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re: How many of you get the “you don’t listen to anything” complaint from your woman?

Posted on 2/25/18 at 6:04 am to
Posted by baseballmind1212
Missouri City
Member since Feb 2011
3251 posts
Posted on 2/25/18 at 6:04 am to
quote:

How am I suppose to hear a GD thing with your back to me walking away?!


My SO does this all the time. Then she gets mad at me when I tell her I couldn't hear any of that so I guess it wasn't that important.


One thing that has saved me though, putting stuff in my calendar on my phone. If she drops some dates and says we have to do something that day, I immediately put the stuff in my phone. It's saved my arse a couple times.

OTOH, anytime she starts a conversation about work I immediately tune it out. I've got enough problems with my own job, don't need hers too.
Posted by Pectus
Internet
Member since Apr 2010
67302 posts
Posted on 2/25/18 at 6:09 am to
She just wants someone to listen while she vents, baw.
Posted by baseballmind1212
Missouri City
Member since Feb 2011
3251 posts
Posted on 2/25/18 at 6:12 am to
quote:

She just wants someone to listen while she vents, baw


I get that, and I'll listen at that moment. But don't ask me to remember the details of the rant 3 days later.

I'd hate to work in her office. It's all women, so she rarel complains about actual work, just about the work politics, etc.
Posted by starsandstripes
Georgia
Member since Nov 2017
11897 posts
Posted on 2/25/18 at 6:53 am to
Women don't make any sense.

This week they want the paper towels put in a certain place in the pantry. Last week it was a different place and the week before that another place. Clearly none of those places are better than any others, otherwise eventually one of them would take precedence as the desired location for the paper towels. So to harp on about where they go is futile and not worth listening to. So, guess what? The paper towels are going to end up whereever I put them.
Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
421355 posts
Posted on 2/25/18 at 6:54 am to
quote:

"Tell me what I just said"

this doesn't end well for her. she's never done it directly but has implied i wasn't listening and i can usually quote what she said for the past 20-30 seconds. can any OT women chime in and explain why they're irrationally focused on constantly talking about things out loud and small talk?
Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
421355 posts
Posted on 2/25/18 at 6:58 am to
quote:

She just wants someone to listen while she vents, baw.

this would be fine if it's some rare thing

multiple times every day? figure out a way to release your tension individually. i'd tell that to any person, man or woman. also, know your audience. i'm an introverted, individualistic person. i try to solve my own problems. repeating them out loud won't solve anything (especially when the point isn't to fix the problem and it's just to talk about the problem)
Posted by BoogaBear
Member since Jul 2013
5538 posts
Posted on 2/25/18 at 7:28 am to
Mine went next level, if I'm not looking at her she assumes I'm not listening.

So I get the ”you're not even listening" simply because I'm not staring at her.
Posted by Jcorye1
Tom Brady = GoAT
Member since Dec 2007
71329 posts
Posted on 2/25/18 at 7:31 am to
Spoiler: half the time they don't even want you to listen.
Posted by Tiger Ugly
Baton Rouge
Member since Jul 2008
14472 posts
Posted on 2/25/18 at 9:08 am to
quote:

“Tell me what I just said” Mine started doing this recently. I don’t think I’ve gotten even close to what she said.


I got it right once.
Posted by RealityTiger
Geismar, LA
Member since Jan 2010
20437 posts
Posted on 2/25/18 at 9:15 am to
quote:

OTOH, anytime she starts a conversation about work I immediately tune it out. I've got enough problems with my o
ESPECIALLY when it’s just bitch fest 2018 with no solution intended. Most women love to live in drama/anxiety. They don’t want to live in serenity by taking a few steps to get there. They want to stay at each other’s throat and come home crying about it. It’s vey hard for me to not check out of those conversations.
Posted by toddzilla
Gulf of Mexico
Member since Nov 2012
1587 posts
Posted on 2/25/18 at 10:45 am to
It’s when she is either in another room or upstairs and tries to have a conversation with me. Then she accuses me of not listening to her. That or when it takes her 20 minutes to tell a story because of all of the sidebars...
Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
421355 posts
Posted on 2/25/18 at 10:49 am to
quote:

They don’t want to live in serenity by taking a few steps to get there. They want to stay at each other’s throat and come home crying about it.

again

females of the OT

please explain
Posted by TigersSEC2010
Warren, Michigan
Member since Jan 2010
37355 posts
Posted on 2/25/18 at 10:59 am to
quote:

can any OT women chime in and explain why they're irrationally focused on constantly talking about things out loud and small talk?


This is one thing I’ll never understand. Most of the time when she gets pissed that I wasn’t listening, it’s about some bullshite that has zero impact on either of our lives, but she couldn’t stand not hearing herself talk.
Posted by stniaSxuaeG
Member since Apr 2014
1577 posts
Posted on 2/25/18 at 2:25 pm to
I get this all the time, and it’s completely unfair.

I listen at least 20% of the time.
Posted by SpecialHazard
SOCAL
Member since Jan 2018
1572 posts
Posted on 2/25/18 at 2:49 pm to
My listening technique is pretty good but my subject matter retention not so much.

Mine will even double down telling me she just needs me to "listen" while she vents but gets pissed when I either don not respond or respond incorrectly.
Posted by gingerkittie
Member since Aug 2013
2675 posts
Posted on 2/25/18 at 3:24 pm to
As a female, I would love to explain to you why women are this way or even what they said. But I don't have a damn clue.

This is because I don't listen to them either.

Posted by chinese58
NELA. after 30 years in Dallas.
Member since Jun 2004
30347 posts
Posted on 2/25/18 at 3:28 pm to
It's easy to time a yapping dog completely out!

Posted by White Bear
Yonnygo
Member since Jul 2014
13787 posts
Posted on 2/25/18 at 3:31 pm to
The more attention she gives my root the more acute my listening skills become. I've told her this a thousand times yet I'm the one that doesn't listen.
Posted by tigerbandpiccolo
Member since Oct 2005
49284 posts
Posted on 2/25/18 at 3:46 pm to
I’ll bite. I’m a female and I have the gift of gab. I’ll almost admit that this thread ruffled my colorful feathers just reading about how you guys so blatantly ignore your wives. You think it’s funny, and maybe it sometimes is, but you’re also admitting to a lack of respect for her.

In all fairness, it just depends on what your spouse’s love language is. If she does enjoy consoling in you, talking to you about her day, and you just repeatedly ignore everything that she has to say? I can see where that’s pretty hurtful.

I don’t drone on about every little thing to my husband because we are usually so busy between our jobs and the kids that the conversation is usually about that stuff. But what I do get irritated about is when I tell him important dates, events, or ask him to help me remember something for our house/kids/life and he doesn’t take the iniative to...then I get a little out of sorts. I equate that to someone who’s always late: your actions (or lack thereof) translate that you 1) don’t care about them 2) you think your time or mental energy is more important than the other persons. Boils down to a lack of respect, IMO.
Posted by member12
Bob's Country Bunker
Member since May 2008
32089 posts
Posted on 2/25/18 at 5:24 pm to
quote:

I love the walking down the hall talking. How am I suppose to hear a GD thing with your back to me walking away?!?’!!!



Just watch and appreciate your wife's arse.

That's what I do.
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