re: Grandparent Jealousy over time spent with Grandkid?

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had this discussion yesterday evening when my mom. she was upset because she made christmas plans and i asked to move them back an hour. She said "well, i guess we won't get to see the baby at all this Christmas!"

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If this were my mom, I'd have flipped my shite. It's hard enough already in that position, much less having others act like a child about it. Luckily my mom has been okay, but mostly because she has her hands full with my sisters kids. Granted that brings up my wife thinking our kid's not loved as much

My in laws complained to my wife last year. Thankfully it wasn't said in front of me. We live 6 hours away from both sides. Her side actually gets to see my son more (very slightly). They were upset that we never spend Christmas Day, Thanksgiving, or Easter Day there. They conveniently forgot that we do their side on Christmas eve and open presents Christmas morning with them. Same with Good Friday and Easter morning. And they don't even do anything for Thanksgiving while my whole extended family gets together. I told my wife that I'm going to be blunt if they bring it up in front of me......that we'll do it, but will have to stop all the other stuff. It resolved itself somehow .

Wife sounds like a bitch

Salmon has made some good points.

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then tell your mom if she wants to see the kid more, invite your wife over more, invite her to go shopping more, etc your wife is going to naturally spend more time with her mom, your mom needs to understand that and has to be the driving in forcing more time with the grandkid

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You need to fix this now. I've seen it get worse and worse. Have a family member with this issue and it's not pretty. It's petty as hell. The husband's mother is difficult. They don't live nearly as close as the wife's parents and other family members. She doesn't make a lot of effort to drop in and visit. She's too busy yada yada yada, but yet complains that the children are around the maternal in-laws too much, including grandparents, great grandparents, aunts, uncles-we all live very close to each other. We invite his family to everything. They are welcome any time, but paternal grandmother refuses most of the time. If she drops into their home for a visit, we all have to stay away so we don't interfere with her time with the children, what little there is since she doesn't make a lot of effort.

We have an open house Christmas Eve. The husband, wife and two young kids go to church with his family, so they miss most of it. We invite his family to stop in on their way home, but she won't do it anymore. The young family does Christmas with the mother's parents and grandparents on both sides and then they spend Christmas evening with the husband's parents. Not enough for his mother. It's nuts.

Tell your Mom she has to make the effort and get a grip because if she makes things miserable, then you're not going to be able to be around. She should change her tune. Tell her to offer to babysit if your wife needs to run some errands. She should go to your house to do it or offer that first. Easier than having your wife pack up a bunch of stuff, unless your Mom wants to buy all the things a young child needs to be at home at their house.

My sister has the only children on her husband's side of the family. We spend every holiday together and have since the first child was born. It's terrific. For Thanksgiving, her husband's family has breakfast and then we all eat together Thanksgiving night. For Christmas, my sister's family comes to my parents' for Christmas breakfast and gifts, then they go to her husband's parents' to open gifts and then we all meet together that night. Other siblings do lunch with their in-laws, but they are all invited if they wish to come Christmas night.

If your mother alienates your wife and the in-laws, it's going to be awful.