GMT - TGIF Beware the Ides of March Edition

Good Morning Err’body
Let’s get the show on the road.

Julius Caesar assassinated on the Ides of March
In 44 Roman dictator Julius Caesar was launching a series of political and social reforms when he was assassinated this day, the Ides of March, by a group of nobles, among whom were Cassius and Brutus.

1493 - Christopher Columbus returned to Spain after his first visit to the Western Hemisphere.

1781 – Astronomer and composer William Herschel discovered the planet Uranus (see joke, below) while in the garden of his house in Bath, England, thinking it was a comet.

1820 - Maine is admitted as the 23rd state.

1864 - The Red River Campaign begins as the Union forces reach Alexandria, La.

1916 - General John Pershing and his 15,000 troops chase Pancho Villa into Mexico.

1934 - Henry Ford restores the $5-a-day wage.

1935 -Joseph Goebbels, German Minister of Propaganda bans four Berlin newspapers.

1968 - The U.S. mint halts the practice of buying and selling gold.

1991 - Four Los Angeles police are charged in the beat down of Rodney King for failure to comply.



Skillet goes to a doctor because he has a tapeworm.

The doctor says: Come back tomorrow with a banana and a Snickers bar. Skillet is very confused but does as he’s told.

The next day Skillet shows up with a banana and a Snickers bar. The doctor proceeds to insert the banana and the Snickers bar up Skillet’s arse.

Skillet and the doctor repeat this process for 5 days. On the sixth day, the doctor tells the him: Tomorrow bring a banana but instead of a Snickers bar, bring a hammer. Skillet is of course again confused but does as he’s told.

The next day the doctor inserts the banana up Skillet’s butt and quickly grabs the hammer and waits.

All of the sudden, the tapeworm pops out saying : Hey! Where’s my damn Snickers bar?