- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: My Mom has been getting worse with her dementia
Posted on 3/29/24 at 2:40 pm to ManWithNoNsme
Posted on 3/29/24 at 2:40 pm to ManWithNoNsme
quote:
Keep Social Services out if possible. They will make her a “ward of the State” and bleed her dry of assets. That happened to my sister.
Get Power of Attorney both financially and medically…yes, they are separate entities. Transfer any valuable assets, like house and land out of her name or they can possibly be seized by the evil State and Social Services.
Don't try to do any of this without a lawyer, preferably one who specializes in elder care. It's a niche field and a general practice lawyer may not be familiar with all the nuances. There are ways to successfully shield assets, but if you do it wrong it can leave your loved one ineligible for medicaid.
1
Posted on 3/29/24 at 2:42 pm to Pisco
Terrible disease. Prayers to you and your family
Posted on 3/29/24 at 2:47 pm to PetermanFanClub
quote:
Been through this with my dear mother. Just be there and be present. Love her and show her affection. Kiss and hug her.
This is important, I think. Hug her, talk to her, take her out to eat (order for her), go for rides, and remember that she is doing the best she can.
I had to lay clothes out for my mom, otherwise she dressed like a homeless person -- and she had been a clothes hound all her life.
Try to arrange things to limit potential problems. My mom was plugging along alright until she fell and broke a hip and arm. The surgery went great and she was up and walking two days later, then she just shut down and died a couple of days after that.
Posted on 3/29/24 at 2:57 pm to Pisco
Ice cream helps
Source: the guy installed in the White House currently
But in all seriousness prayers sent baw
Source: the guy installed in the White House currently
But in all seriousness prayers sent baw
Posted on 3/29/24 at 2:58 pm to Jim Rockford
Exactly right. My brother in law had a normal lawyer and was blindsided by the Social Services and Courts in Columbiana, Al. Damn near lost everything…and he would have if my sister hadn’t died first.
Posted on 3/29/24 at 3:02 pm to ManWithNoNsme
They already seized the bank account and vehicle. They were working on house and land when she died. Makes my blood boil thinking about it….all legal too.
Sorry. I didn’t mean to derail your thread…carry on.
Sorry. I didn’t mean to derail your thread…carry on.
This post was edited on 3/29/24 at 3:14 pm
Posted on 3/29/24 at 3:19 pm to Pisco
I have a close neighbor with it and my grandmother had it. It is a sad thing to watch. Sorry you have to experience this.
Posted on 3/29/24 at 3:27 pm to Pisco
Having Spent 28 years in the Senior Housing Industry, this is the most stressful
Time for families.
I learned how to detect it, how to cope.
Often my Clients family would comment “ how do you stay so calm? Answering the same questions over and over.
Unfortunately Senior Housing are the best but she cannot afford it.
Medicaid facilities are low cost or no cost.
But you do not want her in one of these facilities.
Posted on 3/29/24 at 3:36 pm to Pisco
Sorry about your situation with your mother. It’s a terrible disease. Prayers offered for y’all.
This hits close to home since I basically see my InLaws’ every day and MIL has the onset of dementia. She is sleeping a lot during the day and is confused about lots of things. FIL is keeping his sanity so for at least now it’s all manageable.
This hits close to home since I basically see my InLaws’ every day and MIL has the onset of dementia. She is sleeping a lot during the day and is confused about lots of things. FIL is keeping his sanity so for at least now it’s all manageable.
Posted on 3/29/24 at 3:41 pm to BluegrassBelle
quote:
Has she received an official Alzheimer's diagnosis from a doctor at this point? If she has (and I highly recommend getting her to one if she hasn't) and she's on Medicaid she should qualify for in-home care.
Correct. She has to be diagnosed with dementia in order for her to be put in a nursing home or a dementia program. So get her to a doctor asap. At least thats how it is in Louisiana. We just put father in law in nursing home and he has to sell all his assets to pay for nursing home and then after that Medicaid kicks in
Posted on 3/29/24 at 3:58 pm to Double Oh
That is not necessarily true . See an elder care lawyer.
Posted on 3/29/24 at 4:05 pm to Jim Rockford
quote:
That is not necessarily true . See an elder care lawyer.
Whats not true?
Posted on 3/29/24 at 4:18 pm to Pisco
My mother and my father had Alzhiemer's. My mother passed away. My father is still hanging on.
The one thing I can definitely say is that you guys CANNOT take care of her. This will take up 100% of your time and will leave you exhausted. Insurance to help pay for memory care helps a lot. Get her into memory care. They are trained for this. You are not.
The one thing I can definitely say is that you guys CANNOT take care of her. This will take up 100% of your time and will leave you exhausted. Insurance to help pay for memory care helps a lot. Get her into memory care. They are trained for this. You are not.
Posted on 3/29/24 at 4:24 pm to Pisco
my dad has Lewey Body and late stage Dementia for a few years, and it is getting worse.
for him, there are days he is completely there, few and far between that they are, and other days he is like a petulant child. he is verbally abusive and a complete dick. we understand it is mostly the dementia and just let it roll by.
lately he is forgetting my mom, who is his primary care giver, he has forgotten my wife's name, and they called me on my birthday and sang happy birthday, and when they hung up he asked who they were singing to - and when my mom said Mike, your son - he genuinely did not remember I was his son.
now recently he hallucinates all the time, he forgets the same thing he asked 4 or 5 mins earlier, and he sleeps a lot.
im not sure how much time we have left, but it is a bittersweet feeling knowing it will be sad to lose him, but glad that he is not suffering inside his own prison in his mind.
OP, we may not have the same situations with our folks, but I do understand what you are going through - cause I am there almost daily.
my advice is patience - most of what she is doing/saying/not doing is 100% the dementia, and they cannot fully understand what they are doing, or the impact of it. getting mad at them doesn't help them, and it doesn't make the situation any better.
it is damn hard man, and I'm tearing up typing this - but my advice is no matter what, do your best to have patience.
for him, there are days he is completely there, few and far between that they are, and other days he is like a petulant child. he is verbally abusive and a complete dick. we understand it is mostly the dementia and just let it roll by.
lately he is forgetting my mom, who is his primary care giver, he has forgotten my wife's name, and they called me on my birthday and sang happy birthday, and when they hung up he asked who they were singing to - and when my mom said Mike, your son - he genuinely did not remember I was his son.
now recently he hallucinates all the time, he forgets the same thing he asked 4 or 5 mins earlier, and he sleeps a lot.
im not sure how much time we have left, but it is a bittersweet feeling knowing it will be sad to lose him, but glad that he is not suffering inside his own prison in his mind.
OP, we may not have the same situations with our folks, but I do understand what you are going through - cause I am there almost daily.
my advice is patience - most of what she is doing/saying/not doing is 100% the dementia, and they cannot fully understand what they are doing, or the impact of it. getting mad at them doesn't help them, and it doesn't make the situation any better.
it is damn hard man, and I'm tearing up typing this - but my advice is no matter what, do your best to have patience.
Posted on 3/29/24 at 4:30 pm to Pisco
quote:
Lately she’s been sleeping late into the day. She’s gone almost two weeks without taking a shower and we have to beg her to do it.
Don't beg. Simply redirect, and say, "it's time to take your bath. The water is ready for you." If you have a female in your family that is close to your mother's location, this most likely can be accomplished with them assisting as opposed to a male. Even with her mind being gone, she still knows what dignity is (in regard to undressing). If she refuses, try again a few minutes later, but don't get her agitated. One other suggestion, tell her it's time for a "spa day." Have candles ready, light music, bubble bath, etc. You're going to have to get creative.
quote:
How have you dealt with people who go through this?
I have over 14 years in senior care industry. The Alzheimer's Services of Greater Baton Rouge is a great resource.
This post was edited on 3/29/24 at 4:37 pm
Posted on 3/29/24 at 4:33 pm to Pisco
quote:
Pisco
quote:
My Mom has been getting worse with her dementia
One other suggestion. If your mother has a diagnosis of Dementia, she will automatically qualify for palliative or hospice care, which I highly recommend. She will receive services at her home two times a week, maybe more, depending on her needs. This includes incontinence products, and assisting with bathing. This is billed to her insurance and it's absolutely free. There is no reason why you should not take advantage of this.
I have a few hospice companies I can recommend, if you are in the BR area.
Posted on 3/29/24 at 4:35 pm to Double Oh
quote:
She has to be diagnosed with dementia in order for her to be put in a nursing home or a dementia program.
There are memory care communities that do not require a dementia diagnosis. Many of these are private pay, but they do help process long-term care insurance reimbursement paperwork.
Note, memory care communities are different than nursing homes.
Posted on 3/29/24 at 4:37 pm to Pisco
Sorry to hear this bro. Prayers for you and your family.
Posted on 3/29/24 at 4:42 pm to Aubie Spr96
Condolences. Doing a very unwelcome intervention on mom’s hoarding right now ourselves. Tossed out pills from 1972 while ago.
Posted on 3/29/24 at 4:45 pm to Pisco
I lost my mine last month after a 4 year battle with dementia. It sucks man. Fortunately we had the resources to have sitters 24/7 her last couple years. Your best bet is hospice. They can check on her daily and ensure she gets baths at least a few times a week.
Page 3 of 7
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News