Good Morning *School Starts This Week*

Rise and Shine

When does school start for your kids?

August 15th here.

30 BC Cleopatra VII, Queen of Egypt, commits suicide.

1099 At the Battle of Ascalon 1,000 Crusaders, led by Godfrey of Bouillon, route an Egyptian relief column heading for Jerusalem, which had already fallen to the Crusaders.

1687 At the Battle of Mohacs, Hungary, Charles of Lorraine defeats the Turks.

1762 The British capture Cuba from Spain after a two month siege.

1791 Black slaves on the island of Santo Domingo rise up against their white masters.

1812 British commander the Duke of Wellington occupies Madrid, Spain, forcing out Joseph Bonaparte.

1863 Confederate raider William Quantrill leads a massacre of 150 men and boys in Lawrence, Kansas.

1864 After a week of heavy raiding, the Confederate cruiser Tallahassee claims six Union ships captured.

1896 Gold is discovered near Dawson City, Yukon Territory, Canada. After word reaches the United States in June of 1897, thousands of Americans head to the Klondike to seek their fortunes.

1898 The Spanish American War officially ends after three months and 22 days of hostilities.

Jotd: Two Italian men get on a bus.
They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

"You foul-mouthed swine," retorted the lady indignantly. "In this country we don't talk about our sex lives in public!"

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."