GMT

Today in History: August 23

1305 Scottish patriot William Wallace is hanged, drawn, beheaded, and quartered in London.

1711 A British attempt to invade Canada by sea fails.

1775 King George III of England refuses the American colonies' offer of peace and declares them in open rebellion.

1863 Union batteries cease their first bombardment of Fort Sumter, leaving it a mass of rubble but still unconquered by the Northern besiegers.

1926 American film star Rudolph Valentino dies, causing world-wide hysteria and a number of suicides.

1939 Joseph Stalin and German Foreign Minister Joachim von Ribbentrop sign a non-aggression pact between the Soviet Union and Germany, freeing Adolf Hitler to invade Poland and Stalin to invade Finland.

1942 German forces begin an assault on the major Soviet industrial city of Stalingrad.

1944 German SS engineers begin placing explosive charges around the Eiffel Tower in Paris.

1950 Up to 77,000 members of the U.S. Army Organized Reserve Corps are called involuntarily to active duty to fight the Korean War.

1954 First flight of the C-130 Hercules transport aircraft.

1990 East and West Germany announce they will unite on Oct 3.

1996 Osama bin Laden issues message entitled "A declaration of war against the Americans occupying the land of the two holy places."

2011 A 5.8 earthquake centered at Mineral, Virginia, damages the Washington Monument, forcing the landmark to close for repairs.


Today in History: Born on August 23

1934 Barbara Eden, actress (I Dream of Jeannie TV series).

1965 Roger Avary, screenwriter, director (Killing Zoe); shared Academy Award with co-writer Quentin Tarantino for best original screenplay (Pulp Fiction).


JOTD
A man doesn't feel well and wants to call-in sick to work...

So he phones his boss and explains that he wants to take a sick day.
"Well," says the boss, "when I'm feeling under the weather I just ask my wife to give me a blowjob. Usually perks me right up! Why don't you try that?"
"Ok, I guess it's worth a shot" says the man.
About an hour later the man arrives to work looking like he feels pretty good.
"See!" says the boss. "I told that would probably work!"
"Yup - I gotta admit, you were right! You have a beautiful home, by the way."