re: Hardest day of my life

Hang in there man. We’re pulling for you.

Just now seeing this. I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my father in January as well and it’s been really difficult for me as we were close. I dream about my dad too. I wonder as well if he is trying to communicate with me and some really odd things have occurred in my life since he died. Again wondering if he is looking out for me from Heaven.

Being that you obviously loved her dearly it’s gonna take time and sometimes time is the only thing that will help you get thru it. Keep up w your grief therapy & if you don’t think it’s truly helping find another therapist. I also tried an antidepressant and it didn’t work for me either.

As to her symptoms at the end and of your initial post it reads as though she may have had a heart attack? The reason I say this is because I had one a few years back and HA symptoms for women are not the same as men so we don’t think it’s actually that. My mom had a heart attack last October. Had really odd symptoms and I told her to get to the ER. Bypass surgery for her. Heart attacks are the silent killer of women


You’ll be in my prayers Jim.

Reading your original post moved me so much I posted here for the very first time. I admire you for putting in the hard work of getting through the day without her, therapy and even trying medication.

I think it is cool that she is coming to you in dreams and although it is sad to hear that you are still struggling in some ways I would've found it sadder to read that you had moved on and were with a new partner already.

Life is tough. Hang in there.

Stay strong, man, praying for you.

Don't know if it's been suggested in this thread or not, but there's a guy on here who swears by microdosing psilocybin:

TD Psilocybin Thread

Jim and Peej: keep hanging in there. Always remember the good times, and I know it’s hard, but you’re both lucky to have found someone to miss them so much once they are gone.

Jim: I’m not advocating antidepressants, but a lot of times it’s a trial and error process to find one (or a combination) that works for you.

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It all came rushing back for some reason.

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A buddy’s wife died Feb’24. He did counseling. The counselor described the process as ‘like waves’. Sometimes they roll in repeatedly. Sometimes they take a pause but the next one is out there. After a pause the next one is often big. Slams you seemingly out of nowhere.

There are no shortcuts or secrets to dealing with grief. Hang in there.

My buddy found a new girl. Even that comes with feelings of guilt.

Happiness isn’t a place. It’s a journey with lots of potholes along the way.

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As to her symptoms at the end and of your initial post it reads as though she may have had a heart attack? The reason I say this is because I had one a few years back and HA symptoms for women are not the same as men so we don’t think it’s actually that. My mom had a heart attack last October. Had really odd symptoms and I told her to get to the ER. Bypass surgery for her. Heart attacks are the silent killer of women

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Cardiac arrytthmia. Contributing factors were type II diabetes and an enlarged heart. She was always slender up to about a year before she died when one of the new meds screwed up her blood sugar something awful. I believe it at least contributed to her death. She was on 7 or 8 different meds just to keep her going. Thats also the reason we weren't married. She just wasn't up to taking it on. We were hoping that was in the future but it didnt work out that way. Glad you're doing better.

I think about how you are doing all the time. Stay strong…

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There are no shortcuts or secrets to dealing with grief.

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this can't be emphasized enough...antidepressants are not meant to be taken to end or speed up the grieving process...it takes time and is not the same for every person...and if you don't let it run its natural course, you're likely in for a much more difficult time...

So sorry man.