re: Need some advice from anyone who's been thru a divorce

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Wife and I are splitting up. I'm 38, make a little over 100K a year. She made 48K last year. We have an 11 year old. What am I looking at gents? Any advice/encouragement would be much appreciated.

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I'm never getting divorced. Either I'll end up dead or she will.

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She's decided she can't do it anymore.

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I'll bet your 11 year old wishes they got a say in having their family torn apart. But hey, whatever's easiest for the adults, right?

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This is real life, not a fairy tale.

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True, it will only work if both parties want it to work, but there's nothing wrong with throwing some solid advice out there.

Just give enough spousal support to where you both have the same amount of gross income

If she asks for more then don't settle in court

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She's decided she can't do it anymore.

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Why? Why can't she do it anymore? What can't she do?

Your situation mirrors mine in many ways (years together, kids, income). It's a shame things don't work out, especially for the children. And counseling doesn't work if you're the only one going & trying to save the marriage.

A few takeaways from my experience: (1) Try to minimize any spousal support or avoid it altogether. An 8 year marriage should be short enough to avoid it. A divorce after 20+ years means you are paying her to the grave. At least child support ends at age 18.

(2) Don't pay for everything. You will quickly find yourself paying for health insurance, dental, doc bills, etc. Your future ex should split extracurricular costs with you. If junior wants to play travel ball, she should pay half especially if you have joint custody.

(3) Get her to agree in the divorce judgement that she will share half the child tax credit & deductions with you. If she ends up as the custodial parent, you won't be able to claim junior on your taxes even though I bet you will shoulder more of the bills.

Still there a lot of finer points you need an attorney to guide you on. But just give your future ex only what your legally required to pay and not a penny more.

I would never do that to my son. He'll be very loved by both of us.

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I'll bet your 11 year old wishes they got a say in having their family torn apart. But hey, whatever's easiest for the adults, right?

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i was relieved when my parents divorced around this age. all the bickering and fighting, i could tell both were unhappy and it was uncomfortable being with both of them anywhere.

We were together for 10yrs, married for 2. Mine couldn't afford an attorney. No kids... my lawyer was mediator. I could have cleaned that bitches clock but I remained civil.

I kept the house (mistake...lost 20k on the back end, but so be it).
She kept all the debt she earned (honestly have no clue how much debt she had but while we were separated the big dummy transferred all of "our" debt somehow and put it on her grandma's credit cards or some shite because it had lower interest than what we were paying, so that relived me from any of that nonsense. Also, she/her parents, inherited the cost of a wedding at White Oak Plantation for 400 people and we had the best of every damn thang and it was well over $100/head. We also requested no small children (babies) because they charge for those little bastards as well and there were many! Almost like it was a challenge. As well as well as debt from the all inclusive two week honeymoon to Cabo & St. Lucia.

Lawyer begged me to take every penny she put into the banks until she would agree to close joint account (took her weeks but I didn't take anything). I didn't go after anything even though I had her bent over a barrel. I just wanted to cut ties and walk away.




Only advice.... HAVE NO PITTY.... GUT THE BITCH!