 10/28/19 at 2:38 pm to Tigear
Lost me until there.
If they were too young, ill-prepared, couldn't afford the kid, whatever. But why would you want to expose the child to crack heads, low-life scumbags, felons, pieces of shite, etc?
quote:
no matter the adoption circumstance (too young, can't afford the kid, drug addicts, etc)
If they were too young, ill-prepared, couldn't afford the kid, whatever. But why would you want to expose the child to crack heads, low-life scumbags, felons, pieces of shite, etc?
This post was edited on 10/28/19 at 2:40 pm
Posted on 10/28/19 at 2:45 pm to Tigear
Might work in theory, rarely ever does in practice.
Posted on 10/28/19 at 2:47 pm to Tigear
I agree with the idea in theory. I would have concerns that over time the biological parents could get their act together and then take the kid away from you. Or - position themselves as the parents but rely on you to provide housing, food, and healthcare. I would have no issue with the child knowing his biological parents, even having a relationship, but 100% Open? Boundaries are healthy.
Posted on 10/28/19 at 2:49 pm to Tigear
props to anybody who can give a child a good life. if letting the family remain in contact can work without being a bad influence on the child then why not?
Posted on 10/28/19 at 3:00 pm to Tigear
quote:
What say the OT on the topic of Open Adoption?
It would really depend on the parent. We adopted our son through a closed adoption (safe haven law), but we are still open to having the birth mother have contact as long as it is under our terms. For it to work I think the birth parent needs to realize it really isn't her kid anymore and she has to follow the adoptive parents rules.
Posted on 10/28/19 at 3:58 pm to Manzielathon
I agree with you a point. We're talking about an innocent child & adults who typically screw everything up, at some point.
Is the RISK of Open Adoption worth it to you for your (adopted) child?
Is the RISK of Open Adoption worth it to you for your (adopted) child?
Posted on 10/28/19 at 4:05 pm to Tigear
Seems like there is a lot of potential for things to go poorly. That being said, if it was the only avenue for me to have a child and that's what I really wanted I would probably go for it.
Posted on 10/28/19 at 5:26 pm to Manzielathon
quote:
Consenting adults can do as they please.
I don't understand how that by itself suddenly became sufficient basis for just about anything. It's like, one day somebody said "blah blah consenting adults blah blah," and the rest of us were just too morally retarded to put together a counterargument.
Posted on 10/28/19 at 5:43 pm to Tigear
The adoption agency we used required an open adoption agreement. The birthmother we matched with wanted input on the baby’s name, wanted her family to meet the baby and wanted annual letters from us giving updates about the baby. The meeting with her family and the name thing worked out fine. The birthmother visited us one time when the baby was 6 months old. I stayed awake all night listening in case she tried to take our baby. While we mailed letters and pictures every year until our daughter was a teenager, we never heard from the birth mother or her parents again.
We were not thrilled with open adoption, but we were lucky that the birth mother or her parents never did anything to concern us even though they had our address, etc. We have had other adoption issues, but because of the open adoption agreement.
Best of luck to you if you end up adopting.
We were not thrilled with open adoption, but we were lucky that the birth mother or her parents never did anything to concern us even though they had our address, etc. We have had other adoption issues, but because of the open adoption agreement.
Best of luck to you if you end up adopting.
Posted on 10/28/19 at 5:44 pm to Tigear
The adoption agency we used required an open adoption agreement. The birthmother we matched with wanted input on the baby’s name, wanted her family to meet the baby and wanted annual letters from us giving updates about the baby. The meeting with her family and the name thing worked out fine. The birthmother visited us one time when the baby was 6 months old. I stayed awake all night listening in case she tried to take our baby. While we mailed letters and pictures every year until our daughter was a teenager, we never heard from the birth mother or her parents again.
We were not thrilled with open adoption, but we were lucky that the birth mother or her parents never did anything to concern us even though they had our address, etc. We have had other adoption issues, but because of the open adoption agreement.
Best of luck to you if you end up adopting.
We were not thrilled with open adoption, but we were lucky that the birth mother or her parents never did anything to concern us even though they had our address, etc. We have had other adoption issues, but because of the open adoption agreement.
Best of luck to you if you end up adopting.
Posted on 10/28/19 at 6:17 pm to jchamil
A very good friend was going to become a grandmother and the grandchild was given up to a couple who really wanted a child. The adoption was totally open, the grandchild now has three Grandmothers, and it's good.
It helps that the child's parents were not ready to be parents, there were no drugs or insanity.
It helps that the child's parents were not ready to be parents, there were no drugs or insanity.
Posted on 10/28/19 at 6:19 pm to Drury01
My wife and I adopted my step daughters kids. They were twins and she had them right out of high school. She was living with us at the time and we helped her with them until she decided she didn’t want them. They were about 6 months old.
She finally let us adopt them a year later. We told them they were adopted at around 4. They know their sister gave birth to them, but they know we are their parents.
They are 16 now and their sister interacts with them when she can, but she now has a husband and daughter she is raising. They all get along well, and the twin boy actually goes on vacation with he every year. The girl twin won’t hardly leave me or my wife for a night.
They are both well rounded kids and it has worked out better than I could have imagined. So ours was kind of open, just with a very close relative.
She finally let us adopt them a year later. We told them they were adopted at around 4. They know their sister gave birth to them, but they know we are their parents.
They are 16 now and their sister interacts with them when she can, but she now has a husband and daughter she is raising. They all get along well, and the twin boy actually goes on vacation with he every year. The girl twin won’t hardly leave me or my wife for a night.
They are both well rounded kids and it has worked out better than I could have imagined. So ours was kind of open, just with a very close relative.
Posted on 10/28/19 at 6:19 pm to Tigear
If you’re asking about a law- Government needs to stay out of it.
Posted on 10/28/19 at 7:48 pm to babymaker
My wife and I adopted our daughter 4 years ago. We have been in her life since she was born. The birth mother signed over her parental rights after 5 days. Even though it is an open adoption, the birth mother has made no effort to see our daughter. I believe she has made peace with her decision and has moved on with her life
Posted on 10/28/19 at 7:54 pm to Tigear
I have a cousin that my aunt gave up in a closed adoption. He could have found her, but the adoptive parents never gave him her identity. When they passed away, he found the papers and contacted our family, 36 years later. Unfortunately, my aunt, his birth mother, had died, but we gained a new family member. As an adopted kid, on my dad's side, I have no desire to know who my biological father is. I think it just depends on the circumstances.
Posted on 10/28/19 at 8:02 pm to Tigear
One of my wife's good friends was adopted in the late 60s. She found her birth parents and found out they went on to get married and have like 4 or 5 kids. They were relatively successful and had a very stable life.
So she has full brothers and sisters and a good relationship with her bio dad and mom.
She considers her adopted parents as her real parents but has a relationship with the people who gave her up.
Her adopted mom is good with the bio family and they spend time together. Her adopted dad passed a whole ago but never accepted that she had bio parents she cared for. She always told her dad that her bio dad just gave the DNA but he could not deal with it.
Sort of sad.
I think if you have an adopted kid you should expect the real parents to be part of the kids life.
So she has full brothers and sisters and a good relationship with her bio dad and mom.
She considers her adopted parents as her real parents but has a relationship with the people who gave her up.
Her adopted mom is good with the bio family and they spend time together. Her adopted dad passed a whole ago but never accepted that she had bio parents she cared for. She always told her dad that her bio dad just gave the DNA but he could not deal with it.
Sort of sad.
I think if you have an adopted kid you should expect the real parents to be part of the kids life.
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