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Started By
Message
re: Need Miscarriage Advice (update Pg 3, Miscarriage Official)
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:02 am to Chad504boy
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:02 am to Chad504boy
quote:
miscarriages happen. tell him to get back on that saddle. my wife had one early, she got immediately preggo again and there's been zero trouble.
You do realize this is not always a couple's experience with miscarriage? Not every woman just gets pregnant right away after one with no issues.
I mean, I'm glad you and your wife had such a happy ending and all and while miscarriages are more common than people think, still doesn't mean you can just minimize them as something so minor and not worth getting upset over.
1
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:06 am to maisweh
This is very difficult and painful event and it impacts different families in different ways. It hurts. Bad. No words are helpful. Tell him you are terribly sorry and leave it at that. As his boss just let him know he has whatever flexibility he needs at work for a while to help his wife.
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:07 am to lsunurse
quote:
You do realize this is not always a couple's experience with miscarriage? Not every woman just gets pregnant right away after one with no issues.
I mean, I'm glad you and your wife had such a happy ending and all and while miscarriages are more common than people think, still doesn't mean you can just minimize them as something so minor and not worth getting upset over.
I do, and since we're limited with details, it very well may be the case. if someone had such a hard time getting preggo, they should be somewhat mentally prepared the first trimester. Look i understand the feelings of embarassment, failure, being upset, and all that good stuff but i tend to think generally speaking, if someone gets THAT upset for a prolonged period of time to the extreme, its usually someone seeking attention.
When it happened to us, i mean we were sad and upset for a few days but never was it the end of the world nor did i honestly feel a loss of a tangible attachment/bond i had with the fetus the size of a nickel.
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:11 am to Austin Cajun
quote:
But you weren't attached to it yet. There was no bond, you didn't know if it was a boy or a girl, it hadn't been named, nothing. None of the changes that take place in life with a child had happened at that point. Hell, the woman's body had barely begun the process.
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:15 am to Chad504boy
quote:
When it happened to us, i mean we were sad and upset for a few days but never was it the end of the world nor did i honestly feel a loss of a tangible attachment/bond i had with the fetus the size of a nickel.
Yeah, but that is how you two dealt with it. It doesn't mean that every other couple should feel the same way. Again...it is still a loss. A loss that needs to be grieved. For some this period of grieving may be short lived and they are able to quickly move on(never forget, but move on). For others, it just takes more time. Everyone grieves differently is the main point I'm trying to get across to you.
quote:
if someone gets THAT upset for a prolonged period of time to the extreme, its usually someone seeking attention.
Def not the situation with my friend. She is 37 like myself and sees her window to motherhood getting smaller and smaller each day. Expensive fertility treatments are not something her and her husband can afford so instead they were trying less invasive/costly fertility treatments. Her first miscarriage happened the day before she hit 12 weeks(I didn't even know she was pregnant cause she was waiting until after 12 weeks to announce). Her second miscarriage at 8 weeks. Even though she is moving on and hasn't crawled into a ball of depression, shutting out the entire world, I can tell she is just emotionally gutted over this...which is totally understandable.
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:16 am to maisweh
Haven't dealt with a miscarriage but I have seen enough preterm fetuses and babies with severe abnormalities to realize that a first semester miscarriage is a blessing in disguise. Grieving is fine, but other couples are in a much worse situation, so making too big a deal out if it in public or on social media is tacky. It's not the same as losing a child or having one born with terminal congenital defects.
This post was edited on 10/14/15 at 11:17 am
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:17 am to lsunurse
quote:
She is 37 like myself
honest question, why'd she wait so long?
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:18 am to Chad504boy
quote:
honest question, why'd she wait so long?
Not everyone gets married at 22 you know
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:18 am to Chad504boy
quote:
Chad504boy
Of all people here, I figured you'd get it.
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:19 am to lsunurse
quote:
Not everyone gets married at 22 you know
well, that's part of the consequences of waiting.
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:23 am to Chad504boy
Yeah well life doesn't always turn out exactly the way one planned. Sometimes you just have to make the best out of what was given to you. Some choose to wait until later to get married as a personal choice. Some don't get married till later because they were not in relationships that could actually progress to a healthy marriage until they were a little older.
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:23 am to USAF Hart
That is a tough call. I have been through a miscarriage 10+ years ago and just reading your post is hard.
Be a good listener it will be a reminder but it is not like people should stop having children.
My child's name was Casey Francios and I think about them almost everyday. It is just a fact of life.
Be a good listener it will be a reminder but it is not like people should stop having children.
My child's name was Casey Francios and I think about them almost everyday. It is just a fact of life.
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:24 am to lsunurse
quote:
Yeah well life doesn't always turn out exactly the way one planned. Sometimes you just have to make the best out of what was given to you
mmm hmmmm
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:27 am to lsunurse
Old school/my mom/aunts, did not make big deals out of miscarriages. Times have changed, I understand. People aren't having big families. I know plenty of people trying to start families @ age 35 plus. Each that I have known, suffers miscarriage, premature labor and so on. It is a statistical fact that the older a female the higher all of these risks go. I am not saying these people have no right to grieve but in most cases, it was their decision to wait.
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:28 am to Mid Iowa Tiger
My friend has posted pics like these on fb recently.
This photographer has been doing family pictures like that for couples that have experienced miscarriages in the past.
This photographer has been doing family pictures like that for couples that have experienced miscarriages in the past.
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:30 am to lsunurse
please tell me that's not all their mc's ghost shadows?
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:30 am to lsunurse
Really?
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:30 am to Chad504boy
Yep, that couple had 5 miscarriages
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:31 am to lsunurse
quote:
Yep, that couple had 5 miscarriages
as previously stated in my paragraph you down voted, Attention Seeking.
Posted on 10/14/15 at 11:32 am to USAF Hart
quote:
Well this morning, they informed us that the worst has happened. They had a miscarriage. It sucks. To compound things, he just lost his grandfather (who raised him since he was 2, so essentially his father) about 3 weeks ago. I've offered to be the person who he or his wife can vent to. I've opened up the possibility for them to get counseling if that's the route they want to go.
Good deal, you're a good friend. Sad news for them.
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