re: Is a parent responsible to pay for their kid's college?

I don’t think you should pay tuition for public universities, if you are a resident of that state.

Room and board should be covered by students/parents/scholarships.

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There's nothing admirable about giving somebody a free ride. How can so many of you sit here and complain about the welfare state enabling laziness in the lower classes and then turn around and pass along that same sentiment and lesson to your kids?

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Free ride? My two daughters wanted to work during college and I told them college WAS their job- study when you’d otherwise be at a job. One is an RN, other has a year left.

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Your job as a parent is to provide opportunities and advice not a blank check. They'll value their education and path in life much more if they do it on their own and that includes paying their own way. There's a valuable lesson in that. They'll come out on the other end with a much greater appreciation for what they've built.

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Not true. The burden of loans so many are saddled with says differently but you do yours your way.

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This. My my dad was a drug addict and my mom would never pay for shite for me but she sure as hell kept filing me on her taxes so I couldn't meet the two year minimum of self-sufficiency in order to qualify for FAFSA grants and private student loans even though I had been living on my own and supporting myself for years.

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Sincerely sorry to hear that.

My parents couldn't help me so I went to work and learned a trade. Actually learned more than one trade.. you have to make yourself marketable.

I have one son who is book smart and will excell as an engineer. I'll do what I can but he will work through college. My youngest son will learn a trade. While he's smart he has more common sense in his pinky than his brother has total but hates school..neither will be a burden on society as long as I'm alive .

I paid for my own, I know my folks would've helped if they could've, but it wasn't crucial in my case: instead gifting me money, they built me into something capable of raising my own resources and able to pass the rigors of my curriculum and thrive in the career for which that degree opened the door.

That said, I'm not even building any children until I am sure, when the time comes, I can get behind them financially for college if they deserve and want it. Where's the joy in creating new poor people?

On the other hand, the celebrity kids from the other day had their parents financial backing to get them into prestigious programs, but they were not equipped to fight the own battles and gain the acceptance of their own merits.

To answer your question, if a family is loaded they should invest in the next generations' success. If you're not working for your family's future and legacy why expand or continue the family in the first place?

Regardless of tuition concerns, a parent has bigger responsibility to teach their children how to succeed and fight adversity. Money can appear and disappear in a flash; it's an artificial construct we've created to make our lives simpler. Skills and personality traits honed over time are what will make or break a person. Money is a (very important) secondary requirement.

That's fair and I agree. But only because tuition has skyrocketed. Like most things the government touches, it skews the market.

My overarching point was but I believe it's important for them to take ownership over all aspects of their education. As long as they pay something that's better than them paying nothing. I just don't like this idea that it's somehow beneficial to just give somebody a completely free ride.

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If you can afford it, you do it. If you can’t, you do whatever you can to help them acquire the means to pay for it , whether that is loans, a job, a grant, a scholarship, etc.

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Isn't that what I said? I said, if you can act as a bank for them, do it. That doesn't mean you don't make them pay it back because there's a lesson to be learned in paying your own way. It's not about the money. You're always a parent, so you should always be trying to teach. It's a teachable moment.

I get the sense that people don't necessarily disagree with the points I make just that they don't like the tone of my posts. I see people saying essentially the same thing on this thread and getting upvoted for it

Yes.

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The kids whose parents are covering tuition have no real understanding for what that means or the value of it.

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ehh. I don’t think that’s true at all. My parents paid for my school and I’m pretty cognizant of the value in that.

18 year olds taking out huge loans probably understand a lot less, but they’re paying their own way.

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Free ride? My two daughters wanted to work during college and I told them college WAS their job- study when you’d otherwise be at a job. One is an RN, other has a year left

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You're making it personal, I was speaking in general. There's always going to be exceptions to the rule and that's why I stated it with the caveat that -

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Granted, if your kid is already really fiscally responsible, mature and knows what they want to do with their life but you don't want them racking up the debt and wasting interest payments to a bank, then that's different

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Not true. The burden of loans so many are saddled with says differently but you do yours your way.

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Big whoop. They will be saddled with a big loan when they buy a house too. You going to buy them a house as well?

I agree that the cost of education has gotten out of hand but to act like it's some burden that can't be overcome or that the value of overcoming such a burden isn't worth it, just doesn't sit well with me. As someone who's had to do it, it doesn't sit well.

Also, trade school isn't expensive and if they want a professional degree that requires a four-year College, there's huge discrepancies in tuition cost from one college to the next. Choose a cheaper one and pay your own way.

When I was in college, Tulane was 7.5x more expensive than UNO. I find it hard to believe that your chances of landing a job with a Tulane degree vs. a UNO degree increase 7.5x or that you're going to make 7.5x more income with a Tulane degree than a UNO degree.

In addition, anecdotal I know, but everyone I know that graduated from UNO is doing just dandy since they learned a valuable lesson and having to pay their own way and work while they were in college and all the snot-nosed silver spoons I know that were fratting it up at Tulane aren't doing as well. Many of them are still living off their parents, well into their 30s.

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Sincerely sorry to hear that.

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Appreciate it but like I said, no sweat off my back. Made me the person I am today. My wife as well.

I hope my comments aren't an affront to your parenting or lifestyle choices, I'm well aware that there are different strokes for different folks and most the things we talk about here are based on anecdotal evidence.

It paid for mine and parents covered the rest