re: Guys who got divorced with kids; how do you deal with being away from your kids?

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It sucks arse. Just try to call and FaceTime as much as possible. Those Sunday evening goodbyes rips my heart out every single time. Never gets easier.

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Your kids are lucky, baw.

My dad would have put me in a taxi, while bitching about losing his weekend.

Pat yourself on the back. They'll remember this you when they are older.

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Guys who got divorced with kids; how do you deal with being away from your kids?

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I get excited on the every other Friday that come around because my kids come back to me every other Sunday.

I get sad when the every other Friday comes around, because my kids go back to their mother every other Sunday.

It's an adjustment period, and you learn to deal with it, even if it wasn't your choice to divorce.

There are no winners in divorce. Everyone suffers, to what degree, depends on each person and the situation.

If there is no adultery, drug, alcohol, or physical abuse, or complete disrespect for the marriage, my belief is that divorce is the most selfish thing any person could ever do, especially when children are involved.

I'm not saying one should stay together simply for the kids, but two people initially came together because there was a belief they could work things out, even in the darkest of times. Sadly, many people give up, on themselves, and their spouse, and believe "happiness" is found somewhere else, all the while, happiness should be found from within and knowing that you already have it.

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mikelbr

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But sometimes I still wonder how in the hell I survived 2011-2015.

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Sadly, I can relate. When you are in the storm, you often wonder, "When is it going to end?" But it does. Every storm runs out of rain.

It's been said many times on here before, but I do believe to be true. Time helps heal all wounds.

I think many people, myself included, when I was going through it, allow their anxiety to get to them. Part of my biggest growth is learning how to calm my anxiety, which is nothing more than fear masked.

One of my biggest fears was not being able to control aspects of my situation, i.e., separation, choices made during separation, divorce, shame, embarrassment, which group of friends chose which partner, etc. Once I finally got a handle on it, my mental mindset completely changed.

Allow people to do what they want to do, so that way you can see what they want to do --- and then make your own choices about how you are going to deal with them.

That's why it is so important to work on yourself every single day, whether you are married or not. Be able to stand alone, so that you can stand side-by-side with someone.

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Reminded me of this song:

Highway 20 Ride

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I couldn't listen to that song without bawling for years.

This one was worse for me as it pertains to the younger two:
Miranda Lambert - The house that built me

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Never missed a school program. Made that 200 mile round trip many times to watch her class on stage for 10-15 minutes as part of the school play.

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This right here buddy. I couldn't control much over the years but I always drove an Accord or Camry so I could afford the gas to get to their school programs and sports.

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I couldn't listen to that song without bawling for years.

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It still gets me today. Even though my former wife and me live only about 15 minutes apart.

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This one was worse for me as it pertains to the younger two:
Miranda Lambert - The house that built me

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Great song.

The one that gets me almost every time, especially if I am alone, is this:

Larry Fleet - Where I Find God

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That day out on the water when the fish just wouldn't bite
I put my pole down, floated around, it was just so quiet
And I could hear my old man sayin', "Son, just be still"

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From a bar stool to that Evinrude
Sunday mornin' in a church pew
In a deer stand or a hay field
An interstate back to Nashville
In a Chevrolet with the windows down
Me and Him just ridin' around
Sometimes, whether I'm lookin' for Him or not
That's where I find God

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Sometimes late at night, I lie there and listen
To the sound of her heart beatin' and that song the crickets are singin'
And I don't know what they're sayin'
But it sounds like a hymn to me
No, I ain't too good at prayin'
But thanks for everything

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From a bar stool to that Evinrude
Sunday mornin' in a church pew
In a deer stand or a hay field
An interstate back to Nashville
In a Chevrolet with the windows down
Me and Him just ridin' around talkin'

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The "bold" hits me hard and really resonates with me.

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70-80% of divorces are initiated by women so most men have no say so.

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This is fact. I didn't want my divorce. I initially told my counselor, I didn't want a divorce, I don't agree with divorce, and I believed in upholding my marriage vow that I consented to.

He told me, "You better get yourself ready for a divorce, because she is divorcing you, and it doesn't matter what you want --- she is checked out." Later on, he would check in, and ask, "Has she made any moves toward you or potentially wanting to restore the marriage?" I said, "No, I don't see anything." He would then say, "You have your answer then."

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fightin tigers

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Do yours go to school? Do you go to work? How do you cope?

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What a dumb post

Get a court-ordered custody schedule with as much time as you can get. Follow it religiously. That way your kids know they can reliably see you and count on you. Don’t depend on your ex to “let” you see them depending on how they feel at any given time.