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Started By
Message
My dad doesn't give a flip
Posted on 3/1/18 at 12:26 am
Posted on 3/1/18 at 12:26 am
So earlier today my dad couldn't stand up. His legs were feeling weak and he couldn't get up without someone helping him. Anyway, we went to the doctor's office to find out why his legs went to shite all of a sudden.
I had to wheel him in with a wheelchair. While we're sitting in the waiting room, he decides he needs to piss. So he covers himself with a shirt we brought him, grabs his piss jug and commences to piss right in the waiting room.
Next thing he starts to pick his nose with great enthusiasm.
Then he goes to sleep.
I look forward to the day I can do these things in public and not give a shite what anybody thinks.
Anyway he's feeling better. It was likely a combination of allergies, being dehydrated and the beginnings of pneumonia.
I had to wheel him in with a wheelchair. While we're sitting in the waiting room, he decides he needs to piss. So he covers himself with a shirt we brought him, grabs his piss jug and commences to piss right in the waiting room.
Next thing he starts to pick his nose with great enthusiasm.
Then he goes to sleep.
I look forward to the day I can do these things in public and not give a shite what anybody thinks.
Anyway he's feeling better. It was likely a combination of allergies, being dehydrated and the beginnings of pneumonia.
This post was edited on 3/1/18 at 12:28 am
10
Posted on 3/1/18 at 12:27 am to Langland
He has a piss jug?
This post was edited on 3/1/18 at 12:28 am
Posted on 3/1/18 at 12:29 am to djangochained
quote:
He has a piss jug?
He has a plastic container thingy to piss in.
Posted on 3/1/18 at 12:29 am to Langland
Tell PJ I hope he feels better in the morning
Posted on 3/1/18 at 12:45 am to Langland
My dad and I were night fishing around lit up docks for snook a few years back in his flats boat.
We were anchored up about 30 ft off of a dock that was producing a lot of nice fish when all of a sudden, he says "I've really got to take a shite".
I laughed, of course, and then moved up to the front of the boat to pull the anchor up. Well, he didn't want to leave that spot because the fishing was awesome, so he decided to pull down his shorts, hold on to the poling platform so he could hover his arse right over the water, and proceeded to grow a tail..right in front of the people that were chilling out on said dock.
Half the people on the dock (probably 5 or 6 people) were laughing, the other half were disgusted.
It's the hardest I've ever laughed in my life.
We were anchored up about 30 ft off of a dock that was producing a lot of nice fish when all of a sudden, he says "I've really got to take a shite".
I laughed, of course, and then moved up to the front of the boat to pull the anchor up. Well, he didn't want to leave that spot because the fishing was awesome, so he decided to pull down his shorts, hold on to the poling platform so he could hover his arse right over the water, and proceeded to grow a tail..right in front of the people that were chilling out on said dock.
Half the people on the dock (probably 5 or 6 people) were laughing, the other half were disgusted.
It's the hardest I've ever laughed in my life.
Posted on 3/1/18 at 1:26 am to stuntman
Y'alls dads are gross.
Posted on 3/1/18 at 2:07 am to lsuwontonwrap
quote:
Y'alls dads are gross.
No, at some point in life us old men could give a frick what we do.
But really, when we have to go, we have to go right there and now. 
Posted on 3/1/18 at 2:16 am to lsuwontonwrap
quote:
Y'alls dads are gross.
When you're in the middle of an epic fishing trip like that night was, priorities change.
Posted on 3/1/18 at 6:14 am to djangochained
quote:Do you not?
He has a piss jug?
Posted on 3/1/18 at 6:16 am to Langland
Old people are funny.
My old man hasn't moved to the disgusting stage yet, but he no longer has a brain to mouth filter. He will say exactly what he thinks to whomever.
My old man hasn't moved to the disgusting stage yet, but he no longer has a brain to mouth filter. He will say exactly what he thinks to whomever.
This post was edited on 3/1/18 at 6:17 am
Posted on 3/1/18 at 6:27 am to Langland
quote:
My dad doesn't give a flip
You Dad is an alpha......learn Grasshopper, learn
Posted on 3/1/18 at 6:36 am to Langland
quote:
combination of allergies, being dehydrated and the beginnings of pneumonia.
What quack of a doctor did yall go see to get this diagnosis?
Posted on 3/1/18 at 6:50 am to ksayetiger
quote:
What quack of a doctor did yall go see to get this diagnosis?
What do you mean?
Posted on 3/1/18 at 7:00 am to stuntman
A buddy of mine went fishing with this girl who pretty much did the same thing. Although it happened in the open water. She kept telling him to sing loudly because she was backfiring.
Posted on 3/1/18 at 7:05 am to Athis
I'm not shitting if I can't wipe my arse after. And if I'm about to go in my pants and absolutely half to, I'm jumping in and at least letting the water somewhat clean my arse post shite.
Posted on 3/1/18 at 7:07 am to Athis
quote:
A buddy of mine went fishing with this girl who pretty much did the same thing. Although it happened in the open water. She kept telling him to sing loudly because she was backfiring.
What's that old saying? "If you're ever nervous about talking to a good looking woman, just imagine her red-faced on a toilet seat trying to push one out" something like that?
Either way, it's just a saying and I would prefer to not have to be in that situation your friend described.
Posted on 3/1/18 at 7:12 am to RealityTiger
quote:
And if I'm about to go in my pants and absolutely half to, I'm jumping in and at least letting the water somewhat clean my arse post shite.
In disgusting arse lake water? frick that.
Posted on 3/1/18 at 7:14 am to Langland
I've said it once, and I will say it again.
Old people do not give a frick
Old people do not give a frick
Posted on 3/1/18 at 7:14 am to Langland
Had an uncle once with diabetic neuropathy and couldn't feel anything.
He'd shite his pants then get up and start walking leaving a trail of turds behind him.
DGAF
He'd shite his pants then get up and start walking leaving a trail of turds behind him.
DGAF
Posted on 3/1/18 at 7:23 am to RealityTiger
quote:Does your boat not have a bidet? Damn trashy OT poor I tell you.
I'm not shitting if I can't wipe my arse after. And if I'm about to go in my pants and absolutely half to, I'm jumping in and at least letting the water somewhat clean my arse post shite.
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