Is a parent responsible to pay for their kid's college?

No

Absolutely not. If they want to then that’s fine but it shouldn’t feel like an obligation. I’ve heard of too many kids who want to go to college but “their parents can’t afford it”. Get some loans, invest in yourself and get the degree you need to get into the profession you want.

Plus, putting it on the kid greatly increases the chances that said kid is going to give a shite and commit to his education

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My parents said they didnt mind helping me but they weren't paying for housing, tuition, etc, and just giving me a free ride. 

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No I don't think it's their responsibility at all.

My dad paid my tuition and books. He told me if I wanted my own place I'd have to pay for it myself. We lived about 11-12 miles from campus.

Yep.
Parents should pick up at least tuition, room, board, books, car and Greek bill. Maybe. Small allowance.

The kid should get a 20 hour a week job for spending money.

It was tough just to get tax returns from my dad to show I had a financial need so I could get pell grants/loans.

Who paid for yours?

Agree 100%. If you sonny boy wants to get loans out for a degree in 18th century French literature then we are going to strongly advise against being retarded

It should be the responsibility of a caring parent to set up their children to succeed in life. If the parent has the means then that could mean paying for college. But life is too nuanced and complicated for blanket judgements like this.

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Who paid for yours?

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I didnt go because I had no clue what I wanted to do and felt like it was a waste to go without a plan.

That's cool too. I am paying for my daughter's college because that "leg up" was afforded to me, until I flushed it down the toilet and had to myself. I feel like it is my duty because I am in a position to and bc my parents gave me that opportunity, but I am only able to speak of my situation.

Now I think your "Real" question is of the commercials and insinuations of a parent's responsibility to pay and I can tell you that is only because of Commerce. With student scam/loans and university costs rising unrealistically, the world of commerce is absolutely pimping this angle because the debt, costs, everything is somehow "good" for the economy. It is a false narrative though which will bust like all bubbles.