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Mother’s Day
Posted on 5/8/20 at 1:02 pm
Posted on 5/8/20 at 1:02 pm
Over time I’ve learned that men approach this holiday with vast disparity. I know some men who treat the mother of their children and their own mothers like queens on this day, cooking a nice meal or treating them to a great meal out, taking the load off mom by dealing with responsibilities with kids that day, flowers and a gift, etc.
I’ve also met some men with kids who say my wife isn’t my mother, so I’m not doing anything for her. I’ve always been a little taken aback by that, and initially thought it was isolated to the few people I’d heard that from, but it’s a more popular sentiment than I once thought. In particular, one of my aunts is married to a man like this, even though she raised her own children as well as the kids he brought into the marriage when they were pretty young. Always thought he was a jerk.
What do y’all do for your mom and wives (assuming you have kids) for Mother’s Day?
I’ve also met some men with kids who say my wife isn’t my mother, so I’m not doing anything for her. I’ve always been a little taken aback by that, and initially thought it was isolated to the few people I’d heard that from, but it’s a more popular sentiment than I once thought. In particular, one of my aunts is married to a man like this, even though she raised her own children as well as the kids he brought into the marriage when they were pretty young. Always thought he was a jerk.
What do y’all do for your mom and wives (assuming you have kids) for Mother’s Day?
This post was edited on 5/8/20 at 1:03 pm
Posted on 5/8/20 at 1:07 pm to tigerbandpiccolo
Am i supposed to do something for my mother in law since she's she mother of the mother of my kids and she's my kids grandmother?
What about her mother?
Where do we draw the line?
What about her mother?
Where do we draw the line?
Posted on 5/8/20 at 1:08 pm to tigerbandpiccolo
I'm of the "she's not my mom" stance. She gets flowers, breakfast in bed and to generally take it easy around the house that day.
I'm certainly not going out of the way to get her expensive gifts or anything like that. It is a day to appreciate her, not canonize her.
I expect the same or lesser treatment from my wife for Father's day.
I did help my toddler make her a homemade card this year though since school wasn't open to help him with that.
I'm certainly not going out of the way to get her expensive gifts or anything like that. It is a day to appreciate her, not canonize her.
I expect the same or lesser treatment from my wife for Father's day.
I did help my toddler make her a homemade card this year though since school wasn't open to help him with that.
Posted on 5/8/20 at 1:09 pm to tgrbaitn08
I never mentioned mother in law, but it’s a valid point. I personally like to at least honor the moms I’m close to. My mother in law is getting a gift from all of us (not just from her son) just like the gift for my own mom is from all of us, not just me.
I get my grandmother a card and make sure to call her since I don’t live close enough to visit.
I get my grandmother a card and make sure to call her since I don’t live close enough to visit.
Posted on 5/8/20 at 1:10 pm to tigerbandpiccolo
quote:
I get my grandmother a card and make sure to call her since I don’t live close enough to visit.
What do you do for her on grandparents day?
Posted on 5/8/20 at 1:10 pm to tigerbandpiccolo
quote:
men with kids who say my wife isn’t my mother
Do those guys really expect young kids to take the responsibility to get gifts? Or cook? or whatever" Even if it's making a card or something, you've gotta at least help them. Hell, even when the kids are older, they don't understand enough. Most people don't understand what a "Mom" is really responsible for until they are much older than what can even be considered to be a "kid".
Guys who take that attitude are trying to hard to look like an a-hole. In reality they're just pissed because they know their wife is getting railed by Jody but can't ever catch the act.
Posted on 5/8/20 at 1:10 pm to Boudreaux35
quote:
In reality they're just pissed because they know their wife is getting railed by Jody but can't ever catch the act.
You're projecting again...
Posted on 5/8/20 at 1:11 pm to tigerbandpiccolo
I get gifts for my mother, my ex wife who is the mother of my son, and my SO who is a mother and I respect her.
This post was edited on 5/8/20 at 1:11 pm
Posted on 5/8/20 at 1:11 pm to Displaced
I think doing all of that is great, so I really don’t think you fall into the “she’s not my mom” stance as much as you think. The ones I’m talking about literally do nothing for their wives/mother of their kid(s) on this day.
Like you said, it’s a day to appreciate but not canonize. I don’t think most mothers want anything more than that at all, though there’s always the entitled few in every group.
I think Father’s Day should be treated the same way, at least I’ve always approached it that way.
Like you said, it’s a day to appreciate but not canonize. I don’t think most mothers want anything more than that at all, though there’s always the entitled few in every group.
I think Father’s Day should be treated the same way, at least I’ve always approached it that way.
Posted on 5/8/20 at 1:11 pm to tigerbandpiccolo
FTR, I got my wife a GC to HighBrow, sent my mom flowers and will go visit her Sunday.
My wife and her sister are at my MIL house this weekend so I sent flowers and chocolates for all 3 of them since they will all be together.
ETA: I sent one bouquet of flowers and one box of chocolates for them the share...all from the kids....me and my BIL split the cost.
My wife and her sister are at my MIL house this weekend so I sent flowers and chocolates for all 3 of them since they will all be together.
ETA: I sent one bouquet of flowers and one box of chocolates for them the share...all from the kids....me and my BIL split the cost.
This post was edited on 5/8/20 at 1:14 pm
Posted on 5/8/20 at 1:12 pm to Displaced
I invite them to my kid’s school program that is geared towards honoring and celebrating their grandparents
And if they’re up for it, we go eat at a family friendly restaurant after.
Posted on 5/8/20 at 1:14 pm to tigerbandpiccolo
Ehhh, maybe.
I will add that for mother's day, my mom gets an expensive flower arrangement delivered to her door. My wife gets the $15 Publix special on my way home from the gym that morning
I will add that for mother's day, my mom gets an expensive flower arrangement delivered to her door. My wife gets the $15 Publix special on my way home from the gym that morning
Posted on 5/8/20 at 1:15 pm to tgrbaitn08
That’s very sweet.
And to the poster who asked about helping kids of younger kids make a card—agreed. At least guide and encourage them to do something sweet like that. You’re right, even as a teenager I didn’t really know the real challenge that being a parent was, so I didn’t take Mother’s Day or Father’s Day seriously. My dad always got my mom flowers, a nice gift that was usually something she was wanting anyway, and made a great lunch for the entire family of aunts and grandmas.
And to the poster who asked about helping kids of younger kids make a card—agreed. At least guide and encourage them to do something sweet like that. You’re right, even as a teenager I didn’t really know the real challenge that being a parent was, so I didn’t take Mother’s Day or Father’s Day seriously. My dad always got my mom flowers, a nice gift that was usually something she was wanting anyway, and made a great lunch for the entire family of aunts and grandmas.
Posted on 5/8/20 at 1:19 pm to tigerbandpiccolo
I get mine a card and a flower arrangement. You know, typical shite. But as far as how I treat her, I don't treat her any different than the other 364 days out of the year. With love and respect. We approach the kids as a team, I don't leave her out to hang and dry on all our mom and dad duties, help around the house, help clean, cook, etc. Even though I work a crazier schedule and usually longer hours than her, I still help out on everything.
None of that ever changes just because it's Mother's Day. It's how it should be.
None of that ever changes just because it's Mother's Day. It's how it should be.
Posted on 5/8/20 at 1:20 pm to Displaced
Publix and Kroger have great flowers, all you gotta do is come home and throw them in a vase and you’re golden! I know this sounds silly, but when my husband buys me flowers, I appreciate it 10 times more If he actually goes through the trouble of unwrapping them, trimming, and putting them in a vase. Versus laying them on the counter for me to do.
Don’t get me wrong, I like getting them and appreciate it either way, but the sentiment is much nicer when he does it.
Don’t get me wrong, I like getting them and appreciate it either way, but the sentiment is much nicer when he does it.
Posted on 5/8/20 at 1:23 pm to RealityTiger
So true, but not all men are cut from the same cloth when it comes to that. I have soooo many friends back home in BR who’s husbands thought like that. For some reason up here in Little Rock the majority of my friends, who work the same or more than husbands, handle 90% of the house work and parenting. Very different culturally, I don’t get it and I would have so much resentment if I were in their shoes.
Posted on 5/8/20 at 1:24 pm to tigerbandpiccolo
quote:
appreciate it 10 times more If he actually goes through the trouble of unwrapping them, trimming, and putting them in a vase.
I learned many years ago, despite my best efforts, I do not do this correctly. I can spend an hour trying to make it perfect and she is still going to redo my masterpiece when she sees them.
Posted on 5/8/20 at 1:25 pm to Jax Teller
I’d never buy a gift for an ex under any circumstances.
Posted on 5/8/20 at 1:26 pm to tigerbandpiccolo
quote:
And to the poster who asked about helping kids of younger kids make a card—agreed
My kids made a video message for my mom. It’s 2020, no one sends cards anymore
My daughter made a picture frame from scratch and painted and decorated it and put a picture of all of us in it.
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