Intersex Awareness Day is October 26.

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I'm an Intersex Black Woman. My Voice Matters. Listen

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I was born intersex. It is a condition in which a child is born with male and female genitalia. I came to America seeking asylum because the condition made me a target in my country, where being associated with the LGBTQ community is illegal and could get you killed. There, people are bullied into remaining in the closet. They can never reveal their true identity, leading many to commit suicide or endure the endless pain and feeling of constant rejection.

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My father gave me his last dollar.

“I will buy you a ticket,” he told me. “Go somewhere where you will be accepted as a human, and a citizen who deserves human rights.”

At the time, Barack Obama was president.

“If Obama hears of you, he is going to meet you and you will change the world together,” my father said.

Oh, the dreams and hopes of a loving father to his queer child.

Ellen DeGeneres, one of my favorite people in the world, is a lesbian—and has her own show here. Oprah, a black woman, has been killing it for as long as I can remember. That’s why I had hope in America, believing it would welcome me with open arms. The United States is the land of dreams, after all. That’s what we’ve always been told.

That’s not what I found.

When I got to Los Angeles, I didn’t know anyone and had only $60 in my pocket. I used that money to get to the L.A. LGBT center.

“I am homeless,” I told them. “I have no dinner tonight, I have nowhere to sleep, will you please help me?”

They didn’t help. I slept outside of the center for two nights.

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America didn’t welcome me; it didn’t even understand me. Americans don’t know what intersex means. That includes many within the LGBTQ community, the community where I was supposed to find empathy and love. And it includes the black community.

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