re: My girlfriend gave me an ultimatum.

quote:

---

I don't think the arcane, at times arbitrary and greatly punishing legal rules that have been built up around it in modern times have anything to do with it though. Hence my splitting of the two out earlier - there's marriage as a social institution, which I have no problem with, and marriage as a legal one, which I think is totally broken and best avoided even if you intend to lead a life in harmony with traditional views of marriage as a social institution.

---

I’m mainly referring to the guys who are completely against marriage full stop. A lot of the “red pill” types wouldn’t even take the time to consider the different aspects of it like you’re doing here.

quote:

---

Ask the Mexicans, seriously I don't mean to be trite, but people do it all the time.

---

Fair enough but people do lots of things en masse that I don’t think is particularly good for them or anyone else.

quote:

---

You can also enter into more limited legally binding agreements over select issues without going all the way in on marriage - for instance, your state might let you grant limited power of attorney to your girl to make medical decisions for you if you're incapacitated (and vice versa if she is). Or, even though she's not a legal heir and wouldn't have a right to your estate if you died intestate, you can plan your estate to leave her property when you die.

---

You can, but the average person is absolutely not going to do this. And if they try, it’s more likely to be a convoluted mess that works worse than legal marriage.

I listen to the Dave Ramsey show kind of frequently and people constantly call in with problems related to estate plans (as an example) that are nonsensically contrived, and being a party to them has become a nightmare for them. I have zero faith in the average person doing an “a la carte” legal marriage well.

To be honest, I think a lot of this is beside the point anyway. With some effort, the likelihood of divorce can be made to be insignificant and even if it does go there, the man is not guaranteed to get screwed over. The downside has become completely overblown.

Until I find "the one" ,if she really exists, fwb been working for me