re: I'm not crazy, you're crazy - Borderline Personality Disorder

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They construct a narrative of you and your relationship that justifies their behavior.

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a weird offshoot of the Stockholm syndrome

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A lot of therapists won't even return your phone call or email if they find out that they're going to deal with BPD.

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Correct. I have a family member that is a therapist. The borderlines don't like to hear the truth about themselves. They are the ones that go online and give their therapists a shitty google review b/c they were told they were in the wrong about something

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BPD seems to be more prevalent in females. My first wife has BPD. She also accused me of the same type of behavior. BPD's are very cunning and manipulative at the highest level. Introspectively review your historical relationships of intimate nature, such as trusted friends, spouses, lovers, parents, etc. If you have a history of troubled relationships, you might be the problem or one of two BPD's in the relationship. Do the same historical review of your wife's relationships just the same. ONLY consider relationships with deep opportunities for the expression of intimate life details. BPD's present as very well-adjusted, likable people to the general public and superficial relationships. The quintessential BPD is portrayed in Fatal Attraction. BPDs will go to any length to win and control. They control their lives with threats, even very extreme threats like suicide, murder, exposure of family secrets, etc.

I went moved to the bonus room of my house and went into counseling in hopes of learning how to save the marriage, as I didn't want my sons to experience co-parenting. I called it quits after catching her cheating.

She is now on her fifth husband. I, too, remarried and have never been happier and more fulfilled for the past almost 20 years. Thank God for my wife. I'd never have been able to manage life post-BPD spouse without her. My sons would have never matured into the healthy young men that they have without my wife (of the past 19+) years providing a near-perfect mother role model.

A divorce is a viable option. Salvage what time you have left. Regardless you should consider counseling. Unfortunately, well-trained ethical counselors are few and far between. If you are a Christian, you should consider Christian counseling as a model for understanding human behavior.

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it's almost creepy the more i start remembering these little incidents and events as i start unpacking this shite.

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this place can be notorious for its takes on just about everything but you're hearing a lot of truth in this thread and it's probably ringing a few bells with you, hopefully you'll heed, or at least take into consideration, some of the advice you've heard on here regarding this, it will not get any better for you and your kids until you get the strength to remove yourself from this situation

The worst is when they tell their family and friends all kinds of bullshite about you and your relationship, and since their precious little angel can do no wrong, they believe everything she says, and now her family and friends think that you are the one that is a crazy a-hole.

I have no education or experience in the mental health field, but I truly believe that a lot of these ‘popular’ disorders that a ton of people seem to have stems mainly from social media usage

I’m on the verge of deleting all my stuff just because I see the underlying harm it causes to people and their mental health, their relationships, and their every day life. I think that as a society, it’s time for us to come to grips with the fact that social media is a net negative for EVERYBODY

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I have no education or experience in the mental health field, but I truly believe that a lot of these ‘popular’ disorders that a ton of people seem to have stems mainly from social media usage

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Social media has exacerbated the issue but it has been around since at least the 70s from what I have gathered from the different books that I have read.

I’ve read this whole thread, and to the OP, I feel for you man. You seem like you genuinely care for your family and especially for your wife. I hope you can find the answers and the peace that you deserve



But I’m wondering… all these personality disorders…. Are they just fancy ways to say that people are assholes? I doubt that people are naturally born this way. I have a suspicion that these ‘disorders’ are a direct result of something that happened to them - or shitty behaviors that have been ignored, abetted, and/or enabled for a long time, which leads to an individual just being a shitty person overall.

Assuming that my above paragraph is correct, why do we treat this type of shite the way that we do? Why do we have to act like these people have some sort of medical condition? Why isn’t this called out for what it is instead of coddling these people and making everyone believe that they just somehow have this magical sickness that popped up out of nowhere?