re: I found out I have a 10 year old son - Update Page 10

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After speaking to the step dad, it is obvious this girl has ruined this child's self esteem and he feels the only person that loves and wants him is his step dad. She told the child that his biological father hated him and wanted nothing to do with him.

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At the very least, you need to clear this up in the kid's mind. Thats obviously a huge reason for his low self esteem. If mom gets pissed, too bad. Do what's best for the kid first. Sounds like step-dad is trying to do that, so follow his lead. He knows the kid better than you do.

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Does anyone have any suggestions...



Paragraphs. Use paragraphs.

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Actually, the most useful advice in this thread.

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I've been trying to think of anyone I know who's kids look like them or ever did and can't think of any.

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Wat. I don't think you know how genetics works, and you probably have horrible eyesight and pattern recognition abilities.

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Do you look exactly like one of your parents? Do your brothers and sisters look exactly like you?

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I have a lot of the same facial features of my father, the same color eyes, and I have a similar but male version of the stature of my mother and sister. When people say "exactly" they don't mean exactly. They mean that the similarity is striking. Did you learn English yesterday?

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BamaScoop

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You sound like a huge a-hole.

Update -
Kid is awesome, very sweet and everyone knows he is a blessing.
The step dad and I have become great buddies and are doing everything we can to help the little guy get through the BS his mother and I set him up for.
I went out and met him in June, spent the day swimming, playing arcade games and talking. He was obviously very shy at first. However, he warmed up and has become my online pen-pal. We message each other almost daily and when he is with his dad, he calls me and we discuss school and ninja turtles. When we first started talking, I mentioned college, he looked at me like I was crazy. However, now after several discussions and many seeds being placed, he is starting to ask about how college works and if he can go. He is extremely smart so this is something that will happen.
He and I went to my parents house during labor day weekend. I took him to the family farm and he is a hell of a shot for a rookie. He was blasting bulls eye after bulls eye shortly into his lesson. Which was awesome because he is not very confident, so to see him smile was another blessing.
He and I also share October as our birthday month. I sent him a drone to hook up a cell phone to a record video as he flies it. He has send me several clips of him flying it. He also got a football and now his dad has a rule that they must go outside and play for at least an hour a day. He has already lost a lot of the weight he put on due to the stress of his dad and mom getting a divorce.
He also came down for a family Christmas. Mom put on a great show, we had gifts under the tree, big christmas dinner and the family didn't argue once. It was truly a Christmas miracle.
For Christmas the boy got 2 pair of shoes, his own 22, a hunting knife, a new baseball glove and $100 bill. Watching his eyes light up as he unwrapped gifts was awesome. So awesome it angers me that I allowed myself to be absent for so long.
After contacting an attorney, we have no rights. Once a child is adopted you have 6 months to appeal, well we obviously were not around for this which is understandable. The good news is he wants to leave his mom's house and live with his dad. So next year, his mother and his dad will go back to court to hopefully get him moved to his house.
Mom proves she is a piece of work again by leaving husband, getting knocked up within 2 weeks and marrying her new baby daddy. Here is how she announced to the boy she was getting married. During school registration she says "I am putting ________ name on the list to pick you up because he and I are getting married." Thats it, no warning, no talking about it, just embarrass the kid right in front of those registering him. I contacted the mom to tell her I wanted to bury the hatchet and help her as well as the boy transition into this new phase of all our lives. She hung up, blocked me and changed her number within the hour. Glad I got with this one.
In addition to college fund, I have set up a life insurance policy that once I pay off will take excess money and put into an account that I can cash out when he goes to college and I can give him for whatever else he needs.
My girlfriend obviously lost her mind when this first went down. However, she is now on board and was part of the Christmas celebration. Her and the boy really hit it off, which is awesome because his mom is not a great female figure in his life. I am so glad this appears to be coming together much nicer than expected.
After many prayers, tears and questions, it appears this is what I needed to help myself grow up. I have gotten closer with the lord, I now only have a couple drinks socially and have started taking care of myself.
I appreciate those who commented the last time. I needed to be verbally abused as well as lifted up. Both types of statements helped me understand what was going on and what I needed to do.
We all make decisions that we regret later in life. Sometimes we get to make up for them, hopefully I am on the right track because it feels good to know I am a positive influence in this young mans life.