re: How successful do you think your father was at raising you?

I was very very fortunate.

He taught me how to work and when Plan A fell through I was able to enjoy a nice career and great life in Plan B in the trades. He also instilled my faith which formed my values regarding marriage, friendships, work ethic, loyalty, etc. He also impressed the ideas of self-worth and drive that you can be anything you want to be.

He failed on applying some of the above personally, but definitely did his job. I still miss him dearly.

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I went on to be a brawler, especially when drinking, but was careful never to hit my wives or kids.

Assholes and bad guys were not so lucky but my body is covered in scars from it, and broken bones, knife wounds, bullet holes, even a shattered orbital socket from a pool stick ... and I think the scars and limping and a recent detached retina not long before he passed ... had him thinking that all the fighting I did was his fault.

It was to a degree, but life is what it is. I deserved most of the beatings he threw on me. I never liked unexpected backhands though, they would comes out of nowhere. If he reached for the salt shaker at the dinner table I would duck. Happened in front of the preacher one time ... I paid for that one.

But I worshiped the man and he taught me to be intense, a survivor, a fighter, a good father and husband and earner. I could never walk in his footsteps though ... he was truly an amazing man. Old school, very stoic. He went out like a man. He'd be 90 this year. I was born when he was a teenager.

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Based on your posting history I wouldn't have pegged you as a brawler, but I would have bet my life on the fact that you had a great dad.

I worshipped my dad too. Thanks for sharing.

My dad died from pancreatic cancer when I was 18.
He did the the he could. Wish he was still around along with my mom.

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Seems like liberals always hate their parents.

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except i said i love my dad?

seems like MAGA still doesn't have good reading comprehension.

My dad worked a 7 day rotating shift the first 3 years of my life, and was going to night school (somehow) at the same time for his 2nd degree. He worked as a research Physicist for over 30 years. He did his best...but if I needed help with my Calculus homework in HS, he would try to help...then say, "I don't see how you don't understand this".

But he would also come into my room to tuck me in, and read to me...stories, poetry, whatever he was reading at the time. He taught me how to shoot a gun, and ride a bike. He tried his best to show interest in the things that I liked, and he shared his love of music with me. He introduced me to Kris Kristofferson, Johnny Cash, Simon and Garfunkle and The Statler Brothers (on 8-track). He taught me how to change the oil and brakes on a car, and how to build things with my own hands.

He is in an assisted living facility with Alzheimers now. He has a positive spirit, but can't remember much. When I pick up his guitar and play "Just the Other Side of Nowhere" or "Slip Sliding Away", he remembers most of the words.

30 years ago, I would have given him a much lower grade than I would give him now. Having kids of my own, helps me see how hard he worked and now I grade him on a curve. He is 88 years old, and I know my time with him is fleeting. My mother passed away in April, and he is not aware. He has no sense of time, so to him, it was just the other day when she last came to visit him in the facility. My brother and I are preparing our childhood home that he built to sell, and it is much harder than I could have imagined.

"My father could use a little mercy now
The fruits of his labor
Fall and rot slowly on the ground
His work is almost over
It won’t be long and he won’t be around
I love my father, and he could use some mercy now"

~ Mary Gauthier "Mercy Now"

Solid B+/A- growing up. Was always there for us, provided us with everything we needed etc. There are some things looking back he probably could have done a little differently but i give him a pass because he was learning on the fly. His dad was apparently a huge piece of shite and never taught him how to be a man/father. From what i understand my maternal grandfather taught my dad way more than his own dad ever did.

That being said, what i find more fascinating is that im still learning from him. Watching him become a grandfather and the love and appreciation he shows his grandkids is wild. My mom got sick around 2018 and had to have a lung transplant in 2019 and this man damn near killed himself taking care of her. Didnt complain once, just did what he had to do for someone that he loved which is i guess the best way to describe him.

I would just like to say that this thread has been very inspirational and illuminating. It has made me even more grateful for my father.

It takes a lot of courage to discuss these things, especially difficult circumstances. I salute those who have been open and honest.

My father was a great provider, but not a very good dad. Like many others have posted he was just doing his best. While I think he could’ve done a much better job, he also could’ve done a WAY worse one.

After reading this thread I would like to give a grade higher than an A. Just out his head down, loved my Mom, loved us, provided everything he could plus a little more probably.

Great example. I feel for all the kids that didn’t have that certainty in their lives. I suppose I took it for granted. Parenting is easy and hard at the same time.