re: Is this a red flag? ie: dating and dealing with girl's mom

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I feel certain that 7 months is a real lifetime to you, and nobody really sells themselves in dating. Nah... How many times I've seen this shite before in my life is beyond me. Boy meets girl, boy and girl hook up, boy/girl find better boy/girl and off to the other boy/girl and all is forgotten like it never happened, unless it hurts one or there's an effect to it. Then it's a big deal all of a sudden.

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What does any of that have to do with this topic? None of any of that is the mom's business.

You keep bringing up all of this commitment talk and that has nothing to do with this topic either. If the daughter wants to sleep around that isn't any of the mom's business either. She's an adult. You keep forgetting that fact and talking as though she is 15 years old and spending too much time with her first real boyfriend.

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Yeah, parents like Mike are a boyfriend's worst nightmare and will only push away guys that may be perfect for a daughter, but she'll have to settle for less because of controlling parents.

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Yeah, I'd have to be head over heels in love with his daughter in order to put up with his bullshite, and it would likely get hostile between he and I.

it wouldn't bother me, nor would i take it as a red flag.

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You are not nearly as wise as you think you are

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Well shite, I can't be. I wasn't raised with the internet. What the frick could I have learned about people or life compared to you?

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Yes, and that's completely insane that someone in their 20s should be rationalizing with a guy in their 50s to stop treating their kids like they're in high school. It's clear you have major trust issues with your children.

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I just know fricking people, and the more you learn about them in life, the more cautious you become with doling your trust out, because of course, you've had experiences with many of them over the years, but again, not nearly what I'm sure you learn in college these days or online.

Let me tell you something that I pray you remember from this.

1) just because you're old enough, it doesn't mean you're qualified

And

2). Older people will become very smart on insightful virtually overnight to you one day to the point where you'll do your best to forget how you shirked that as being nonsense.



It happens to us all... One day we have everything by the balls figured out and the next day we wake up, look at ourselves and see the people we told were idiots and out of touch with reality. THAT is the standard. It will hit you square between the eyes too.

I'm done with this. I gotta heat up some leftovers. Good luck though.

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1) just because you're old enough, it doesn't mean you're qualified

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If your kids aren't able to be responsible enough for you to trust them with the boyfriend / girlfriend that they choose age 28, then you've failed as a parent and "checking up on them" will not fix anything, but will only encourage them to be irresponsible for the rest of their life. You have to let your kids make mistakes, especially once they are old enough to be able to deal with them on their own.

I respect the wisdom of older generations, but what you are dishing out is far from anything close to "wisdom." It's grade A bad parenting.

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Not a red flag.

Her daughter will always be her daughter, just like one day your daughter will always be yours. Fact that she didn't make a big deal of it in front of you despite some objection is actually a good thing.

A mom having a talk with her grown, yet unmarried daughter about overnight male guests is normal.

If you run over this, then the running is because of you--not her or her Mom.

Didn't read whole thread so excuse if redundant.

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8:00 on a Saturday morning unannounced is normal? You've got to be an absolute control freak in order to think that is normal.

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8:00 on a Saturday morning unannounced is normal? You've got to be an absolute control freak in order to think that is normal.

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I'm pretty sure I said the lecture was normal.

I don't think he was asking if Mom swinging by was normal.

It may be, it may not be. What if they occasionally have coffee or breakfast together on sat am?

We don't know. That was not the issue.

OP: you've gotten 15 pages of advice from internet strangers based on their opinion, so don't think it unusual that your girl got 15 minutes of the same from her mom.

Do you really want a girl that would tell a concerned mom to _ off over a 7 month boyfriend?

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Do you really want a girl that would tell a concerned mom to frick off over a 7 month boyfriend?

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I'd tell my own mom to "frick off" (or relative less vulgar equivalent) if she swung by my place at 8:00 in the morning on a saturday unannounced to see if I had a chick/girlfriend sleeping at my place, even if there was no one besides myself there. That's a total lack of trust and respect. Hell, I told them once to not show up on a night before a ballgame at Ole Miss because I wanted to utilize their condo for a date I had that night, and they were cool with it.

Well, ok.

I've given my opinion. It's worth what it costs--like the rest on here.

I'm out, so y'all steer him straight. But remember, as for now, he's getting laid and the only issue is: where.