Good Morning *Weekend Edition*

Rise and Shine

1782 The British sign a preliminary agreement in Paris, recognizing American independence.

1838 Mexico declares war on France.

1861 The British Parliament sends to Queen Victoria an ultimatum for the United States, demanding the release of two Confederate diplomats who were seized on the British ship Trent.

1864 The Union wins the Battle of Franklin, Tennessee.

1900 Oscar Wilde dies in a Paris hotel room after saying of the room's wallpaper: "One of us had to go."

1900 The French government denounces British actions in South Africa, declaring sympathy for the Boers.

1906 President Theodore Roosevelt publicly denounces segregation of Japanese schoolchildren in San Francisco.

1919 Women cast votes for the first time in French legislative elections.

1935 Non-belief in Nazism is proclaimed grounds for divorce in Germany.

1945 Russian forces take Danzig in Poland and invade Austria.



JOTD: Two alter boys are fishing on a dock. One of the boys gets a bite and struggles to reel him in. When he finally gets the best of the fish, he snatches him up and proclaims to the other alter boy "Look at this big sum bitch!" The other alter boy says "You can't say that you're an alter boy" to which he explains "thats the name of the fish, sum bitch." "Wow, well that is a big sum bitch, lets go show it to the priest!"

The two boys run up to the priest yelling, "Priest look at this big sum bitch we caught!" Priest- "You boys can't talk like that you're alter boys!" Alter boys- "Priest thats the name of the fish, sum bitch" Priest- "Well that is a nice sum bitch, lets go catch some more of those sum bitches and show em to the cardinal!"

So the priest and the boys catch some more of those sum bitches and carry them to show the cardinal. "Cardinal, look at all these sum bitches we caught!" Cardinal- "I should have you all excommunicated for language like that!" Alter boys- "Well thats the name of the fish, sum bitch" Cardinal- "I never in my life have seen such a fine bunch of sum bitches, lets take them to the nuns and see if she'll cook up these sum bitches!"

So the alter boys, the priest and the cardinal go see the nun. "NUN! Can you cook up these sum bitches for us?!?!" Nun- "I aint cooking nothing if you boys are gonna talk like that!" Alter boys- "Nun thats the name of the fish, sum bitch!" Nun- "Well since you boys went through the trouble of catching all these sum bitches, I reckon I could fry these sum bitches up!"

That night the pope is visiting town and sets down for supper with the alter boys, priest, cardinal, and nun.

Alter boys- "I can't believe we caught all these sum bitches!" Priest- "These are the best sum bitches I have ever ate!" Cardinal- "Nun, you cooked these sum bitches just right!" Nun- "I sure did, you boys gotta catch some more of these sum bitches!"

The pope looks around at everyone with a surprised look on his face. He cracks a grin and says......."Y'all mother frickers are alright!"