re: How do you comprehend/rationalize the death of a child?

I have had 2 kids die in my arms. Two of the worst experiences of my life and I didn't know either of the kids before I answered those two calls. I have also had to notify a parent of their child's death. There is no goo day to do that. I can't impish one the pain and suffering that they go through. My faith helped me stay level through these incidents.

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How do you comprehend/rationalize the death of a child? by LETSGEAUX2

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You don't even try. And no you can't even comprehend it unless you have lived through that experience personally.

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And no you can't even comprehend it unless you have lived through that experience personally.

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Exactly. Losing a grandparent or a parent or a friend is tough. But that's a completely different animal than losing a child. My heart goes out to those in this thread who lost their child.

My sister died unexpectedly and early, so I've seen the toll it takes on parents' lives first hand. Life keeps on going around the parents while they are in an emotional vacuum. Neither mom nor dad have been the same since.

i had a friend lose a 2 yo. It sucked. It helped his faith, but frick if I know how.

I can't imagine having to go through that.

Embracing the fact that we, as humans, are just another species to come and eventually go on this planet that is 4.54 billion years old could help.

One of my best friends lost his very young not so long ago. His son died unexpectedly and horribly. He didn't "tell me" he cried it at me, with an anguish I can never forget. I ran to the bathroom and threw up. My response was physiological. Witnessing what that family has endured has affected me far more than the loss of my only sibling and other members of my own family. Just being close to it has changed my life. And knowing that it has effected me less than 1% as much as his parents just blows me away. That it is even endurable is a miracle. I have nothing but humility and prayers for all parents who endure the unendurable.

Letsgeaux2, I'm not sure what you mean by comprehend or rationalize the death of a child. As a parent who suddenly lost a child, I can tell you that I have never rationalized it, but did comprehend that I would never see him again and just had to suffer through the loss. For parents who have lost a child, it is a lifetime of grief. There is no escape from it. There is really only one way to understand what happens to parents when they lose a child; I don't wish that on the Devil himself.

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When you bring a child into the world, you are rolling the dice as to what that child will experience.

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Yeah, this is some scary shite though. I find myself wondering 'what if' all the time. It becomes crippling to just think about, I can't imagine actually going through it.

I have never experienced tragedy or sudden loss. I have two boys now. When we talk about trying once more for a girl, my mind always goes to "Wait, we got lucky to be 2 for 2 in healthy babies, my family hasn't experienced tragedy, it's only a matter of time." What kind of way is that to think about life?

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How do you comprehend/rationalize the death of a child?

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There is no rationalization. I lost 2 first cousins by the age of 24. The sad sad truth is that terrible shite happens for no reason all the time, and sometimes it happens to you or your family. There is no rhyme or reason. Things like that just make you realize how lucky you are to have everything be ok, right now, in this moment. That could change in a heartbeat so just try to enjoy it while you can.

I look at my two kids and try to realize that when they smile at me, this is the most important and happy thing in my life. In 3 seconds it might change, so I better take it all in now.