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Nation's Racists Repent After Reading Statement On Equality From Hidden Valley Ranch
Posted on 6/5/20 at 11:05 am
Posted on 6/5/20 at 11:05 am
quote:
White supremacists across the country said they were holding out despite hundreds of corporations declaring their support for equality on Blackout Tuesday. But finally, the scales fell from their eyes by the thousands as they saw Hidden Valley Ranch's powerful statement that they oppose inequality.
quote:
"I had been so blind before, but once I saw that Hidden Valley Ranch upholds the humanity of people of all races, I realized I needed to reexamine my biases," said Chet Bernard of Denton, Texas. "I held out through the statements of Tide Pods, Bratz, Ben & Jerry's, and GameStop. But once I saw that the minds who create the delicious ranch dressing I have every day believe in the equality of all humanity, I saw the error of my ways."
quote:
The former racists covered up their swastika tattoos, burned their MAGA hats, bought Che Guevara shirts on Amazon (since that giant corporation also supports the protests), and joined people of color in their towns in protesting police brutality.
BabylonBee Link
5
Posted on 6/5/20 at 11:08 am to Randman
You could substitute COVID for racism and not miss a beat.
Posted on 6/5/20 at 11:12 am to Randman
Babylon Bee proves how much good material is being left on the table in modern comedy since 90% of it only makes fun of one side of the political spectrum, and frankly the far less ridiculous side at that. See SNL for further proof.
This post was edited on 6/5/20 at 11:21 am
Posted on 6/5/20 at 11:27 am to Randman
Lol
Posted on 6/5/20 at 11:31 am to Randman
quote:
bought Che Guevara shirts on Amazon (since that giant corporation also supports the protests)
quote:
In January 1957, as his diary from the Sierra Maestra indicates, Guevara shot Eutimio Guerra because he suspected him of passing on information: “I ended the problem with a .32 caliber pistol, in the right side of his brain.... His belongings were now mine.” Later he shot Aristidio, a peasant who expressed the desire to leave whenever the rebels moved on. While he wondered whether this particular victim “was really guilty enough to deserve death,” he had no qualms about ordering the death of Echevarría, a brother of one of his comrades, because of unspecified crimes: “He had to pay the price.” At other times he would simulate executions without carrying them out, as a method of psychological torture.
Posted on 6/5/20 at 11:36 am to Randman
I like the way the made up person was from Denton Texas.
I dated a vegetarian from Denton, who was liberal as shite... It's one of those Texas cities full of white guilt, slowly turning blue...
I dated a vegetarian from Denton, who was liberal as shite... It's one of those Texas cities full of white guilt, slowly turning blue...
This post was edited on 6/5/20 at 11:43 am
Posted on 6/5/20 at 11:39 am to Prominentwon
For me, it was Midol’s promotion of “we’re all in this together.”
Now mind you, they had used the same vague slogan with sappy background music and clasped hands during the corona pandemic, to no effect on me. I was still out stomping on black ants in my klan hood.
But when they released “we are all in this together” with the hashtag “burnitalldown”...well, I real sire what a fool I had been.
I threw down my hood, picked up my mask, and hand in hand with a black brother we broke into a local pharmacy. While there we tied up and beat those agents of evil capitalism (the techs) in harmony and solidarity with the oppressed.
Then we bravely liberated the best opioids we could find, to fight racism and sexism you see.
And now, from a burnt out foot locker, I begin to see thr errur gjtk tormynt aodnrn asssssssssssssssss.................
Now mind you, they had used the same vague slogan with sappy background music and clasped hands during the corona pandemic, to no effect on me. I was still out stomping on black ants in my klan hood.
But when they released “we are all in this together” with the hashtag “burnitalldown”...well, I real sire what a fool I had been.
I threw down my hood, picked up my mask, and hand in hand with a black brother we broke into a local pharmacy. While there we tied up and beat those agents of evil capitalism (the techs) in harmony and solidarity with the oppressed.
Then we bravely liberated the best opioids we could find, to fight racism and sexism you see.
And now, from a burnt out foot locker, I begin to see thr errur gjtk tormynt aodnrn asssssssssssssssss.................
Posted on 6/5/20 at 12:52 pm to Big_Slim
Babylon bee is best in the business now
Posted on 6/5/20 at 1:08 pm to Hangover Haven
quote:
Denton
Home of the ding dong daddy
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