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Posted on 6/16/16 at 1:04 pm to Lsupimp
quote:
feeling sad and wanting to do something meaningful for my fellow man that I went to get my hair cut.
this is the only weird part. did your fellow man appreciate your haircut you got?
Posted on 6/16/16 at 1:05 pm to Lsupimp
Be honest...that woman you saw was your wife.
Posted on 6/16/16 at 1:06 pm to Lsupimp
Is the second friend going to be leaving a job that the first friend would qualify for?
Posted on 6/16/16 at 1:10 pm to Lsupimp
Jambalaya Shoppe...Jenny Craig....I'm guessing the #2 clipper at Fantastic Sams.
Posted on 6/16/16 at 1:18 pm to Chad504boy
quote:
did your fellow man appreciate your haircut you got?
I don't know about you, but I sure appreciate his new haircut. His attempt at a combover was getting rather embarrassing to look at.
Posted on 6/16/16 at 1:25 pm to Lsupimp
My wife is pregnant with twins. As we were hanging the weekly sign to take a picture next to, I mistakenly asked her if she wants the sign hung next to her face or her gut.
I instantly regretted being the biggest accidental a-hole in the world.
I instantly regretted being the biggest accidental a-hole in the world.
Posted on 6/16/16 at 1:33 pm to TigerFanatic99
True story
My gf's niece is morbidly obese, and was having stomach pains. She went to the doctor to get it checked out and turns out she was preggo. She had the baby like 2 weeks later, honest to God.
I almost threw up when she told me.
My gf's niece is morbidly obese, and was having stomach pains. She went to the doctor to get it checked out and turns out she was preggo. She had the baby like 2 weeks later, honest to God.
I almost threw up when she told me.
Posted on 6/16/16 at 1:40 pm to rintintin
My girlfriend's not a twig, but she's much smaller than "average". 5'3" 115lbs or so. It just slipped out and I immediately felt like a huge dick.
She reacted poorly, for what it's worth.
She reacted poorly, for what it's worth.
Posted on 6/16/16 at 2:28 pm to TigerFanatic99
TigerFanatic99
quote:
My wife is pregnant with twins.
quote:
My girlfriend's not a twig,
quote:
My wife
quote:
My girlfriend
Posted on 6/16/16 at 2:57 pm to Azranod
CaughtPosted on 6/16/16 at 2:59 pm to Azranod
wow, I fricked that up. Her pregnancy brain is wearing off on me.
She would take reading these posts equally as poorly.
I"m going to leave that up and not edit to make a correction just for historical sake.
She would take reading these posts equally as poorly.
I"m going to leave that up and not edit to make a correction just for historical sake.
This post was edited on 6/16/16 at 3:03 pm
Posted on 6/16/16 at 3:03 pm to Lsupimp
quote:
As I was walking out I saw a morbidly obese young woman walking towards the Jenny Craig weight loss center. Everything inside me screamed '"Pimp-offer her encouragement, tell her she can lose that weight, tell her that a better, skinnier life is ahead, tell her you respect the fact that she is kicking this things arse", all kinds of positive do-gooder thoughts of encouragement flooded my head. At the last moment I chickened out and just got in my car. Good thing too, because she walked right into The Jambalaya Shoppe next door to Jenny Craig. That would have been awkward.
You must get your hair cut by Laura?
This post was edited on 6/16/16 at 3:05 pm
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