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re: I'm Going To Break A Girl's Heart Tonight
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:08 pm to lsunurse
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:08 pm to lsunurse
Looking back on that long relationship, did you not see signs along the way of these not being right?
Not trying to be a dick here at all. It just seems after that long with no type of commitment (at least in the OP's situation), something would go off that the spark isn't there or that it won't happen. (again, I am not sure about your situation, speaking more of the OP and his soon to be ex)
Not trying to be a dick here at all. It just seems after that long with no type of commitment (at least in the OP's situation), something would go off that the spark isn't there or that it won't happen. (again, I am not sure about your situation, speaking more of the OP and his soon to be ex)
2
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:09 pm to SabiDojo
quote:
Uh, OP is a dude, and in his prime. He could scoop up a 24-year old no problem.
You guys watch too much TV. Being single in your 30s is not even within the same universe of awesome as being single in your 20s--even though you probably have 5x more disposable income. The only exception would be if you're really, really well off.
And assuming this guy was faithful, after 10 years out of the game, he's probably so rusty that he'll have to work his way back in by picking up divorcees at the bar at Applebees--if he's lucky.
This post was edited on 11/12/14 at 5:32 pm
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:10 pm to Indfanfromcol
The fact that they weren't living together after that long is red flag #'s #1-5. Unless it was for religious reasons or her family didn't want them living together or something.
This post was edited on 11/12/14 at 5:11 pm
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:11 pm to Navytiger74
I guess. I can only speak for myself. Things are easier when you're good-looking.
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:11 pm to REG861
I think he's just just scared shitless of committment. He's been getting the milk free for 9 years, now he doesn't want the burden of owning the cow.
Also, this chick must have some serious issues herself.
Also, this chick must have some serious issues herself.
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:12 pm to lsunurse
I agree. Don't get me wrong, she had a choice too...but my point is why the hell do these couples not discuss these matters right away? I know for me that I want to be a mom in my 30s and I wouldn't be in a long term relationship with marriage prospects with someone who didn't want kids too.
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:12 pm to lsunurse
She may have some dude she friend zoned 2 years ago waiting to step in and marry her fast.
Of course she'll cheat on him after the wedding
Of course she'll cheat on him after the wedding
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:12 pm to LuckyTiger
quote:
Yea, done responding to you. You've made numerous sweeping claims based upon absolutely nothing but your own very obvious personal issues. You've got it all figured out and I'm fine leaving you feeling that way.
Hey man, I feel for you. Clearly you haven't handled this perfectly to date, but you're doing the right thing now.
Oh, assuming you guys were a social couple, you're probably about to lose like 70% of your friendships (all the women, plus some of their spouses and boyfriends). And her family better not be in any position to screw you over--ever. Her dad isn't a judge or a police chief or anything, is he?
This post was edited on 11/12/14 at 5:30 pm
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:13 pm to SabiDojo
quote:
I guess. I can only speak for myself. Things are easier when you're good-looking.
Mmmkay. 
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:14 pm to REG861
quote:
Is that when he said he stopped loving her?
Well he wasn't that much in love with her if he wasn't engaged by year 7. They met in Grad school and never moved in with her. That's pretty inexcusable.
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:14 pm to SabiDojo
Aren't you fairly young and married?
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:14 pm to Navytiger74
I don't think these guys realize that many of these young, hot 24 year olds who are just starting their careers and not wanting kids just yet will soon turn into 29 year olds who want babies ASAP.
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:15 pm to Indfanfromcol
quote:
Looking back on that long relationship, did you not see signs along the way of these not being right?
I was 17 when we first started dating, so my situation is much different. I didn't know any better, was young and dumb, and let a guy play on my lack of self esteem back then. I got so wrapped up in that relationship I truly felt at times I could honestly do no better than him(he was THAT good at manipulating me). At times I would think I deserved better, but then would think how long we had been together and how I knew nothing else but him and wow look he is talking about marriage again...and I would lose my nerve and talk myself into staying longer to just see if it got better.
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:15 pm to Navytiger74
quote:
You guys watch too much TV. Being single in your 30s is not even within the same universe of awesome as being single in your 20s--even though you probably have 5x more disposable income. The only exception would be if you're really, really well off.
I would agree with this. I'm single in my 30s, upper middle class income, and no I don't have to fight the women off with a bat. My dating life was much better in my 20s when I was broke.
Part of that has to do with me though. I don't put up with as much crap as I did then and I'm far more rigid. Now I have no patience for being around women that annoy me. The women that I do have in my life are awesome but it's not many of them that's for sure.
OP needs to know what he's getting into and realize that he's changed as well whether he knows it or not and he may not like what's out there. Doesn't mean you need to get back with her when he inevitably regrets breaking up with her.
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:15 pm to lsuwontonwrap
quote:
The fact that they weren't living together after that long is red flag #'s #1-5. Unless it was for religious reasons or her family didn't want them living together or something.
There had to be tons of red flags.
I am sure he lost interest at one point, and then something sparked things back up a few months before the proposal, and that is the only reason he proposed. That or she demanded it.
Either way, I am 100% positive that there were red flags throughout the entire relationship. OP is a dick for just now getting the balls to breaking up, but she should've had some kind of feeling after this long that things weren't going to end well.
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:15 pm to lsunurse
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:16 pm to LuckyTiger
quote:
10-year relationship
quote:
I do not want to marry her.
so you're just fricking idiot.
roger that.
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:16 pm to Paige
quote:
Aren't you fairly young and married?
Younger than you are and, yes, I am married.
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:16 pm to SabiDojo
quote:
And what if he still loved her and wanted to be with her then? It's not like he started dating her 10 years ago SOLELY to waste the better years of her life.
Nah, I know a few people like the OP, and they're the type who like to have a girl around, but hate change and actual commitment, so they'll keep them on a sling and give them the absolute bare minimum on what is required of them, and only get engaged when they have no other choice. Year 9 is pretty fricking late for that, to where there's no doubt that everyone from her, to his/her family, to his friends were all telling him that he has to get married, and he gave into it. He should have let her go in Year 4.
Posted on 11/12/14 at 5:16 pm to Paige
quote:
She better have some pretty low standards
Obviously her standards are low to be attached to the OP for 10 years in hopes of getting married. In fact, low self esteem is what's driving him away. I understand why he's breaking it off. OP however, doesn't divulge much info leaving everybody to speculate and then just tell us we dont' know what we're talking about.
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