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re: Grandparents....how did you handle birth of first grand?
Posted on 6/6/25 at 9:52 am to F1y0n7h3W4LL
Posted on 6/6/25 at 9:52 am to F1y0n7h3W4LL
quote:
When the first grandchild from each of our children came, it was a holy event. Angels sang on high from heaven and light was emitted from the very presence of the child. Hands had to be washed, masks worn, safety precautions out the wazoo...absolutely nuts. Pictures galore.
When the second came it was not much of an event and almost from the start, they would virtually passed the kid to us like it was a football. They'd even let the garbage truck driver hold it if he'd gotten out of the truck.
0
Posted on 6/6/25 at 9:52 am to mmmmmbeeer
My parents were at the hospital but not in our business. We allowed them to come see the baby as soon as possible but we did set boundaries. My wife did not want people in her business while she was in such a rough condition, but she was ok with my parents coming to meet the baby. Ask your son what the appropriate boundaries are NOW. He ain't doing shite but watching his wife do all the work at this point. Abide by how his wife wants it to be handled. Its best for everyone.
Your wife being there at the hospital is great support and probably welcomed but don't allow her to impose. They don't need wisdom at this point....in three weeks it'll be a different story. LOLOLOL
Your wife being there at the hospital is great support and probably welcomed but don't allow her to impose. They don't need wisdom at this point....in three weeks it'll be a different story. LOLOLOL
Posted on 6/6/25 at 9:55 am to mmmmmbeeer
quote:
Were y'all at the hospital when your first grand was born?
we were there from the beginning until they got settled in a room. I may be different when it's your son. but, new moms need the family support.
Posted on 6/6/25 at 9:55 am to Klark Kent
quote:
Seeing how it’s not your daughter having the baby, but your DiL. I would assume that her mother will be there at delivery and helping her the first few days home from the hospital.
I don’t think you and your wife would be out of bounds for visiting them briefly in the hospital, meeting the baby, saying congrats, bringing them a gift or flowers. And then after that giving the new parents a bit of space and telling your son to please let them know how you both can help or provide some relief in the weeks after.
Just my perspective as to how my parents handled the birth of our children.
And congrats grandpa!
Oh, her mom is worse than my wife about this. She'll absolutely be there probably forcing her husband to film the whole thing
I think this is the tact...unless they specifically tell us to stay away, we just make a brief appearance to show support and share our joy. 20-30mins and out the door.
Thanks, man.
Posted on 6/6/25 at 9:58 am to mmmmmbeeer
quote:You wait until your son and wife invite you to come visit. Respect their family and their time to bond.
.how did you handle birth of first grand?
When my husband and I had our son (who came 6 weeks early), it was just him and I in the room when the baby came (along with about 11 other doctor and nurses). His parents saw the baby as he was getting wheeled to the NICU. They came to visit him in the NICU 2 days later.
This post was edited on 6/6/25 at 10:00 am
Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:02 am to tigerinms
quote:
my son and DIL want us there for birth
This is fine but don't assume this is the case for everyone. Maybe his Son and DIL want to have a couple of hours to themsevlves and want everyone to come to the hospital the next day. Maybe they want everyone to wait until they are discharged and to visit once they are home. I have found that older generations get their feelings hurt if they aren;t in the room 15 minutes after the baby is out. The mother just pushed a 10 lb sack of potatoes out of her nether regions. God forbid she wants a minute to recover and get dressed before having visitors.
Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:02 am to mmmmmbeeer
I'm 42 and I don't even talk to my grandkids, they will figure it out one day
Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:07 am to mmmmmbeeer
quote:
I'm excited, of course, but I'm not a baby freak. I'd rather wait for them to invite us or give us word they want us at the hospital. That said, I'm worried the wife will kinda force this invite to happen.
My oldest son and his wife are expecting in October, and this will be our first grandchild/son as well. They just got married in the first week of December and they wasted no time. I know how you feel. My wife is having a hard time with the new wife thing. They spend more time with her family than ours and she isn't coping well with it. Her feelings get hurt and feels like we aren't as important to him and she wants to try to butt into things and try to force them to do more with us. Now she's wanting to throw a baby shower for her. I told her sure, do it but make sure we are not planning it for the same time her mother wants to have one and my wife was mad that I even brought that up. She was like, well, they can have it on another day. My wife is just struggling not being a mother to him and wanting to do so much for them. I told her that this is how it will be, they will most likely do more with her side of the family than ours, it comes with being the boys parents. We're always there but just kind of in the background. The Bible states that the man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, it makes no reference to the wife leaving hers. I don't see him as much but I've come to realize that that's just how it's going to be and I've moved on. I still call him at least once a week just to see how he's doing and ask if he want's to go out for dinner sometimes but I let them make that decision as to when. It's hard but part of it. I'm just glad we raised him to be a good man and a husband who loves his wife. He knows that if he needs us, we'll be there. I did tell them that I've already bought the little fella a set of golf clubs and he's going to be my golf buddy, I can't wait!
Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:10 am to mmmmmbeeer
Tell your wife to wait for the call to come. Until then get her in the kitchen to make some freezer friendly meals yall can bring to their house later.
ETA: congrats!
ETA: congrats!
This post was edited on 6/6/25 at 10:11 am
Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:11 am to mmmmmbeeer
I would just create a new account and username
Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:13 am to tigafan4life
quote:
You wait until your son and wife invite you to come visit. Respect their family and their time to bond.
This.
You'll have plenty of time to see the child. Get some food ready for them or think of other ways to make their first couple days easier when they're back home.
All this seems pretty straight forward as someone with young kids, but I'm just guessing people forget what these times felt like when they were going through it x amount of years ago.
This post was edited on 6/6/25 at 10:15 am
Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:15 am to dek81572
quote:
My oldest son and his wife are expecting in October, and this will be our first grandchild/son as well. They just got married in the first week of December and they wasted no time. I know how you feel. My wife is having a hard time with the new wife thing. They spend more time with her family than ours and she isn't coping well with it. Her feelings get hurt and feels like we aren't as important to him and she wants to try to butt into things and try to force them to do more with us. Now she's wanting to throw a baby shower for her. I told her sure, do it but make sure we are not planning it for the same time her mother wants to have one and my wife was mad that I even brought that up. She was like, well, they can have it on another day. My wife is just struggling not being a mother to him and wanting to do so much for them. I told her that this is how it will be, they will most likely do more with her side of the family than ours, it comes with being the boys parents. We're always there but just kind of in the background. The Bible states that the man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, it makes no reference to the wife leaving hers. I don't see him as much but I've come to realize that that's just how it's going to be and I've moved on. I still call him at least once a week just to see how he's doing and ask if he want's to go out for dinner sometimes but I let them make that decision as to when. It's hard but part of it. I'm just glad we raised him to be a good man and a husband who loves his wife. He knows that if he needs us, we'll be there. I did tell them that I've already bought the little fella a set of golf clubs and he's going to be my golf buddy, I can't wait!
Congrats!
Your story matches ours to a T. They moved and live about 5 mins from her parents and 45 mins from us. They're constantly with her family and I think my wife's feelings are definitely hurt and she definitely tries to compensate. Her parents are cool and we all do hang out from time to time for dinners, football games, or just relaxing, so that does help with the whole jealousy angle, a bit, but I know my wife's feelings are hurt.
Like you said, it is what it is...these are super common relationship dynamics. No reason to get upset.
Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:17 am to Lazy But Talented
Nothing would have kept my wife from being at the hospital.that was 46 years and 6 grand children ago. . We were there for all 6 births.
Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:19 am to mmmmmbeeer
quote:
mmmmmbeeer
I am surprised you are allowed around children. Thought you may be on some list which prevents that.
Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:21 am to mmmmmbeeer
With number 5 actually being born today and #6 next month I have used the same tactic with them all.
Call when you want me to come to the hospital.
Bring some snacks/food if requested.
Visit for a bit and go home for a nice drink to celebrate a little on my own.
Call when you want me to come to the hospital.
Bring some snacks/food if requested.
Visit for a bit and go home for a nice drink to celebrate a little on my own.
Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:24 am to saltwaterdawg
quote:
Nothing would have kept my wife from being at the hospital.that was 46 years and 6 grand children ago. . We were there for all 6 births.
You had your first grandkid 46 years ago? Damn, how old are you?
Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:24 am to mmmmmbeeer
quote:
They moved and live about 5 mins from her parents and 45 mins from us.
Same here, she also has another set of circumstances, her parents are divorced so they have 2 sets of parents on her side to deal with. We like both sets of her parents as well but there will be a lot of people at the hospital when that day comes. I want to be there when he's born but I'm just going to go there, sit in the waiting room and go to the window to see him and hopefully, if it's not too crowded, hold him, if that doesn't happen, so be it, I'll have plenty of opportunities to do that. I know that will be a struggle for my wife.
Our other kid is a boy too, he just graduated High School so hopefully we've got a little while before he gets married. He's living at home while going to school here in town too so she still has one to be a mother too but when that time comes, she'll have to go through the same thing again but she should be prepared.
This post was edited on 6/6/25 at 10:28 am
Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:25 am to mmmmmbeeer
quote:
ur oldest and his wife are having our first grandchild today...got word mom is in labor this morning.
My wife is/has been flipping out about this grandbaby since she got the word he's coming. She's cancelled our plans for the weekend and I get the impression she thinks we should be at the hospital when the baby boy is born.
I'm excited, of course, but I'm not a baby freak. I'd rather wait for them to invite us or give us word they want us at the hospital. That said, I'm worried the wife will kinda force this invite to happen.
Were y'all at the hospital when your first grand was born? Were you asked to stay away until invited? I need advice on how to handle this with the wife. Probably should've had this convo before today...oh well.
imagine being a grandparent, first timer at that, and typing this all out and hitting submit. And feeling OK with it.
Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:28 am to Bert Macklin FBI
quote:
If she "bullies" her way in there and its not wanted, it'll cause issues.
Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:28 am to Kracka
quote:
imagine being a grandparent, first timer at that, and typing this all out and hitting submit. And feeling OK with it.
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