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Today in History: May 4

1471 In England, the Yorkists defeat the Lancastrians at the Battle of Tewkesbury.

1626 American Indians sell Manhattan Island for $24 in cloth and buttons.

1776 Rhode Island declares independence from England.

1942 The United States begins food rationing.

1942 The Battle of the Coral Sea commences.

1970 Ohio National Guardsmen open fire on student protesters at Kent State University, killing four and wounding nine others.

Born on May 4

1929 Audrey Hepburn (Edda van Heemstra Hepburn-Ruston), actress, later U.N. special ambassador.

1949 Graham Swift, British novelist (The Sweet Shop Owner, Out of this World).

JOTD
An old, blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.....

...in a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says,
"Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
The bouncer is a blonde girl.
I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.
Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?"
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, "No, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."